decision we have to live with
by ortonambrosecenangel
Summary: randy and his best friend ave made choice that they have to live with can they live wit out each ohter or to do that choice a little to hard
1. Chapter 1

i only own angelica and any one else u do not know on here.

i saw her dancing with my brother nathan and laughing at some most likely retard joke he had heard from one of his knucklehead friends. she was in a wheelchair but at the moment nathan was holding her against him. he did not want her to feel uncomfortable. she had been my best friend since we were seven years old. i was sitting on the back steps of my family house because it was my mom birthday. my daughter was sitting beside me and my wife sam was in the house talking to my mom and my friend john cena mom. john was dancing with his wife liz. the song ends and i see nathan gentle help angelica back in her chair. i look at my daughter and said" princess dance with uncle nathan while i dance with angelica ok" alanna giggles and nod her head and runs to her uncle as i walk over to angelica and i kneel down and said" hey beautiful angel do you want to dance?" i look up at him and nod my head and i help her back up and i felt her arms around me. as the song truly madly deeply by savage garden. i look over at my sister who was the dj basically and she was laughing. i roll my eyes as i look down at angelica with her head against my chest. i smile softly as i sway back and froth and then we heard a ear broken screaming. angelica lift her head up and i turn around to see sam looking pissed which was never a good thing. so i gentle put angelica back in her chair and i walk over toward her and said" what the matter honey" sam replied" what were u doing with that" i growled in my throat since i hated when people called angelica " that" or "it" when she has a name. i look at sam and said" dancing it was nothing else" sam walk over and picks up alanna and said" we are leaving" i walk over toward my mom and kiss her cheek and look back at angelica who look heartbroken and there was not anything i could do about it.

later that night i came back to my mom house since she said she wanted to talk to me alone. i pull up to the house and i could still hear music so i knew people were still here and i walk into the house and i walk outside to see my mom and my aunt talking. i see john cena and nathan and liz all talking to angelica. my mom look up at me and said why did you leave" i replied" because sam left and i wanted to make sure she was ok" my mom look at me and said" do you remember the accident" i did not want to nod my head or move but i sigh softly and said"yes mom i do" my mom said" honey, i love sam you know that i love sam, she is wonderful girl but ever since that accident she has litteraly made angelica feel like she should not be here and angelica is more of a daughter then sam to me" i look at my mom and look over at angelica and thought i made her feel like she does not belong here with my family more importantly with me. i shook the thought out of my head. i said" mom i am married to sam what do you want me to do leave sam and my little girl" my mom shook her head and replied" no i am not saying that i am just saying think about how angelica feels that accident change her life forever" i sigh and just sat there

meanwhile john and nathan were trying to cheer up angelica as liz was calling randy all kind of names. i was trying to smile or laugh but it just was not worth it feeling sad when he just left not saying a word to me. john said" hey angel come on he is a idiot, he know where his heart is baby girl" nathan said" come on it is randy he makes ass out of himself and we are there to pick up the pieces over and over again i am sorry angelica but i am not doing this anymore" he walks away and i sighs. i did not blame nathan for walking away heck if i could i would walk away as well. then john, liz and i heard a husky voice and said" can i talk to her" john and liz look and see randy and john eyes flash with angry and said" no go away go talk to sam" liz and me grab john and i said" thanks adopt brother but i think nathan is right i need to handle my problems on my own" john sigh softly and kiss my cheek and said" ok" liz and john walk away from randy and me.

randy kneel down and said" do you remember the accident we were both in?" i look at him like" no duh hello wheelchair" he sigh softly and replied" angelica i remember waking up in the hospital hearing doctors talking about how luck i was and how luck you were to be a live and i remember my heart aching so bad that i hurt you you told me for six months it was not my fault then one day i came home and told you how i felt about you and i meant it and then i meet sam and we get married and had a daughter" i look at him and said" would you please get to the point because all you are doing is reliving the past and it is already kills me to think about it" randy shallow seeing tears in my eyes and said"i love you, if i leave sam are you going to be here for me to turn to" i look at him and laugh and said" second choice that is all i am to anyone anymore" i push him away as hard as i could and roll away.i saw john and liz coming up to me and said" go ask her i have to go" i walk over and kiss my mom cheek and told my dad i was leaving. i sat in my hummer and hit the steel wheel over and over as i pull out and drove home and park. i could not leave my little girl and i could not ruin her happy home and i certain did not want another man raising my little girl. so i climb out of the car and walk into the house feeling worse then ever. sam was watching a movie and alanna was a sleep beside her. so i pick her up and carried her upstairs and tuck her in as i watch her soft brown curlies fall into her face. i think about angelica and i just felt tears rolling down my cheek.

meanwhile john was following me once he caught up with me of course. i said" jonathan felix anthony cena go away" john said" angelica hope Isabella jones no nathan is right randy is a jackass if he cant see that you are so in love with him that it nearly kills you i am scared that i wont be there the next time you try to hurt yourself i can't lose my adopt little sister, i never had a sister i am stuck with four brothers ok five if i am counting randy but still i have liz but i need a girl that is normal that does not run away when i say something stupid or get mad when i say something stupid, i remember that accident you and randy decide to drive back home i thought you two were stupid but hey i would have done the same thing if we were close to my hometown at the time to be with my family and people i care about, i remember when randy call me the sadness in his voice i will never get out of my head, you have the same sadness in your eyes and when you talk, the only time i see you smile is when randy is around you" i sighs and stops and look at him" he told me if he left sam would i be there john i am not some second rate prize, i want someone to hold me and tell me i am pretty, i want someone to wrap his arms around me and sway with me even through i can't feel my legs, i want someone to hold me during a thunderstorm, i want someone to look at me like you look at liz, like noah looks at becky like randy dad looks at randy mom, i want that so bad it hurts." john walk over and hugs mesoftly and rub my back softly" you will get that one day and then randy will realize he let a good thing go" when they get to my house they see randy hummer. i said" thanks john for walking me home but i can handle this" john smile and kiss my cheek and said" ok i will be at randy mom if you need anything just call" i nod my head and i rolls into the house since randy was in the house she knew the door was unlock and i lock the door behind me and said" randall keith orton where are you" a husky voice said" come find me" i slips my shoes off of my feet and my jacket and heads toward where i heard the voice came from and asked" what are you doing" a husky voice coming from behind me and said" showing you that you are not second choice you are always my first choice" before i could say anything randy kiss me and picks me up and lays me gentle on bed and kiss me softly and slowly pull away. i said" what about sam?" randy said" what about her? i am looking at what i want more importantly who i need in my life" i blushes and kisses him softly as they start taking clothes off of each other and they made love for mine first time.


	2. Chapter 2

chapter two

Stand By You

Stand By You

this is going to be the chapter of randy dream and the beginning of this chapter is randy dream.

_I'd been here before, so many times. That all too familiar night when Angelica and I had decided to drive home, instead of stopping in the hotel with the other wrestlers. A bad snow storm had been predicted for the following day, so we had wanted to get back to St. Louis as soon as possible._

_It was great, that my best friend was from the exact same town as I was. Actually, that was one of the main reasons we had become friends. She had debuted a few years after I had in the wrestling world, but after a few random talks about our hometown, we had just clicked, and had been pretty much inseparable ever since._

_Not only did we have this in common, but it was easier for the pair of us when we were taking such long drives around the country. This time was no different, seeing as we had seven whole hours to travel before we made it home._

_We had laughed and joked to begin with, when it had been her turn to drive. We had always loved to tease each other about basically anything, but we both knew it was completely harmless. She was my girl, and I cared a hell of a lot about her, as she did me. She was always there for me when I had needed her, and I was always there for her. No matter what._

_No matter what._

_After a few hours, the snow was starting to make driving pretty damn hard, and Angelica was tired as it was. So, at the next service station we stopped and swapped places. Ten minutes after being back on the road, and she was already fast asleep._

_Despite barely being able to see two feet in front of me because of the blizzard that was beginning to blow up, I just couldn't help myself from taking glances at my sleeping best friend beside me, looking as uncomfortable as hell with her legs curled up on the seat underneath her._

_Uncomfortable, but cute, none the less. I loved how serene she looked in her sleep, as if there was no care in the world. I loved how her chocolate brown hair fell all around her, concealing that beautiful face of hers. I loved how she sighed in her sleep, and the smallest of smiles grew across her lips. I wondered what she was dreaming of, and if it had anything to do with me..._

_I hadn't realised while I had been admiring her that there was a lorry on the opposite side of the road... or a patch of ice that we were both about to drive on to..._

_Headlights. Brakes. Swerving. Pain._

_Blackness._

_My eyes shot open, and I jumped up into a seating position in my bed, my entire body covered in sweat as I struggled to breathe._

_I ran a shaky hand through my short brown hair, and my eyes momentarily closed as I struggled to think of anything but my nightmare._

_But it wasn't a nightmare, it was real._

_The accident had happened six months ago now, and despite the rather large gap in time, I still couldn't go a night without dreaming about what had happened, or what I had done..._

_After I had blacked out, I remembered nothing of what had happened next, not until I finally woke up in the hospital. The doctors had told me that I was lucky to be alive, that when I had swerved away from the lorry, the car had gone straight towards the trees on the outskirt of the road, and after hitting one, there had been barely anything left of the vehicle._

_Yet somehow, someway, I had managed to get out of it without anything to show. I had a mild concussion, a few bruises, cuts, scratches, and that was it..._

_Physically._

_You see, I may have been lucky that night, but Angelica had not been._

_Before you jump to conclusions, she did make it through the accident alive as well... but with far worse consequences. When they say a driver always swerves to move themselves out of harms way, it's the truth. I would have done anything to keep my best friend safe, but when you have a split second to save your own life, there isn't really anything you can do except for just that. Try and save yourself._

_Which I'd done, putting Angelica in the line of fire, instead. The car had hit the tree directly in front of the passenger seat, and although I hadn't been able to listen to any more details about the crash, I did know that everything that had happened to my best friend was my fault. If I hadn't had swerved my way, or pulled off of the road, or even been looking where I was going instead of at her, then none of it would have even happened._

_We wouldn't have been in that car accident, and Angelica would still have been able to walk._

_"Ahh, you're awake, took you long enough man."_

_I lifted my head from my hands, glaring at the young man who stood before me, a towel wrapped around his waist as he rummaged through his bag._

_"Whatever," I grumbled, throwing the covers off of me and standing up to stretch. I knew it was early, Ted always woke at ridiculous times to go to the gym before it got busy... but I just couldn't bring myself to close my eyes and try and sleep again. I knew the minute I did, I'd be back in the car._

_"You alright, Ortz?" He eyed me suspiciously, a pair of shorts and a tank in his hands. He probably wondered where my smart remark was, but truthfully, I couldn't think of one right now. I couldn't get my mind off of my best friend._

_What was I talking about? I could never get my mind off of Angelica anymore. Since the accident, the only thing I had been able to think about was her._

_"Yeah, I'm fine," I nodded, swallowing the thick lump in my throat._

_"Okay..." He looked at me for a few more moments, before shrugging gently, "Well, seeing as you're up, you wanna come to the gym?"_

_"Actually, man... I think I'll just make an early trip home."_

_"Oh right, got something planned?"_

_I did, as a matter of fact, but I wasn't gonna be telling him that. Actually, nobody even knew what I had in mind._

_You see, I was returning home until our next show, but rather than spending time at my own house, I'd be staying with Angelica. I hadn't stopped in my own house since just after the accident. Every time I returned, I'd stay with her, and weight on her hand and foot._

_There was nothing special about the fact that I was going to be doing that when I got home, as it was the usual... but that wasn't the only thing I'd be doing, either. There was something else... something huge, that I had wanted to do for far too long, for months, and I knew I couldn't leave it any longer._

_"Nah, just the usual," I shrugged, before picking up a towel off the top of my own bag, "I'll catch you later though, yeah?"_

_"Sure man, take care," Ted nodded._

_Returning the gesture, I quickly made my way into the bathroom and turned on the shower, thankful for the distraction the hot water was giving me. Not only did it slowly make the nightmare disappear from my mind, but it also cleared my thoughts, until I knew exactly what I was going to say for this big moment I had planned once I returned home._

_I knocked on the door, my mood jittery as I waited impatiently for Angelica to answer. It was only a few hours since I had left the hotel, but I was already back, and had even had chance to run quickly home to get a new load of clothes for the next few days I'd be spending with my best friend._

_I tapped my foot on the floor, my mind buzzing with far too many thoughts. Perhaps I knew exactly how I was going to approach what I was going to do, but it still didn't stop me from feeling beyond nervous. It wasn't everyday that you confessed your love for someone, was it?_

_"Randy?" The door opened eventually to an extremely confused looked Angelica on the opposite side, her hands placed on the wheels of her chair as she scrunched up her face, "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't back till tomorrow?"_

_"I wasn't," I shrugged, dropping my bags down on the floor and kneeling down to pull her in for a hug. I swallowed, trying to rid myself of the emotion that ran through me every time I saw my best friend. I knew she hated it when I pitied her, so I always tried to hide how I was really feeling around her... but sometimes I just couldn't stop myself from feeling upset, and downright pissed off at myself, for allowing this to happen to her, "But there wasn't much to do, I was just gonna hang with some of the guys, but the plan kinda fell through, so I thought I might as well come home. Besides, I have something far more important here," I smirked as I pulled away, but only far enough to look into her eyes._

_"Whatever you say, Randal," She rolled her eyes playfully, and I shook my head in reply, wondering how she managed to do it... to be happy._

_If I were in her position, I wouldn't be able to handle it. Just the thought of not being able to walk would be enough to end my life there and then... but I guess I was just weak. My best friend was ten times stronger than me in so many ways, if not more. I admired her more than she could possibly know for this, and it just made my feelings for her even stronger._

_"So, how are things? You doing okay?" I asked as I picked up my things and followed her into the living room, but not before closing the door behind me._

_"You know, you don't have to ask me that every single time you speak to me," I couldn't see her facial expression as she wheeled herself in front of me, but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was probably rolling her eyes at me round about now._

_"I know, I'm sorry..." I sighed, running a hand through my short hair, "I just care about you."_

_"Aww, how cute," She grinned as she stopped beside the sofa, and I couldn't help but smile back as I dropped my bag on the floor for a second time. I watched as she began to edge herself forward, and within seconds I was by her side, helping her out of her chair and onto the sofa. I knew that she was more than capable of doing this by herself now, but still, I couldn't just stand there and not help._

_"I got it, thanks," She smiled once she was securely on the seat, and I rather reluctantly nodded, before walking over and taking a seat beside her._

_"So, what have I missed while I've been away?" I asked, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer. I smiled as she leant her head against me, and I wondered if she had any idea about how I really felt about her, or about what I was going to say once all this small talk was out of the way..._

_"Not much, really, just the usual. Watched Raw last night, it was crazy. You've gotta fill me in on all the gossip." She replied, sending me a small smile, which I knew was by far a fake one. She had taken pretty much everything in her stride, but one thing that I knew she didn't like was not being on the road. I could tell every single time I left her to go wrestle, that it was eating her up inside._

_But, how could it not? She was doing a far better job than I would have in her position. Wrestling was my life... and without it, well, there would be nothing._

_Except for her, of course._

_I sighed once more as I looked down at her, my mood turning glum, as it usually did when I first arrived back to visit. She had told me countless times to not feel sorry for her or to blame myself for what happened, but it was so much harder than just listening to a few words and accepting it._

_Angelica would forever be in a wheelchair, because of me._

_I didn't deserve her. How could I even ask her to be my girlfriend, when I didn't even deserve her friendship? She was like this because of me._

_If I had been a decent guy, I would have stayed away. Even though I had basically ruined it already, I would have left her alone to get on with the rest of her life._

_But I wasn't a decent guy. I was a selfish asshole, and I knew that no matter how better off she was without me, I was going nowhere until I knew if we could ever be anything more than best friends._

_"Ang, I'm so sorry," I shook my head, completely forgetting her previous question. I could fill her in on gossip later... but how I felt about her couldn't wait. Ironic, seeing as I had realised months ago that I felt this way, but it was the truth. I couldn't keep this a secret from her any longer; I couldn't waste another moment of my life when she could be mine. I had to seize the moment, because who knew how much time we really had?_

_"Sorry? For what?" She asked, tilting her head slightly so that she could look at my face. When she saw how serious I really was, she lifted it completely, her expression confused as she peered into my eyes, "Randy? What are you talking about?"_

_"Do you hate me?" I asked, once again leaving her question unanswered, "For what I did to you?" I looked down at her legs, knowing that she wouldn't need an explanation to understand what I meant._

_"Please tell me you're not still blaming yourself," She groaned. She waited for an answer, but I stayed silent, not really knowing what else to say. I did still blame myself... how could I not? "Randy, what happened," She paused, her hand rising to lift my chin so I was looking directly into her eyes, "It was not your fault. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that it was just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you are not responsible for what happened to me... and as for hating you? I could never hate you," She shook her head, tears prickling her eyes as she smiled at me._

_"How do you do this?" I asked, my own emotions starting to get the better of me as I took a hold of her free hand with my own, "How can you be so positive about everything after..."_

_"... because we can't dwell on the bad things, Randy," She interrupted, shaking her head back and forth as she moved her hand from my chin to my cheek, slowly caressing it as she smiled at me once more, "So maybe there is a whole lot of shit in our lives, but there's far too many good things to just give up. You, for one," She said the last part almost reluctantly, and the smallest of blushes grew across her cheeks. She couldn't have said anything more appropriate._

_"You know, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a long time now, and I've just never had the courage to do it... until now."_

_"Okay," She nodded encouragingly, not questioning me at all, "What is it?"_

_I sighed nervously, and took in a number of deep breaths, preparing to tell my best friend that I had loved her for a long time now, since I realised just how lucky I was to have her in my life after what happened with the car accident. In fact, I knew that I had felt something before it had happened, but it had taken something huge like that to make me realise just what those feelings were._

_"Ang," I smiled, shuffling myself so that I was turned her way, looking directly into her eyes, both of her hands now placed in my own, "Since the moment you and I first met, I knew that there was something special about you... something that I saw in you that I didn't in other women, but it wasn't until a while later that I realised what that was," I paused, and I could see her eyes growing wider. I gulped, realising that she'd already caught on, and I had barely said anything yet, "After the accident, I realised that you were the most amazing, courageous, brave, and beautiful person I had ever met, and I could have lost you."_

_"Randy, I..."_

_"No, please, let me finish," I interrupted, and after a few moments of silence, she reluctantly nodded, "All of that made me realise something, about how I felt about you. It took me to the point of nearly losing you to realise that... that I love you, Angelica. I feel so stupid, for waiting for so long to tell you this, but I guess I was just frightened that you didn't feel anything for me in return... but you know, I just don't care anymore. It's okay if you don't want me too, I just want you to know how I feel," I smiled ever so lightly, "I want you to know that you're the love of my life, and that if you'll have me, I'll be yours."_

_I allowed her a moment to register what I had told her, as I knew it was a hell of a lot to take in. I stayed silent, just watching, trying to decipher the slightest expression on her face, but there was nothing. It was just... blank._

_"Ang? Is there something wrong? Did I say the wrong thing?"_

_"Randy," She barely even whispered, and for the first time since I had told her how I felt I saw a flash of something in her eyes, but it was not what I wanted to see, "I'm sorry, but I can't do this," She shook her head, tears slowly beginning to fall down her cheeks._

_"What?" I shook my head, over and over again, trying to stop her words from sinking in. I knew I had told her if she didn't want this, then it would be okay, but I hadn't really expected a no then, "You don't... want to be with me?"_

_"No, it's not that..." She caught herself before she finished her sentence, and pulled her hands away from me as she began another, "You don't want to be in a relationship with me, Randy."_

_"You're joking, right?" I laughed bitterly, "I just spilt my guts to you, and you tell me that I don't want to be with you? I love you. I want to be with you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want..."_

_"To take care of me? To do everything for me because I can't?" She was crying heavily now, and her voice was harsh as she pointed down to her legs, "You have no idea what you're talking about. You don't want to spend the rest of your life stuck with someone like me. You have the perfect job, the perfect life, Randy... and I will not spoil it for you. I'm sorry, but I won't let you throw away everything you have because of me."_

_I sat completely frozen, watching as she struggled to pull herself off the sofa and back into her wheelchair. I wanted to just accept the fact that she didn't want what I did, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, because there was still something that I didn't know..._

_"Do you love me?" I spoke up, barely above a whisper._

_She had barely moved a few inches before she stopped moving completely, my words obviously hitting a soft spot. I gasped, hoping... no, praying, that that soft spot was that she felt the same as I did._

_"That doesn't matter, Randy," She shook her head, her eyes on the floor._

_"It's the only thing that does matter!" I growled, taking a hold of her shoulders and pulling her around gently, so that she was once again looking my way. She wasn't getting away with this until I knew how she really did feel, "I need to know, Angelica. Do you love me?"_

_"I... I..."_

_"Tell me the truth, please," I was practically begging with her now, but I didn't care._

_"I... I do," Her eyes glazed over, and a fresh batch of tears began to fall. A sob broke out from her throat as she began to talk again, "I love you so much. I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you, Randy. I had even been planning to talk to you about it, before the accident... but afterwards? I couldn't," She shook her head, and I ever so slowly lifted my hands to wipe away the tears with my thumbs, "I couldn't do that to you, ask you to be my boyfriend, when I was like this, so... so useless."_

_"Useless? No, Ang..." I began to protest._

_"Don't," Her voice was so harsh as she interrupted, that my mouth closed with a snap of surprise, "How could I ever be the perfect girlfriend for you? I'll never be able to talk walks with you; I'll never be able to do things for you that a normal girlfriend would..."_

_I could feel my own eyes burning as I looked at her now, so broken. I had always loved how amazingly brave she was about everything that had happened, but this... this didn't change how I felt about her. In fact, it made my heart swell to double its size, if that were possible. It made me want to protect her, to comfort her. I wanted her to know that I would always be there as a shoulder to cry on, that I'd stand by her no matter what. I wanted her to know that I wanted to be with her forever._

_"I don't want those things, Ang... and I don't care how many things you have to say to me to try and scare me away, because none of it is going to work. I love you, and the only thing that I want is you. Forever."_

_I wasn't sure what it was, but all of a sudden, her tears started to disappear, and her eyes refocused on my own. I didn't say anything as we stared into each other's eyes... instead; I allowed her the time she needed to decide what she was going to do. Time seemed to last forever as I waited, but finally, she spoke up... with one, simple question._

_"Forever?"_

_A smile as wide as I could possibly muster grew across my face as I inched over, and pulled her into the tightest hug I had ever given. My own tears had spilled from my eyes and down my cheeks by that point, but I didn't care. All I cared about was the fact that she had accepted... and that she loved me too._

_"Forever," I whispered as we pulled away, only to find our faces barely inches apart, "I love you."_

_"I love you too, Randy," She shook her head, before pulling me towards her to share our first of many kisses to come._

**present day **

i am laying next to angelica at the moment she is a sleep with her brown hair messing and her bed was covering up with sheets. she look so peaceful and i did care about her but i could not do this right now. i get out of bed and i took a shower and she was still a sleep. i see paper and walk over and wrote

_i love you angelica more then anything in the world but right now i can't do this i love sam and i love my daughter, you know what it is like to be without a father i can't do that to my little girl. just please do not be mad at me last night was amazing waking up watching you sleep well i could do that every day if i was not with sam i would i love you. _

_sign randy_

i look over at her and smile her hair was in her face and she look so peaceful. if john knew what i did i knew he would kill me, nathan would bury me and well my sister becky would make sure that was no evidence to find me. i kiss her forehead and walks out the house. the moment i get in my car i just sat there and grab my phone delete her number and delete everything of her.

i back out of the drive way and head to my house and when i pull up i see my daughter playing in the front yard. i climb out of my hummer and see sam and she see me and smile and walk over and hugs me and said" i am sorry about what i said last night she is your friend and you guys have been through alot it just i am scared i am going to lose you to her" i felt very guilty and hug her softly and said" don't worry i am right here where i belong i won't leave you or alanna" i walk over and start playing with my daughter.

no one point of view

i woke up and see the note on the side of the bed where he was and i read it and start crying. he went back to her again i was his second chance a dirty secret i am not a secret darn it. i remember the night he came to my apartment and told me his feelings for me and i remember our first kiss and i remember after two months he meet sam and they click and well i become the good friend or the best friend. i made the piece of paper into a ball and throw it away and i just get into the shower and just sat there letting the water wash over my body. if he was going to choose her over me, then i had to push him out of my life. the moment i get out of the shower i grab one of john t-shirt that say never give up. i grab a pair of shorts and went through my apartment of anything and everything that remember me of randy i put it in a box and push the box in my closet and close the door not knowing my life was about to change once again.

**two weeks later **

i did not know eight letters could scary me so much. eight letters one word and my heart was racing and my hands were shaking. john and liz were over and watching tv trying to get my mind off the one and only man it has ever been on who is randy orton. i look at the pregnancy test the fifth one of the morning. they all had the same eight letters. i did not know what to feel. happy that i was having a baby. sad that i was having a baby and i had no clue where his or her father was. mad that i was having a baby and i did not know where his or her father was. excited because i would not be alone anymore, i would have someone to take care of and to hold and to love. the knock on the door made me literally jump out of my skin and i heard " are you ok angel?" i knew who it was asking me that since he was the only one who called me angel or baby angel. i sigh and wrap each test with toilet paper and throw them away. i came out and he look at me and said" are you ok?" i shook my head and said" no i am pregnant, i do not know where randy is? i do not know how to feel about this." john hugs me and rub my back softly and said" honey look i am going back on the road, randy is on smackdown i do not feel comfortable leaving you alone" i groaned softly it was one time and he was not going to let me leave it down. i cut my self six time each arm deep marks the night me and randy broke up for the first time the night he left and want out and get to know sam. but i knew if i stay in this apartment any longer i was going to scream. i haven't slept in my bed since that night me and randy made love.

john kneel down and said" angelica please just come with me, come on you know you miss evan, kofi, rey, everyone please" he was giving me the puppy face and pouty lip. i roll my eyes and said "fine geeze get up" he laugh and gets up. he walks out of the room and i just sit there. single? yes single mother? most likely picture in a million years? a hell to the no.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3

**five months later **

i was five months pregnant and moody and well tired almost all the time and i ate almost all the time. but i had my friends, ok they were john's friends but they became my friends as well especial evan bourne. i was walking to the catering thing i had done a really good job of not seeing randy orton. he was on smackdown and john was on raw. everything was good and tonight we were doing a homeshow and i was about to find out it was not just a homeshow. it was a supershow homeshow which means raw and smackdown both were there. i was walking to the catering where i see evan bourne and christian cage. the moment i see christian. i was happy because christian was always nice to me and funny and goofy but i was mad because no one told me there was going to be a supershow and no one told me that smackdown was going to be there. what the hell i thought john why didn't you tell me i can't see randy right now. i walk into the catering room and evan see me and shallow hard since my eyes were not blue anymore they were a dark green which means i was pissed. christian said" wow baby mommy you look good. i knew what christian was trying to do so i lightly smile and hug him and said" please on god green earth tell me randy is not with you guys." christian look at me and replied" he is the champion of course he is with us" i stomp my feet and said" you could at least lie i mean i know you are bad at it but still" he giggles and hugs me and kiss my forehead and said" i did not say he was here yet i said he was going to be here because he is the champion" i sigh in relief he was not here yet which means i did not have to tell him anything at the moment. evan look at me and said" angelica you know you are like a little sister to me, do not hate me but you are going to have to tell him" i look at evan throwing angry at him with my eyes but i knew he was right.

i talk to the guys for a while and then i see the divas that i hate walking toward the table. it was nikkie bella, brie bella, kelly kelly and melina. they hate me why because i was friends with all the guys and the rest of the girls. plus nikki and brie bella wanted one man and well that one man was randy orton. they had heard me talking to evan about it and they knew i was carrying randy baby. nikki said" look it is mrs. hippo, with airborn and captain loser" i roll my eyes and look at the guys and replied" look you guys the good time easy gang is here, we have the women champion who slept her way to the top to get the title or chance to get it for that matter, we have the easy twin magic twins and melina who splits her legs to get in the ring and does it more out of the ring" christian laugh and lean over and whisper" damn i like the mood swing" i giggle softly and said" that makes one of us" evan look over his shoulder and notice the girls look pissed. evan gets up and said" you guys she is pregnant and moody and well come on you guys just leave her alone" the girls look at evan and smile and lean over and kiss his cheek one at a time and said" ok evie for you we will" i look at christian and mock" ok evie for you we will" christian bursted out laugh and hugs me. the girls walk away and evan look at me and said" angelica seriously you need to watch what you say, i am not going to be around all the time to help you, either is john or christian or ted or cody or daniel or justin or randy or eve or gail kim or anyone so please" i nod my head and lean and kiss his cheek and whisper" ok evie for you i will watch what i say" he smile and replied" thank you"

the moment i heard the doors open i see one of my favorite people in the entire world ted dibiase jr. he is another one i have gotten close to because of randy and the group legacy. i said" teddy" ted looks around for a moment and then he see me and walks over and hugs me and said" angel girl wow you are pregnant, i thought that was a crazy drunk story john cena came up with" i giggle and replied" no i am but i have not told you know who yet speaking of you know who is he here with you" ted whisper" yeah i saw him talking to john and alanna is with him and so is sam" i groaned and thought great there is no where for me to hide i usually stay in john locker room now where am i going to go. it was like evan read my mind and smile and siad" alex locker room you know randy does not like him for some reason, you like alex since he left the miz side and randy would never check in there" i smile and hug evan and said" you are a genius mr. bourne" he laugh and said" bourne evan bourne" he was doing the james bond thing and i laugh and hug him again.

me and evan decide that we were going to head toward alex locker room, evan was coming because i had no idea where alex locker room was. i heard a voice said" wow randy look like someone is pregnant" i knew the voice it was a voice i hated and a voice that had him and took him from me. evan notice the look in my eyes and rub my back and whisper" it is ok we are almost to alex room it is ok" then i heard the husky voice said" alex wait angelica u and alex" i heard the growl in his voice and i knew he was mad. randy said" oh my god sam was right you are a ho you sleep with alex, you are pregnant by alex you know how much i hate him you get mad at me for." he stop himself and i had tears in my eyes and i turn around evan grab my arm but i turn around and look at randy and slap him and said" i am not sleeping with alex, yeah i am pregnant FIVE MONTHS TO BE EXACT DO THE MATH" i run or at least try to and evan follows me where he finds me crying because a sound booth box thing and kneels down and hugs me.

john cena walks out of the locker room and said" damn it randy she is already moody enough now you calling her a ho of all things, you are such a selfish bastard." john look at sam and alanna and leaves. randy was froze five months he was going over those words in his head and then he remember five months that is when he push angelica out of his life for good. wait does she mean no she can't be pregnant with my kid that will make things harder. i pick up alanna who was crying and i rub her back softly as i walk back to my tour bus i only had it because sam was pregnant and she wanted to travel with me. i put alanna on her bed and tuck her in and sam look at me and said" five month what was that thing talking about". i sigh softly and replied" i do not know i do not care" sam nod her head and want to go lay down my match was on smackdown and raw was going first.

meanwhile john see me and evan and kneel down and hugs me softly and said" honey look how about after my match me and you go back to the hotel rent movies, order pizza and eat ice cream" i smile and nod my head and said" sound good" evan gets up and helps john help me up. after john match he had to go see a trainer since albert del rio hurt him pretty bad. i hope he was ok because there was no way i was going to be able to see randy again without telling him everything. i am not sure he would even care that i am carrying his child or i should said children that is the proper word for more then one. evan was so excited him and kofi had just defined and kept their tag team titles. evan was sitting by me since we had told eve that we would watch her match. it was her and aj cook vs alice fox and melina on smackdown first match of the smackdown card. evan rub my back softly and whisper" i know u are having twins so i thought of a name for you riley for the girl and ryan for the boy.i smile and replied" i will keep that in mind". a husky voice ask" can we talk" i knew who it was and my legs just automatic start bouncing like crazy. evan put his hand on my leg and whisper" everything is ok, let him talk i am going to go shower and then go get john and then we will get go ice cream and pizza and movies" i nod my head and evan left and randy walk over and sit down where evan just was sitting and said" is the kid mine?" i felt my blood start boiling thinking how dare he ask me is the kid his. i look at him and lean over and whisper" you are the only guy i ever slept with so unless my imagation boyfriend and i had sex and he get me pregnant then hell to yeah they are yours" randy look at me like he saw a ghost and said" kids you mean like more then one". i nod my head and said" try two i have twins and they are yours, i am not killing them and i am not giving them up for adoption, if you do not want me that is fine if u do not want them that is fine and both of them and me can do fine without you, i have for the past five months i think i can do it for the next 18 years" randy look at me and said" i had to leave you, i did not want to i had to it was what was best and it is what is best for alanna and sam is pregnant now to what do you want me to do?" i look at him and said" you made your choice that morning you walk out of my life, you never called or text or email" i look away so he would not see me crying i did enough crying over him for five months i was not going to do it again. he lean over and said" angel stop you know i hate when u cry" i push him and he fall out of the chair and said" do not you ever call me that only people that care about me and love me can call me that and if you hate see me cry so bad stop being a jackass" i get up and i walk and bump into evan and john. i look at them and said" can we go please" they nod their heads and we walk out of the arena.

we stop at the movie store and evan get some movies and then we went to get the pizza and the ice cream. i felt tears in my eyes as i knew i seem so strong but i was breaking apart the moment i slap him ok i take that back the moment i found out i was pregnant i had been crying. i had to make it look so easy that i was done with randy when it reality i was dying every day. when we get to the hotel i want to go change into some baggy pj pants and t-shirt. evan said "who movie is first night" i giggle softly since we had been doing the movie thing every night that we were all together one night it was john then me then evan. i look over and giggle and said" evie i think it is your turn" we walk over and sat down on the couch. we start eating pizza and watching movies for the rest of the night. john and evan fall a sleep but for me i get up and walk to the balcony as tears roll down my cheek. i could not walk, i could not keep the kids father interested in me. i was going to be a horrible mother. i put my hand on my stomach and said" i might not be the best mommy in the world but i love you guys and you guys will have all the love in the world i promise you"

then it start the worse pain i have ever felt in my entire life and there was dim light on over the balcony and i saw blood in my pants and i want back in side and shook john who did not want up. so i grab some ice cold water and pour it on evan and he jump and said" what the heck" he look and notice i look scared and said" what is wrong" i replied" we have to go to the hospital i am bleeding something is wrong" evan gets john up and we go to the hospital. the pain was so bad i was gripping the door handle and my knuckles were turning pure white.

15 mintunes later we get to the hospital and evan want to get the doctors and john gets in the back with me and said" ok move toward me do not worry you are going to walk i am going to carry you" i look at him like he was crazy and he look at me and said" move now you are carrying my nirece and nephew and something is wrong so move" i move and wrap my arms around his neck and he carried me inside where they had a bed and nurses and doctors all there and they took me to the back. evan was sitting in the waiting room and john was sitting and then here gets up. evan said" you are going to call him now, she is pissed at him he call her a ho, he left her for five months after sleeping with her do you honest think she is going to have enough energy to deal with him or if sam finds out to deal with her and him. john look over at the young man and replied" evan her kids are his kids, she is in the hospital with his kids something is serious wrong with her or one of his kids or both of his kids, he needs to be here for his kids, i will tell him we are at the hospital i won't tell him why i won't tell him that ill just tell him he needs to come down here alone" evan said" fine since her family is not here i am her brother this time or her cousin" john said" how about brother i will be back if a nurse or doctor comes, come get me". evan nod his head and sits back down.

john goes out side and walks to the other end of the hospital away from the er room doors and knew he was about to make a hard phone call.

meanwhile randy had just finish his match and was really sore and tired and him and sam just get into a fight when he gets out of the shower of his locker room. he flip the phone and said" cena what is it?" he was grump and tired. john replied" look i do not care what you have to tell sam i do not care what you have to do but get to the hospital right now". randy said" john i am tired i am sleepy i just into a fight with sam i am going to be sleeping on the couch on the bus". john growl softly and replied " damn randy, angelica is in the hospital she was bleeding pretty bad, something is wrong with her or your kids and if you do not care that is fine but i thought u were better then that i guess i was wrong" randy said" they are not mine john, if they were or are then she would have told me five months ago not wait five months to tell me." john replied" i remember five months ago you came back to your mom house later on the next morning after i left angelica to her house and you sat there and told me and liz you were leaving sam, you love angelica, she love you and your daughter and you knew most likely sam was cheating what happen to that randy i wnat that guy back because the one right now is a jackass" he hang up the phone.


	4. Chapter 4

chapter four

**two hours later **

john and evan are still in the waiting room but now there is ted, cody, christian, and eve and her other friends. plus john had called randy parents and told them knowing randy most likely would not and knowing that randy parents cared about angelica. john gets a idea knowing everyone was stressed out and he knew that angelica would not wanting anyone stressed out over her. she always put people before her and never lets someone put her before them. john said" i have a idea lets talk about the first day we meet angelica anyone want to go first" evan smiles softly and replied" can i?" john said "sure" evan said" ok it was house show two years ago anyways she was working at the radio station i was going to be doing a promo at, i saw her in her chair agruing with her boyfriend or some guy that was bugging her, she seem uncomfortable and scared so i get off the elevator and walk over and told the guy to leave her alone i do not think she knew who i was at first before she turn around i saw her big grayish blue eyes and i ask her if she knew where the radio room i had to be in was at and she smile and nod her head did not talk much until we get into the elevator and i told her who i was and she already knew and we talk and once we get to the place i had to be in i give her and sign the piece of paper i had in my hand" john laugh and replied" oh my god that was you, she would not shut up about it i tease her about it later on when she called me" evan said" yeah it was right when i was in the ecw when it came back anyways yeah" eve smile and replied" i remember when i first meet her we were at a st. louis show and she was backstage lost and looking for randy room at first i just thought she was just a ring rat that flirt with security or something anyways i told her that she should not be back here and she told me that she was there with randy like i said i thought ring rat until randy comes out and said angelica u get lost again i told you to stay with cody or ted but you are suborn she looks at him and replied but i was thristy and they only thing u guys drink is red bull, water, powerade i want a soda" john laugh angelica was define one of a kind. evan said" what about you? john when did u meet her"

john smiles and said " the first time randy join smackdown i was doing my rap gimmick making stacy or amy (lita) or one of the girls backstage laugh and i heard this girl crying and it is angelica. john stop and sigh softly and said" randy had ditch her for christy hemme i like red hair like the next guy but what she told me next made me so mad." everyone look at john and john said" he ditch her on her birthday" cody notice ted was being quiet and that was never a good thing when southern man like ted was raise was quiet. cody look over at ted and said" dude what is wrong" ted replied" his best friend laying in a hospital bed, we do not know what is wrong with her and she is pregnant with two kids that are his what the hell is" cody notice ted was just furious and cody look at him and said" ted you know randy is just having a lot going on" ted gets up from h is chair and said " smackdown is still going on i am going and make him regret this" cody get up an push ted back down and said" no you are staying here we are staying here" john heard the guys fighting and he knew why ted was mad and he did not blame ted since ted was a southern guy and he treat girls with respect and everything. john said" hey you guys have any stories about meeting angelica." cody said" yeah i remember it was my first night you know where randy slap my dad then the next week i slap him and we match and i lost that week and the next week, anyways she was talking to randy and i saw her and i thought she was pretty and she look near my age and anyways randy introduce us and we just talk and find out we had alot in common"

ted look at john and said" i remember when i first meet her"

flash back

janurary 12 2009 ted had just help cody and randy attack manu and sunka and he walks back and see someone sitting in randy locker room in a pair of cowboy boots and blue jeans and a shirt that was camo with "southern princess" on the front of it.

ted smiles and walks over and said" i am ted and you are?" the girl smile and replied" angelica i am randy friend i am just here because um on my birthday he was not able to get off of work so we are going to hang out to night for my late birthday" ted smile and replied" just friends? so does that mean you are single?" angelica nod her head and said " yeah just friends and yes but i am not really looking for a relationship right now" ted and angelica talk until randy comes out and then they leave to go celebrate her birthday.

end of flash back

cody look at him and siad" oh my god you like her" ted replied" shut up runnels" john said" dude you do like her i can tell i can tell that evan likes her to" ted sigh softly and said" yeah but i am married and unlike randy i would not hurt my wife or angelica as badly as he did sam might not know yet but she will" john said" ted do not do something stupid, i have told angelica if randy does not step up i will" ted said" do u like her" john replied" me and liz seperated, no one knows but angelica and now everyone here but i cant do that to her or him because i am both of their friends, you do not go after your best friend ex girl or girl at all, but i think at the same time it is her choice"

they had not heard anything about angelica so most of them went back to the hotel but for john and evan. later that night it was smackdown ted ask for a match against randy and he get it and he was really fighting not faking or anything take all of his angry out on randy. it took three security guards, cody, kofi, christian to pull ted away. they get randy to the trainer to check on him. cody and christian look at ted and said" angelica is going to be pissed i wonder who she is going to be pissed more at randy for the fact he was never at the hospital, you for the fact you just kick his ass" ted look at them and replied" i am tired of her crying over that idiot i am tired of us guys having to break up the pieces, i am tired of wanting to hold her and tell her everything will be ok and she just looks at me with sad eyes telling me stop lying everything is not going to be ok" cody and christian were both surprise they did not know that ted felt this strongly toward angelica.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter five

i woke up in a room under a powder blue blanket freezing cold what the hell i never get cold but at the moment i felt like i was in a freak icebox. my stomach was killing me worse then any time of the month cramps and shit. i did not feel anything kicking and it look like my stomach was back to being not thin but back to what i was before i get pregnant with the twins. i look around and see evan a sleep on the couch next to the window. john was on my right holding my right hand with his body in two chairs looking so uncomfortable. then i look to my left and froze and saw cody, ted, and christian. ted had burises on his face but he was holding my hand. i was looking for the iv i was the hardest person to stick in the world and then i touch my neck and they had put one in my neck. i thought _great just great after i get the iv out i am going to have burises where they try to start the iv then a burise where they get the iv. _i hope my kids were ok at the moment i did not have the heart to wake up anyone not knowing how long they had been there for me or how long they had been a sleep. i felt a thing in my hand and press the button and it was medince to make the pain die down a little bit. i groaned softly this was so much worse then female problem cramps. i was hungry and sore and uncomfortable and worried. all of this was not a good combination for anyone. i heard the door wristle open and look and it was like dawn of the dead no one move or open their eyes or anything. i was looking toward evan and ted and cody and christian and my head slowly move toward the door and stop. this morning was full of surprise it was randy. i could not speak it was like i lost my voice. i thought _please let him not be a jackass please let him have ask about our kids even if he hates me they are just innocent children. _i snap back to reality when i hear the growl in his voice and i knew he was mad. i thought _it is eight in the morning who could he be mad at, i thought guys get morning problems not angry issues. _i snap back to reality again when i heard his husky voice asking" what is he doing here." i sigh softly and said" which he, are we talking about evan, john cody, christian or ted or the imagenation one the voices in your head tell you i have" randy look at me with his ice blue eyes i hated when he look at me with thoses eyes. the same eyes he had when he punt someone in the head or rko someone. randy said" ted what is he doing here" i replied" he is here just like everyone else because they care about me and they are worried about me, which is alot more then i can see and say about the father of my children." randy look at me and said" do you really want to have this conversation with these five guys in the room really" i roll my eyes and softly sigh and said" it is dawn of the dead in here they are a sleep for one and for two are you really scared what they are going to do, are kids are in the incu or dead i do not know and you are worried about what they are going to do to you, i thought the big bad legend killer was not scared of anyone." randy growl and replied" i am not scared of anyone ted was ass last night and beat me nearly broke my leg" i look at him and said" i am sorry but you kind of brought it on yourself you knew how the guys were about me" randy growl and replied" ted is married are you sleeping with him to"

the moment he said that i wanted to jump out of bed pain or not i want to kill him. i said "leave now" randy replied" no i am here to check on you like john wanted me to, i am here to see if my kids are ok" i laugh and replied" so they are your kids now wow, L E A V E N O W" the moment i yelled john jump up and look over and notice randy and notice my eyes and sigh softly and replied " you always open your mouth and shovel your foot and make jackass come out" he look over at randy and looks at me and kiss my cheek and said" i am going to go see if the twins are ok and i will tell a nurse you are up" i nod my head as john and randy leave the room

randy look over at john and said" are the twins ok" john waited until the door was closed and said" they were born four months pregnant they are luck to be alive right now, i just do not have the heart to tell her." randy sigh softly running his hand over his hair and said" boys, girls one of each what" john said" one beautiful little girl and one tough little boy, so what happen to you, beside finding out angelica is in the hospital." randy said" ted last night on smackdown beat me up pretty bad" john walks to the incu with randy to let him see the kids and said" angelica is name them after i tell her that everything" randy nod his head and look at the little babies with tubes and wires and he felt his heart cracking. john said" i think she should name the girl miracle since it is a miracle the little girl is still a live or alive at all and the boy name emory or joseph i know twins should have like the same name or something but i think it would be better to make them different". john look at randy and randy said" how about miracle hope and ryan nickolas, john i have to go sam is pregnant as well and i think i should tell her the truth before she finds out from anyone else" randy walks away

meanwhile back in my room the boys were waking up and hugging me. they told me about the kids and part of me was happy that they were ok but the other half was scared that they were born so early that something could happen to them. evan said" so what are you going to name them?" i replied " i do not know yet i watch this i survived show once where this women was pregnant and she suffer through some stuff just to keep and save her baby which later toward the end of the show found out she name her miracle i thought that pretty and i guess if babies are born early it is a miracle if they make it, i think the girl should be miracle rosalie orton" evan smile and said" i like that name it is sweet" ted said" me to um angelica i am sorry i beat up randy last night it was just i was mad, he was at the arena, me and everyone else were here he should have been here with you and the kids, if he cares about alanna he should care about the twins as well" i nod my head and sit up and hug him and replied" i am not mad at you but ted you should let me handle randy, i am going to have to be civial toward him because of our kids but i appreciate what you did". cody replied" it took me, christian, and three security guards to pull him away" i giggle softly and replied" aww come here codebear" i give him a hug and said" thank you as well um can someone please go get me something to eat" christian gets up and said" i will let me guess not hospital food mcdonalds" i nod my head and replied" yes please" christian giggles and smile and said" anything else?" i replied" a chocolate or strawberry milkshake" christan smile and said "ok" he ask ted and cody if they wanted anything and they told him. christian walks out of the room and see john sitting out in the hallway and sits by him and said" i am going to go get food for the princess and evan told her about the twins, so if u are sitting out here because of that you do not have to worry" john sigh and nod his head and said" you know for four months she is going to have to stay here or stay around here because they wont be able to leave for a while i am not sure it is a good idea for her to be left alone because if she lose one of them and no one is around i am afraid we might lose her" christian said" i remember the day you call me an say angelica had cut her self do you remember what we did for like two months straight" john laugh and said" yeah we called her every two hours or after our matches and when one of us was injured we stayed with her" christian said" exactly so i know evan cant stay he is tagteam champion, i can't because in storyline with randy, you can't storyline with champion and cm punk and stuff, so it is either ted or one of your brothers" john nod his head and christian get up to leave.

meanwhile me and the guys were trying to come up with a name for my boy. ted said" how about emmett" i replied" emmett like twilight" cody and evan start laugh and said" dude you watch twilight?" i replied" guys shut up we watch it because a he was off of work the only one off of work near my birthday and b. leave him alone" ted giggles and stuck his tongue out at the guys and said" listen to pricelss princess" i giggle and replied" great use your old theme song on me" ted smile and get up to turn up the heat a little bit because we were all cold. i said "how about ryan matthew orton" ted look at me and said" why matthew" evan looks at me and laugh and said" no do not use matthew, everyone call a matthew mattie that is why i like evan better" i look over at him and giggle and replied" no boys do not have names that mean miracle and i like the name ryan and i like the name matthew" i stop for a moment and grin and cody notice this and siad" i thought randy grin was scary" i playfull pop him in the shoulder and asid" shut up i just thought of something how about kendall ryan matthews orton" ted turns and looks at me and replied "kandall like randall are you nuts" i said" thanks ted i like that name to" i roll my eyes and ted said" the medince they have you on is making you nuts" i replied" look if he is going to dien the kids that is fine but they are his weather he likes it or not" john walks in with a nurse and they ask what i was going to name the kids and i told him. john said" do you want to give them my last name or his" i look at him and said" either one is fine, i have to go potty" i get up slowly and walk toward the bathroom. john knew randy still had to tell sam and he knew sam was well a little pyshco bitchy. john said" both of them last name cena" the nurse type in it the computer and leaves the room and ted look at john and said" why" john replied" sam she is crazy and angelica has enough on her plate with the twins being here four months early, randy not being here or caring and everytime he is near he brings out the evil angry of angelica"

i sat in the bathroom not because i had to go well ok i did but that was not the only reason. i sat there as tear roll down my cheek and fiddle with my cell phone and text him.

" we have to be civil for them, i name the girl miracle and the boy kandall, i know being face to face right now we can't handle it but i do want you in their lives, i can't i don't, you know what it was like me when i was grow up i had my dad but i was always going from my mom house to my dad house back to my mom and i hate being at my mom house because my step dad was a perverted man,i do not want my little girl hate living with me, i am not saying we should be together but at least we should be friends for their sake and for mine, i miss my best friend, i miss the guy that made me feel special, i miss the guy that would lay next to me wrap his arms around me during a thunderstorm and tell me everything is going to be ok, i miss"

i froze as tears roll down my cheek and i whip them away as my hands were literally shaking at this point. i knew i need to finish this i have waited to have enough courage to tell him and i know i need to say it and lay it out on the line.

" i miss the person i am when i am with you, i heard a song by rascal flatt with nathasha bedingfield called easy, i realize that is me and you, i am going to admit it maybe you scared but i am always honest with you the truth is you do not know how hard how it is to make missing you and not wanting to jump in your arms look easy, it crushing me so as hard as this is going to be i am going to make it look easy to everyone else i have to let you go until you know i am the one"

i look and notice it was several texts long but i send it all and whip my face and splash water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. i sigh and come out and notice christian was back with food and the moment everyone see me. it was like everyone get quiet but i did not say anything and just walk over toward the bed and get back under the blankets. christian and the boys and i ate and did not say a word.

meanwhile randy was at the hotel pool with alanna and sam was on the bus and she notice the sound randy get a text message and she read it and decide to delete it. she gets on her computer since she know u could send a text that way through message and make it look like it was from the phone. sam knew it was from me and randy had just told her that he had slept with me a few months ago and had his twins.

sam type his number in the from slot and type my number to the to slot.

"angelica i do not love you or the twins, i felt sorry for you, you and everyone else throw that accident over and over in my face everytime i saw u i saw the accident in my head, i just slept with you to have another notch on my belt it was fun but that is all it was fun nothing else, me and you are not friends, i do not want to have anything to do with the twins or you ever again if you do not leave me alone i will press changes against you" sam hit send and then delete the progarm off the computer and shut the computer down and just lay on the couch of the bus.

meanwhile back with me, cody, evan and john had to go to promos and other things. christian had to go talk to teddy long about supersmackdown which left me and ted alone. ted was picking up the trash and throwing it away as my phone was beeping tell me i had a text message. ted hands me my phone and i press the button and i saw the number and smile. i thought _he wants to be civil he wants to be friends again i knew there was still a part of him that care about me" _ i sigh softly with the smile on my face and ted look at me and said" text from randy" i nod my head and replied" yeah um i text him when i was in the restroom ask if we could be friends not just for our kids sake but for mine as well i miss him you know." ted nod since he knew just like john knew how bad i miss randy. i open the text and read it and my smile disappear since everyone knew i hated pity and that was one thing you could say that would send me over the edge. i read it and my angry just took over and throw the phone and it smack the moment it hit the wall. ted look at me and i just throw the blankets over my head and cuddle in a little ball. ted walk over and picks up the phone and it was only the protector of the phone that broke and ted read the message. he put the phone down and walk over and lays beside me and said" princess hey talk to me" i replied" out of everything he could have ever said, i hate him i am glad they have john last name i hate RANDAL KIETH ORTON" i growl and ted just rub my back softly and my head and i just cried into his chest. he rub my back and i fall back a sleep and he just lay there.

a few hours later evan and john came back and notice ted in my bed watching sportcenter and he looks at them and said" read the message on her phone" john walks over and he knew my code word on my phone and he goes to the message and read it and look at ted and said" has she?" ted nod his head and replied" she was crying for a long time i guess she just fall a sleep i am done, he hurts her to much" evan reads the message and said" why does he do this, he makes her feel love and happy and safe then five months later he takes all that way for what, selfish pride" john shug his shoulders and said" he was here and he saw the twins you guys he look heartbroken there is no way in this world he would have said any of this, come on they were in the same car accident there is no way" ted replied" john who esle would have done it, hello it is randy number" john sigh softly as he run his hands through his hair and sigh.

meanwhile randy just get back from the pool with his daughter and he get her change and put her in the back room since sam left with one of the divas to go eat. randy said" baby girl i have to tell you something, you know how you are going to have a brother or sister soon" alanna nod her head and said" sissy yes bubba eww" randy smile and replied" yeah you have a sissy and bubba now" alanna look at him confused and he smile softly" you will see them and their mommy soon i promise" randy puts his daughter down for her nap and walk over and grab his phone and walks off the bus for a moment and dails my number.

meanwhile the guys left to go get snacks and movies and videogames. they had left the phone by me in case i need to call them or that i remember i wanted something and they would get it for me. i hit the green talk button not really paying attention to the caller i.d. i said" hello" a husky voice replied" hey it is me can we talk, me and" i hang up before he could finish. randy was surprise and thought _why did she just hang up on me. _randy calls back and i hit the ignore button this time. randy growl softly since it just want straight to voicemail. randy said" hey it is me i do not know why you hang up on me, i told sam and alanna about the twins, i want alanna to meet her half siblings, i was wondering if we could hang out like we use to, i miss my best friend the one that knew me better then anyone and most likely still does know me better then anyone, i have alot of making up to do i know i have not been the greatest guy friend or the greatest guy which is what u desreve a great guy, i will be better i promise just call me back please or text me, i love my angel and i miss her very much" randy hang up feeling tears since i never ignore his calls even when he did stupid things which there is a list about million miles long. my heart was racing the moment phone said you get voice mail. i know i could hit it and hear his voice and i would melt and i would make like crawl back to him and still be in love with him.

i just spin the phone on the table decide weather to listen or delete the message and weather or not i should call him back or not. i text back" you hurt me right now i think i am the one that needs space" i hit send and just look up at the ceiling. randy gets the message and was very confused.


	6. Chapter 6

chapter six

two days have past since randy call me and i text him and we have not talk since then. we were in my hometown little rock, arkansas and i was excited because my real dad was coming to see the twins and i was excited. john was getting ready for his match it was a house show and he was going against the miz. why i have no clue why they put him against the miz like there is no one else oh yeah there is i would love to see him and ted vs randy and i do not know who esle. yes i want someone big and bad to face randy and hurt him like he has hurt me. i know i should not want bad things to happen to my children father but he was not really being a father. i just get a day pass to leave the hospital for a few hours which i was thankful for. i was sitting in the car with john cena, evan

bourne, alex riley and john morrison. john cena was driving and i was in the chair beside the driver seat and the boys were in the back. john said" i am against the miz" alex replied" i am against dolph ziggler for the united state champion" the other two did not know who they were going up against. evan said" are the kids ok" i replied" they are on breathing machine and they are a pound and a few ounces but i believe they will be ok" john cena replied" duh they will be fine they have a strong mother and a strong family" i nod my head not really in the mood to talk. evan notice this and was sitting behind me and i felt his hands on my shoulders and gentle rub them and i knew he was trying to make me relax. when we pull up to the arena i was just hopping not to see randy or sam. evan said" ok do you think fans will know it is me like this" i turn and laugh softly since he was wearing a black hoodie and a baseball cap and sun glasses. john said" why" i replied" nothing he is coming with me" we went to the place to get drinks and stuff and i get me a soft preztel and a funnel cake and a coke. the moment i paid i heard a little voice" minster minster are you evan bourne" i giggle softly and turn to see this big blue eyed little boy must have been four maybe five looking at evan. evan smile and nod his head softly and did the signal to be quiet. the little boy giggles softly and look at his mommy and said" mommy it is him" i look up and notice the women was about my age. the women said" can you take a picture we tried to win meet and greet and it did not work" evan nod his head and replied" sure" the girl look at me and said" wait you are um angelica randy friend right" i nod my head and the little boy said" you are pretty you can take picture with us" i smile and put my pretzel in my purse and put the drink and cake down. we took pictures and evan sign the kid's book that said the matches and things about the wrestlers. we wave and let the kid and his mom go and i look at evan and said" aww you are so good with the fans" evan replied" yeah come on i love my fans without them i would not be here and be doing things i love" we head back to where everyone was.

everyone was doing the meet and greet and evan went to go do that and i was in catering room. eve walks into the room and hugs me and said" hey how are you? how are the twins?" i hug her and replied" i am ok i mean i am a little sore and they are little but i have faith that they will make it" eve sits down and said" so have you talk to the sperm donor." i laugh softly and replied" we talk two days ago but it was not much and i am not talking to him for a while, he had his spaces i am getting mine at least for mine and the kids sake if he cares he can come around i am not forcing him" eve look at me and hug me and said" angelica i know you miss him" i replied" eve he was my best friends for so long that not having him around makes me feel empty" eve hugs me again and stagemanger calls her and she has to leave, so once again i am alone with my thoughts. my phone start going off and i look at the caller i.d. and sigh softly and press ignore. i was not ready to talk to him at least not yet. i could not get his text message out of my head or the voice mail and it was making me all confused. a few seconds later there was a beeping noise telling me that i had a voicemail. i decide i would listen to it later when i was alone or just later. i just sat there and drum my fingers against the plastic table.

five minutes later the phone makes the ringing noise and i look at the caller i.d. and it was ted but i was not sure if it was really ted or if it was randy who stole ted phone just to talk to me or to get to me to talk to him. a few seconds later there was another voice mail and i did not know if it was randy or ted. the next ten minutes it happen two more times with christian number and cody. i felt like smack my head against a wall not knowing who it was again all four times. evan, john morrison, alex riley and john cena all walk in and notice my phone making a noise and said" get the phone" i look at them and replied" it is him i am not talking to him after what he text me and told me and then voice mail me and beside i am not sure if it him, since he might use ted, cody or christian phone i am not talking to him" evan said" i bet it was really ted because after ted beat randy up i am not sure they are talking after that, cody will he would give randy the phone if randy lied and christian most likely the same thing" john cena said" you are talking to him after we are done here, no ifs, ands, or buts" i look at him and said" johny i do not want to talk to him, i do not want to deal with him until i am ready he had five months without me and space that he wanted i should be able to have that, i am not asking for much i am just asking for some time" john sigh softly and replied" you did not see the look on his face when he saw the twins, he look heartbroken and scared, the same pain i saw and heard when you guys were in the accident" i replied" he throw that accident in my face, i never done that and i am tired of people throwing it in my face" the guys had to go get ready for matches and stuff so i decide to go watch the matches. during cm punk and r-truth match my phone rings and it was daniel bryant. i press talk button and said" daniel why are u calling me" daniel replied" angelica randy needs to talk to you please he is drinking and we all know that is not a good thing so please just talk to him or listen to him" i sigh softly _great he is being stupid and drinking why the heck. _then i heard the husky voice said" angelica please tell me why are you not talking to me, what did i say or do i will take it all back if i can you know that so just talk to me." i laugh and said" are you serious you know what you did, you throw the accident in my face, you throw the you just "slept with me" because you pitied me you know that word pisses me off, then you act like u never done anything in the first place, you made your choice now you have to live with it" i hang up as i heard tears rolling down my cheek not wanting to cry on the phone to him. i just look back at the tv not really interesting in the cm punk or r-truth match but oh well it was giving me something to watch and help me not think about him.

evan walks toward me back in his street clothes and said" are you ok" i did not notice my eyes were red and puffy but i nod my head and replied" yeah i am fine the twins are fine life is prefect" evan look at me but did not say anything as we just sat there and watch matches. both john won their matches and alex did not win but it was a house show so i was kind of not surprise but i was very annoyed by vickie.

the moment we get in the car i decide to listen to the voice mails randy had grab cody and christian phones so i delete them. i press two and it went to ted message and this is what it was and said " _hey it is me ted or teddybear anyways i have been thinking alot lately me and kristen get into a fight and i think it is over and me and you get along and i was wondering if maybe you would like to go out on a date? call me or text me when ever i know it will be a while but i am always here beautiful priceless princess" _i blush and hit 9 to save for now. i was in the back seat waiting for the boys to come out. john morrison was hurt bad and john was sore. evan and alex were just tired, so i decide i would drive. john cena would not hand me the keys which was getting on my last nerve that i am surprise i still even had. evan, john morrison and alex riley said"dude give her the keys now we are tired and sore" john just look at them and then at me and climbs in and hands me the keys. i start the car and i was sore as well but john get slam down several times and fall out side the ring to the hard floor. i pull up to the hotel figuring i would drop them off first and who ever was going to stay with me tonight could drive or i could drive us both back to the hospital. it was only eight o'clock and i had to be back by nine so i had a hour to kill. the boys decide to flip a coin of who was going to stay with me. i roll my eyes and just sat there and thought _a little childish don't we think being in middle to late 20s and earlier 30. _i did not say much as i was thinking about the message ted had left me. i sent back into reality when i heard" you cheat, nah uh i did not cheat you can't cheat flipping a coin you just flip it" i roll my eyes and was about to hit my head on the wheel as my hands were gripping it tightly. now i was tired, sore, hungry, confused, upset, happy, mad, and worried and these idiots were fighting over a flipping flip coin game really. i growl softly thinking _ did i just say really like the miz oh my god. _i grab the coin and throw it out the window. the boys all said" hey" i replied" listen up i have a number in my head 1-10 who ever is close or gets it is the first one to stay here and then we will do it three more times the last person here goes, everyone else goes in the hotel get it" they all nod their heads and we play three times. it was down to evan and alex which both boys were fun to hang out with. i said "ok pick a number 1-10" alex said "8" evan replied "3" i sigh softly and said" sorry alex it was two evan is going and you guys will see him tomorrow when you guys go to Oklahoma." i sigh realize for the first time that day i was going to be left alone but i shook the thought out of my head since i was not alone i had my kids and they needed me. the guys get out and me and evan went back up to the hospital.

author note: i just reread the house show part i won and holy fing cow. i wrote that before i want to the show and i put both johns won and alex lost ok at the houseshow that is what really happen. i can tell the future lol. the only thing that did not happen was vickie making alex lose vickie was not even there.


	7. Chapter 7

chapter seven

the next morning i woke up before evan and just look out of the hospital window as the sun was coming up. two hours later i get a text from both john, christian, ted, cody, alex,eve, and a few others good morning. i replied all back and said morning. a little while later evan woke up and said" good morning" i replied" morning" evan said" look i know you are scared to be alone, we are scared to leave you alone but listen we are all just phone calls away and planes away and well today a few hours away but listen we are here for you and the kids no matter what" i sigh thinking that makes me feel a little better.

a hour later evan had to leave to head toward the next town with the guys. i look at my phone and then set it down. my life was complicated right now did i really want to add more to my plate with ted in the mix. i decide to go see the twins and i walk in and see them and said" hey babies mommy loves you guys mommy wishes she could make you guys better and take you guys away from here" i realize at that moment either when we will the hospital we were going to have to find a place, stay at my dads or live on the road and with their health as bad as it was now i was thinking it would have to be find a place or live with dad.

**four months later**

the twins werehealth at five pounds four ounces. the guys called me every day to check on me and on them. me and ted talk or text all the time but i was not still sure if i should jump or not. i knew right now sam was seven months pregnant with her and randy little boy. john had told me well he accidently sent me the text that told me. i look at my daughter who has her father eyes and his tan skin an i look at my son and saw the smile, the skin and the hair, they look like their father. how can when they are older i look them in their eyes and said" daddy is not here daddy did not want you." in the moment right now in my head the words sound bad and make me want to vomit. it was august 29 which meant tonight was raw and tomorrow night was super smackdown seeing randy going against christian in a cage again in my head i knew it was bad to wish something bad happen to their father but at the same time i was thinking if something bad did happen maybe he would understand. i was in the nursery where they came the babies and then all of a sudden codes were going off and they were pushing me out of the room and i knew who it was kandall since he had more problems then miracle. i felt scared and sad and i did not even notice someone walking over and wrap their arms around me. i just crumble in the person arms and cried as he just held me to his body. no one knew this during the four months i had been working on walking again and i was doing good for the most part. then i heard the voice and it was southern and i look up to see blond hair blue eyes and it was ted. he just rub my back and said" he is fighting he fought four months he fight this long he know you love him, he will be fine" they rush him to incu and they told me i could go back in and they would come get me when they knew something about kandall since they were just nurses. i get up and grab ted hand and said" come on there is a little angel you have to meet" . ted nod his head and walks in with me as i gentle pick up miracle and said" this is miracle and miracle this is ted, do not worry he might have muscles and look scary but he is just a soft teddy bear, i know cute nick name huh" ted smiles and laugh as he just stares at me and i was not pay attention to him but to my little girl in my arms as small as a little baby doll. ted sits down and said" angelica i have been thinking we could go out tonight" i replied" i can't i promise the guys i would watch raw you know spirt support" ted nod his head and said" ok then look tomorrow night i am going to be on super smackdown, i need ok i do not need i want you to be there please" i replied" ted i can't face him, i have not talk to him in four months what do i say or what do i do" ted kneel down and said" you do not have to say or do anything look you can come in my locker room you know me and cody share, please i promise i will bring you back here afterward i will get take out food from where ever and we can sit out side in the hospital park" i nod my head and said" ok" ted smiles and took a picture on his phone and puts my girls under the picture. i did not notice that he did this as i look back at miracle and her grayish blue eyes like mine and felt a pull at my heart. her brother had to be ok they were a set they were my kids and i do not know what i would do if anything bad happen to them. i put miracle down when she fall a sleep and me and ted walk out of the room and walk back toward my room which was not in the hospital but it was where family stayed if they had a paitent in a coma it was like a mini apartment just no rent. i was worried about kandall so worried that i was not pay attention and ted grab me before i fall. i look up at him and he look at me and said" stairs" i look down and notice i almost walk off the stairs not pay attention. we went back to my room and we laid down looking up at the ceiling. i knew ted had to go soon but at the moment having someone there with me for the first time in the past four months felt nice. i currled up next to him as he rub my back and head softly and i fall a sleep in that position.

a few hours later i woke up and saw ted holding miracle and smile as i slowly sit up. ted said" you are so cute baby girl, i do not see how your dad could hurt your mom, or you or your brother but i promise i am not going to you or your mom or your brother, i have like her since the first moment i saw her i was just to much of a chicken and married to do anything about it, but i am thankful your mommy is giving me a chance i am going show her not all southern guys are donkeys" i try not to make a noise but it was so cute and i giggle softly. ted was the only one beside me that consider missouri still southern. i get up slowly and grab my camera and took a picture of ted and miracle and saved it on my phone. i walk over and said" well isn't this just priceless." i giggle and ted laughs and smile when he see me and said" sorry you were a sleep and the nurse brought her by and she was crying and" i giggle and replied "it is ok how is kandall" ted said" the nurse said he is fine he just had a fever and they have back on the breathe machine for a while but he will be ok" ted hands me miracle and said" look i realize that supersmackdown is not anywhere near here and i know u are worried about kandall so you do not have to go but i promise when i get back i am all yours, i told hunter i need some time off to see if me and kristen could work on our problems but i am not going home, me and kristen are getting separated, so i will be here for you, miracle and kandall" i nod my head as the phone vibrate in my pocket and i pull it out and said" hello no because i do not want to see her and i do not wnat her to meet them no dad i swear if you dad darn it dad why never mind ok bye" i hang up the phone and just toss it to the bed. ted said" let me guess your dearest mother is coming" i nod my head and ted sigh and kiss my forehead and said" it will be ok"

two hours later i heard her voice i swear i heard dogs barking and babies crying. ted went to go get us something to eat and the nurse had came to get miracle, so at the moment it was just me and her. i did not ever call her mother after the age of 13 it was always my guardian. mom love their kids, mom support their kids but she did not do that for me. she just put me down and made me lose my confident and self worth. she look at me and everyone told me that we were twins or that we could not be mother and sister since we look so much alike that we had to be sisters, i swear if i hear that one more time i am going puke. she said" i knew you would not tell me that you had kids" i thought had it is have they are live not dead. i replied" they are alive mother, they are miracles and they are mine" she said" they are four months early it is your fault they are early you should not had children in your condition" i want to slap her, punch her run her over with my wheelchair that i was not in anymore but still these were most of the thoughts going through my head. i look at her and said" i have them, i love them, my condition you do not know my condition, you left me the moment i decide wrestling was something i wanted to make a career out of, i am not the prefect little 5"9 red hair green eyes pale freckle skin thin tooth pick model looking chick like faith, i am not the husky chubby lazy ass -thirteen year old little boy name landon, this is my life, you can't control me anymore" i look at her and she walk over and slap me and said" how dare you talk to me like that, do you know when you had a broken bone who was there every night and day in the hospital with you, me. who was the one taking you to doctors and everything me, not your father, not the damn wrestlers but me" i touch my face and said" yeah but my kids will know love and affection, they will know that if they make a mistake i am always going to be here for them, you never let me learn anything on my own it had to be your way or it was wrong, you never showed me love or affection" she push me down and start kicking me and hitting me. i was not strong enough to fight her back. then i heard ted voice said" stop it leave her alone i will call security" she kick me again and look at him and said" i am done with her tell security dont forgot to take out the trash" she walks out and ted walks over toward me and kneel down beside me and said" angelica" i replied" i am fine" i slowly get up and it hurt so bad to move but i had to. ted went to get a first aid kit and a nurse to check on me. i just sat in the room and cried. i was not really surprise that she beat me but i was her first born child. she act like she never loved me at all. ted comes back and cleans my cuts and the nurse saw me and look me over and told me i need to get check out and i told her that i would. me and ted ate and did not say much

later that night ted left because he had to be at the supershow for tomorrow. i just lock the door when he left and just walk over and lay on my bed and look up at the ceiling as tears roll down my face. randy did not love me or our kids it seem since he had not seen them since four months ago. my mom just beat me and it seem like she did not give a damn. i felt so alone and unloved that i just curled up in bed and cried my self to sleep. the next morning i woke up and i showered and i get dressed. i decide to go on my facebook and i notice i had a few messages from" people" they were fake names john and everyone came up with for themsleves. randy was the only one who decide to be real meaning real name real pic real everything. i go to randy status and it said"

have you ever miss someone so much it was killing you inside, nine months two weeks and a few hours ago i woke up next to the most beautiful girl in the world after spending the night with her and i just left her in her home confused upset and alone, five months ago i found out she was pregnant with my twins and two days later i get to see them and they were so tiny that it scared me that i could actually lose them, i already lost their mother because of my stupidity i did not think she desreve to lose them as well because i know she is a good mother and i know she is a great person, it is four months i do not know if my twins are ok, i hear pieces and bits from my friends who are also her friends so you know that i hear that i am a jackass all the time".

i felt tears in my eyes this was personal note randy wrote on his face book and he was never really personal on facebook about anything going on in his life beside wrestling. i look back at the note

" this morning my wife eight months pregnant and we just had our little boy liam Nathaniel orton as i held him, i wonder how my son with the beautiful women is, i wonder does he look like me, i wonder does he even know my name, i wonder alot of things. angelica i love you i know you hate me for what i did but please just talk to me, i told you me and alanna wanted to come see them and you hang up on me so please reply to me, text me, call me, something please."

i thought _he does not know why i am mad he said he pities the night we slept together and the accident and me, he does not know why i am mad. _

i click on my page and went to my status my twins are doing good thanks for keeping them in your prayers everyone to their father you said you pitied me that is why we were together and you said other hurtful things congrates on your little boy, the prefect family one of each and married big house. i just post it and sign off. ten mitunes later my cell phone ring i knew who it was. i lean over and press talk and said" hello" the voice sound calm just like it gets out side before a storm comes and that freak me out. i look at the called i.d and it was randy so him being calm was scary. randy said" when?" it was one word but it sent chills down my spine and goosebumps over my arms. i replied" when what?" randy growl and said" do not playing fing stupid with me, when did i say what you said i said on facebook"i replied "the day you call me and said you want to come up with alanna you text me a hour or so before that and said all that crap, i was honest with you randy about my feelings how i felt about you, and you had the balls to throw the accident in my face, i never did that to you not one damn time but you throw it is in my face like it some card that gets to be throw and played when you feel like throwing it and playing it in my face that is why i needed the space, you hurt me i had no walls protecting my heart after i was honest with you and you hurt me" i felt tears in my eyes and my voice start to sound cracky and i was begging that he did not hear my voice. randy said" i never ever throw that in your face, angelica i never once thought that in your face do realize everytime for six months or so after that accident how bad i felt, i did not want to tell you how i felt about you, because i hated my self so much for putting you in that chair, you loved wrestling you loved the traveling you loved everything and i took it away from you, you told me never to pity you and i could not help but pity you sometimes but i never ever said what you just said"

i was getting mad and said" go to hell you are such a lair" i hang up and i found the messages and i sent him what i said and what he said and put at the end of it and said" do you remember now" i hit sent.

i felt sick to my stomach because all of the crying i had been doing so i grab my jacket and head out the apartment just to get some fresh air. i promise my boys i would watch supersmack down. i mean i had to see christian and randy in a john cena and wade were the first match. my phone was buzzing in my pocket which means someone message me from my yahoo. i was not in the mood to talk to anyone at this point, i was to upset and mad. i just had alot on my mind with randy, the kids, ted, my mom and just everything else. the buzzing did not stop and it was start to annoy me. i pul it out and notice it was my friend whitney and sigh softly since she was telling me about her and her boyfriend. this is how weird our friendship is when she is happy i get depression or i am in the depression state of mine when i am happy then she is in the depression state of mind.

whitney: hey girl

me: hey

whitney: i saw on facebook the twins are ok that is great so when are they going to get to go home

me: a month or so i am not really sure at this moment

whitney: so you?

i roll my eyes and sigh softly knowing exactly what she was asking but at the moment i did not really want to talk about my guy problems or any of my problems.

me: me? well i am single, i am a mother of twins, the father is i do not know the deal with him anymore, i do not want to talk about it

whitney: me and sean are great.

i roll my eyes and just touch the screen and sign out of yahoo because at the moment i just not sure i could talk to her without snapping of all my angry that was in me. a hour later i walk upstairs to my apartment and lay on the couch. i pull my laptop from under my bed and sigh softly and i check my mail and i get a message from a dating website. i knew i had tons of guy issues at the moment but there was no harm in just reading the message that was sent to me. i click on the link and it want to his profile. he was ok looking guy with blue eyes. but i decide just to read the message so i go over to the log in area.

the message said you have a beautiful smile. i am a kind sweet guy and i am kind of shy because i never talk to such a beautiful women before. i smile and blush softly but i just read the message and the end of the message said his name was michael. he was on so i click on the chat buttom and we start talking and then we move it over to yahoo and talk until it was time for me to get off to go watch supersmack down.

i watch supersmackdown and i was happy seeing my boys since i have not seeing john in a while or christian. the supersmackdown main event randy and christian. i was literally at the edge of my seat. it was a great match and then randy won and then i see mark henry and i knew things were about to get really bad and there was nothing i could do. when it was over i knew i was mad at him hell i was furious at him but i still had to know if he was ok or not. i called john and he pick up and said" hey i was just about to call you" i replied "is he ok"john said " i do not know i mean he get pretty banged up, but he is randy come on now you know he is tough and he is ok" i said " john all that stuff he text do you think he is the one that text me?" i had doubts in my heads but i did not know who else would have done this. john said" baby girl i know randy for almost 12 years, i know his character on tv sometimes is a butt hole i know his personality on tv is evil but you and i both know that is not him off camera, off camera he is a nice amazing would not let his friends down kind of guy so do i think he sent all that shit no, i honestly think it was sam, she was always jealous of you two and the accident just made her jealous worse so tell me do you still love him?" i sat there for a moment and replied" the truth part of me still get butterfly when he calls or text me even through i am so pissed at him but the other part of me does not want him the other part thinks i should move on i do not know what to do john help me" john said " remember what my mom, randy mom, your dad, my dad randy dad use to say all the time" i laugh and said" follow your heart the heart never leads you the wrong way" john said" exactly, my heart leaded to me liz and i love her we had our problems but now we are back together and things are great, now randy heart right now i am not sure what he is thinking but i know everytime me, evan, christian, ted or cody say your name the boy lights up like it is christmas morning" i laugh softly and said " thanks john um i have to go i am going to go see the twins before i go to bed" i hang up the phone with alot on my mind.


	8. Chapter 8

chapter eight

after getting off the phone with john i walk over toward the hospital into the nursery and saw my son and my daughter. i said" you guys mommy is so confused, part of her knows that daddy would not say anything like that but the other part is not so sure, she wants to be fully sure about this because she does not want to put you guys in a bad situation, so ill make a deal kendall if you move or anything i call your daddy right now and let him explain or talk and miracle if you move or anything i will not call your dad and i will go out with ted and give ted a chance" kendall move first his leg a little bit and sigh and smile softly" ok baby boy a deal is a deal i love you" i kiss his forehead softly and walk over and kiss miracle forehead and walk out of the nursery with the phone in my hand. i was pacing when i walk out of the nursery and then down the hall back toward the apartments, which was right across the street. the moment i walk into the apartment my heart was racing so fast and i had not even heard the man voice yet. i want to the telephone looking thing and press the button and then when to contacts and press ran and it want to randy and i press it and it called him. i hope he pick up because if sam did i was not sure i could watch what i say and how i said it. then i heard the sweetest little voice saying" hewo" i giggle softly since i knew it was alanna. i replied" hey cutie can i talk to your daddy" the little girl voice giggles and said" ok howd on" i giggle and replied "ok" a husky voice said" hello" i replied "hey it is me i was checking on you" randy said" angelica?" he sound surprise which i did not really blame him i mean come on i am the one that said i need space and did not talk to him for four months. i said" yes randall it is me like i said i was calling to check on you" randy replied" i am fine just a little sore look i get a few days off i was thinking me and alanna could come see you and the twins, we do not have to talk it just they are her siblings they have a right to know her and she to know them" i said" i know but when you do come we need to talk" randy replied "ok" randy hang up the phone and smile softly and looks at alanna and said" ok you know about the siblings i told you about" alanna nod her head and said" yea daddy" randy replied" we are going to go see them me, you, your brother and your mom are going to go see them" alanna said " yay" randy smile and picks up his daughter and they head to his rental car and drove to the hospital where sam and their baby was at. randy picks up alanna and carries her in when they get to the hospital and puts her gentle down on the couch bed next to the window and looks at sam and said" we are going to see angelica" sam replied" like the hell we are, i am not having my children anywhere near her or them" randy said" they are my kids to and her kids are my kids to, sam weather you like it or not she is involved in my life and in the my son life and my daughter life" sam said" if you think for one moment i am going to let that happen i will go to court and get sole custody of the kids" randy said" good luck with that sam, i am good father i have always been there for my child and i am going to keep being there for my children and i am going to be there for her kids since they are my kids as well i have not been there for them for the last four months but that is going to change" sam look him and said" her kids are not yours come on now she spends alot of time with john, evan, ted, christian, and cody and alex and alot of others how do you know they are yours" randy said" because angelica has never once lied to me in the entire time i have known her" sam replied" it is easy to lie randy" randy said" what does that mean sam" sam replied" i am just saying you might want to get a test to see if they are yours"

the next day i was at the hospital with the twins holding kendall since he was doing alot better and held him and said" guess what buddy your daddy is coming to see you and your sister and bring your sister and your brother with you, i know that makes no sense now but i will explain to you when you are a little older trust me, you and miracle are older then your brother but your sister is older then all three of you" i heard a voice behind me saying "randy is coming" i froze knowing that voice and slowly look over my shoulder and see ted and put kendall down for a moment and walk over and hug ted and said" yeah ted i appreciate it all the things u have done for me being here and everything but part of me has always belong and will always belong to randy" ted smile softly and kiss my forehead and replied" i understand but just know that i would treat u like the princess you truly are" i smile softly and said" ted thank you look i was wondering and you can say no if you want, but randy is coming and i am not sure if he bring sam and i am not sure if i can handle this alone and i am not sure i can be careful with my mouth around her" ted laughs and said" let me guess you agree with john you think it was sam as well" i replied" i really do not know but i do not like her and i know she dont like me and if randy brings her i know i am going to need someone on my side to calm me down" ted said" of course i will stay for you" i replied thanks tedbear"

**two hours later **

i see the light brown hair blue eyed little girl and behind her, i see her mother and randy and randy carrying a car seat. i said" yeah he could come he said just him and alanna looks like he brought everyone, he should check with me first" ted laugh softly and said" at least he is here now honey" i nod my head and replied" i know" alanna smile and said" tedbear" she giggles and runs and ted picks her up and said" hey ally bear" i laugh softly and look at randy and he looks at me. sam said" i am going to ask since he wont are the kids really his" ted puts alanna down and he look at my eyes and they were not blue anymore they were black with a ring of green. ted walk over and wraps his arms around me and look at sam and said" what are u doing here, she said he could bring himself and alanna he did not say anything about you" sam replied" i am his WIFE not her and i have HIS kids not her" i wanted to slap her, punch her something that was going to make her suffer with pain. the only good thing was ted had a tight not really tight but tight enough grip that i could not get loose and that was the only thing beside that little girl standing by ted. randy growl and said" sam" sam replied" what" i said" you know i am done i do not need this drama for my children or for me, randy you said you and alanna i respect that i cant do her here as well" sam said" yeah because u sleep with everyone and the kids are not his." i said" randy you better get her out of my face or i swear the moment ted lets go i am going to do something i will regret" randy look at me and he notice that i was serious and he slowly grab sam and they walk away and ted lets go. i said" hey alanna do you want to come with me and see your brother kendall and your sister miracle" she nod her head and i smile and pick her up and carried her to the nursery and put her in front of the window so she could see them since she was not allowed in the nursery. alanna said" they are little" i replied "yeah" i was mad randy did not say anything that i was standing up or that i could walk or anything but i decide he could say whatever in his own time. a few moments later we want back to where ted was and he was talking to randy. i pull alanna to me so we did not interrupt i was interest in what they were talking about. ted said" she pick you, i ask her out and she said you were coming to day and she pick u and frankly only god knows why" randy replied" ted dude look i am sorry ok i am idiot but sam is gone" ted said" good she took alanna to see the siblings" i walk over and said" we are back" randy replied" oh my god you can walk" i said" yeah i have been working on that four months now almost five it hurts a little bit but pain makes you stronger" alanna went over to sit with ted and me and randy walk to the nursery and did not say a word to each other. we stood out side the nursery and i pick them out and he smile and said" they are bigger then the last time i saw them" i replied " yeah miracle is almost six pound and kendall is about five pounds when they both get to seven they said i could take them home" randy said" kendall" i replied" yeah like randall i thought it was a good idea" randy sits down and said" the text i read the whole thing and i am sorry but you have to believe me i never said any of that i swear on alanna on my self on everything i never said that i love you and i never would say that i swear" i look at him and said" randy how are we going to do this, sam putting her two coin in now how are we going to do this when they are older" randy replied" i do not know ok i have a three day old son, i have a four month son, a four month old daughter and two year old daughter and two women i love like crazy" i just look at him and said" i hate to say it because you will go all viperness on me but i think it was sam" randy look at me and replied" what" i said" the text from your phone i think it was sam" randy said" come on you honest think sam" i said " randy think about it she hates us being friends, she throw her two cents out there about the kids, they are yours i never slept with anyone you are the only guy i have ever slept with" randy look at me and the next thing i know my hand connect with his face when i slap him. randy said" i still want a dna test" i slap him and get up and walk away and walk over to ted and said" i will go out with you" ted smile and replied" ok we will go out soon" i nod my head and i walk back to the apartment.

**two days later **

the nurses were doing the dna test. sam look happy like she had got away with something i wanted to slap that smile off of her face but i decide to go against my wants. then i get a idea in my head and smirk. ted notice this and said" that is not a good sign you are smirk" i look at him and said" the bitch open her mouth about my kids i bet you the little boy is not his" ted look at me and said" dont please" i look at him and replied" no she is lying to him it is a feeling i have and i am not going to let him live a lie" i walk over toward the nurse and i told her and she look at me since she like me and she had known me since i was four year old. she just nod her head and test the little boy of theirs as well. i walk over and ted just look at me and said" you are bad" i replied" do not mess with a mother that will do anything for her kids because she will f your world up" ted smile and a few hours the nurse walk back in to the room and said" the results of miracle and kendall is randy keith orton you are the father" i get up and walk over toward him and said" told you but i guess you will have to feel what karma feel like" i walk away and the nurse said " in the case of liam nathaniel orton" sam look at me and i look at her and mouth" karma is a bitch" the nurse said" in the case of liam nathaniel orton randy you are not the father" randy said" wait no i am the father that is my little boy" the look on his face nearly knock the wind out of me and i wanted to beat sam for hurting him and then i realize it was not sam that hurt him it was me since he was just told the truth. the nurse took the twins back to the nursery and me and ted get up. sam said" you bitch how dare you" i turn around and replied" how dare i? really? sam i am not the one that cheated on my husband, i am not the one that sent a very evil text message acting like it was from my husband to one of his best friends, so how dare i? look at yourself in the mirror honey ask yourself the question". randy look at sam and said" did you text angelica acting like it was me? did you real cheat on me?" i could hear his voice cracking and i could feel my hands tighting into fists wanting to hit her. sam said" she is a lair, she just wants you randy she is trying to make me into the bad guy i am your wife" i replied " who clearly cant keep her legs closed" sam walks over toward me and slap me and i was about to punch her until ted grabs me and randy grab her. i said" i have been taking care of the kids my self for the last four months randy i think i can do it for the next 18 years stay with her" i walk away and i realize i had a necklace on that he had give me with the words" friends forever always carrying my heart where ever you go" i rip it off my neck and walk back and hands it to him" i cant carry someone heart anymore if they dont care about mine"

**a week later **

john was coming to see me and i was so happy to see him. john said" how is my little mira and kendall" i giggle and replied" they are both ok they will be able to go home soon, randy is here with sam and alanna and liam" john look at me and said" what" i replied" yeah she slap me i almost punch her, ted stop me we had a dna test for liam, kendall and miracle, randy is the father of the twins like duh we all knew that but he is the not father of liam" john just sat down and said" wow" i replied" i know, all i wanted to do was hug him and tell him i am here, but he is the one that said we had to do a dna test for the twins he pick her again over listening to me, i am tired of being second chance so i basically give him the necklace back and i am going to go out with ted" john said" wow" i look at him and sigh softly and replied " what? you are saying wow so what is it?" john said" he loves you, he needs you now more then ever he just found out his wife cheated on him, his son liam is not his" i replied" damn it john tell him not me he is the one that has made this whole thing complicated he shouldnt have slept with me that night if he was still with the slut" i was mad and upset and john walk over and hug him and gentle rub my back and said" ok i am sorry i know this has been hard on you, it just i have seen him angelica this is killing him as much as it is you."

meanwhile randy and sam were at the hotel and little liam and alanna were a sleep and randy was not in the mood to talk. sam said" randy liam is four days old they could not really do a dna test on him and beside that nurse favor her, i bet you it was all a lie" randy look at her and replied" no it wasnt i had her nurse doing that then i had another nurse doing another test when you left, her kids are 100% mine" sam said" then why do they have john last name?" randy replied" because john was protecting angelica and the kids from you, god i am so stupid i choose you over her, she is a better mother to alanna and to her own kids then you ever are" sam look at him and said" i am the best mother to little alanna" randy replied" most of the time i call home where is she, at my parents house with my brother or at my sister house, she is never home with you, you are always out" sam said "whatever, i am going for a walk" she walk out of the door and slams the door. randy walks into the room and see the kids a sleep and flips up his phone and looks at miracle and kendall and smile softly. randy heard ted talking to john and evan about going out with angelica that pissed him off. but he knew that he could not be mad since this was his own fault.

meanwhile i was in my apartment getting ready for my date with ted. i decide on a midnight blue dress that went a little past my knees with blue flat shoes since i was still getting use to walking no way was i going to wear high heels. i put my hair in curly and put on very little make up i was not a make up person so a little blush and lip gloss was all i was going to wear. i walk out of my room into the main room and john see me and said" you look pretty" i replied " thanks" i walk toward the door and open it and see ted and he look really nice in a blue dress shirt with the first two buttons undone and black jeans. he look really hot and he hands me a single blue rose. ted kiss my cheek and said" hey beautiful" i blushed softly since i was not use to been called beautiful. john said" so what are you kids doing tonight?" i laugh softly and replied" john shut up we are going out to eat and i do not know" ted knew what john was doing and said" don't worry dad your girl is safe" i laugh softly and playfull roll my eyes and grab ted hand and we walk out of the apartment and head toward ted metallic midnight blue mustang rental. he opens the door for me and shut it when i get in. he start driving and we decide that we would go to Italian restaurant since we both wanted Italian food. we walk in and he pull the chair out for me and push it when i sat down and we order our drinks, i order raspberry sweet tea and he orders coke. ted said" i am really glad you decide to come out tonight" i replied "yeah me to" my thoughts _i wish randy and i were ok, i miss my best friend the one that made my life make sense before. _i snap back into reality when ted said" angelica what do you want to eat" i replied " spaghetti" the waiter took the order and left to go place it in. ted said " are you ok?" i replied" i am trying to be but have the person that your heart leaps out of your chest everytime he is near you and you try to move on it is hard" ted put his hand on top of mine and said" i am not like him i am not going to hurt you" i nod my head softly and did not say anything and the food came and we ate and during our eating my phone rings and i know it was alex calling me because of his ring tone. i slip it out of my pocket and said" hello" alex replied" sam and randy was in accident john is here with the kids, angelica i know what randy did and said was bad but randy and needs you" i said" is he ok? are the kids ok?" alex replied " they were not in the accident just sam and randy were but you know john needs you and randy kids needs you" i said " ok um ok i will be there soon" i hang up and ted looks at me and said" you have to go" i replied " ted, sam and randy was in a accident and john is scared, as much as i am hurt by things randy has done him and liam and alanna need someone there for them" ted nod his head and pays the bill and we left to the hospital.

the moment we walk into the hospital and i saw the guys in the waiting room and i see john near the kids. i walk over toward him and said" john" he look at me and replied" he left the kids with hunter because him and sam get into a fight and apparently she left and he went after her and they came to the club we were all at and she was drinking and flirting and you know randy" i nod my head and said" yeah go ahead" john replied " so they go out front and talk i go with him and melina comes out with sam" i roll my eyes and thought _great melina cant stand her but not as much as sam right now. _randy ask sam to get into the car that sam had brought since you know randy love his motorcycle anyways they left and then apparently they were in accident i was called since on randy phone i am his brother. i replied" is he ok" john said" i do not know" i sigh softly and said " i will take the kids to my apartment just called me when you hear anything ok" john nod his head and kiss my forehead. me and ted go to my apartment and i put alanna on the couch in the other room and i put liam in the living room with me and ted at the moment. ted said" i had fun i am sorry it was cut short." i replied" ted thanks for understanding why i had to leave or cut this date early." he nod his head and we sat on the couch but in the back of my mind _please let randy be ok_ _ please let randy be ok, i know sam is evil but let her be ok to not for rand_y _ but for her kids thank you. _


	9. Chapter 9

chapter nine

the next morning i woke up from liam crying and i get out of bed and walk over and pick him up and rub his back. i did not get much sleep the night before and what i did get should not be consider sleep by any standards. ted had stayed the night over and i could hear him and alanna watching tv in the other room. i sat down on the bed with liam and said" i do not know who your daddy is but i am hopping your mommy is ok" my phone rings and i lean back a little and grab it and said "hello" john replied " we can see them now" i said"are they ok" john replied" i am not sure honey they are comas at the moment" i felt hot burning tears roll down my face and said" ok i, we will be there soon". i hang up and put liam back in his car seat and went to change and told ted. we head back to the i get there john was walking out of randy room and said" you go first i will watch the kids" i nod my head and walks in and walk over toward his bed and said" hey, wake up not for me but for the kids they love you, they need their dad" i felt tears in my eyes and said" i need their dad, for the past nine months or so i have been acting like i did not need you, i am strong enough without you, the truth is i am dying inside not being near you so open your eyes" i look up and saw nothing and i lean over and kiss his cheek and get up and then kiss his hand and walk out of the room and slide my back against the wall and sat there and bang my head against the back of the wall over and over until i felt something sit beside me and pull me into their arms and i look up and notice it was evan. evan said" you are going to give you self a head injury and be in the hospital as well" i replied" it is my fault, he is laying in the hospital bed, my fault if he did not know liam wasn't his he would not have get drunk he would not get into the fight with sam and we would not be in this hospital at this moment." evan said" ok but you know hurting yourself is not going to help liam, alanna, kendall, miracle or randy or yourself you have to be strong for those people and yourself" i knew evan was right so i nod my head and did not say a word as he helps me up and we walk toward everyone else. i see randy dad and mom and i froze and they see me and walk over and hug me.

**two hours later **

we had all either been in randy room or sam room. i could not stomach my self to go into sam room even through alanna wanted me to go with her, i could not bring my self to go in there. randy mom sat down by me and said" can i meet my grandkids" i nod my head and we get up and walk to the nursery and we both walk in. i said" kendall ryan matthews orton and miracle hope orton." she smiles and look at me and said" you still love my son, dont you?" i nod my head and said" i can tell my self a million trillion times i hate him i do not need him but at the end of the day i need him, i want him, i think i am not being strong for me i am being strong for them" she nod her head and replied" i remember the day he start talking about you, oh my god you could not get the boy to shut up" i giggle softly because i have heard this from nathan, becky and everyone in the locker room. his mom smile softly and said" i remember the accident i remember it took me, nathan, john, evan and ted to get him to go get something to eat or shower or do anything when you were in the hospital. i nod my head since i did not know that john just told me that they took shift when i was in the hospital when they had to work and stuff. then she look at me and said" i know liam is not randy's called it a mother feeling or whatever you want but i know sam lied to randy, john had just told us about u being pregnant and i think sam over heard and decide if she get pregnant that she would just say it was randys" i nod my head not having the heart to tell her that her mother feeling was right that her baby boy was in the hospital because of me. we decide to head back toward everyone else. nathan and becky ask if they could see their nirece and nephew. i just nod my head i think it was just any where for me to do something beside sitting around blaming my self i was going to do it. we walk back to the nursery and nathan smile and said" so who is bigger" i giggle softly and said" surprisely the girl" becky and nathan laugh and said" really" i nod my head and replied " miracle six pound five once and kendall five pounds six ounce" becky said" so please tell me randy has been here this whole time that you get him away from that cow" i giggle softly since me and becky did not like sam at all and we each had our own reasons. i replied" i am talking to him, we found out that liam is not his and then for some reason it just like glue he is just stuck on her. nathan look at me and replied " not true" i said " what are you talking about?" nathan said" he told everyone that he was planning on leaving her but when she said she was pregnant he did not want to abandoned the baby or alanna" i did not know what to say i guess i really had been to hard on randy. he was a jerk sometimes but he did not send the text that hurt my feelings and i blame him for so long. i get a text saying" come now" i sigh and we walk back and john said" go to randy room there was some movement." i smile and me and his siblings walk in there and i walk over and said" hey randy come on open the eyes miracle is going to be going home soon come on i bet she would love to see her daddy because i am in love always have been and always will be in love with her father so squeeze my hand" i felt him squeeze my hand and nearly jump out of my skin but i was so happy. i just sat there and said" come on open the eyes randall" i figure if i pissed him off he would open his eyes give me the viperness look and tell me not to call him randall. i said" i love you please open your eyes" when he just squeeze my hand again and i smile and kiss his hand. the next few hours it was just hand squeezes and that was it. i come out of the room and john notice i look tired and hungry. john said" come on we are getting you food" i giggle softly and replied " ok"

the moment we get to the lunch room john hands me the necklace i had handed randy the other day and said" they found this in his pocket around this" it was a piece of paper and i fold it and it said

_i know you said you give this back because i did not care about your heart, you were right i do not JUST care about your heart, i care about your body, your mind, your soul and our kids i know when i ask about the dna test i guess i do not know i had a feeling sam was cheating and i just i did not want to believe my wife was cheating on me me and sam just get into a huge fight, most times i would try to fix things but how do you fix something that is broken so bad that it does not seem to be able to be fix, i want you in my life, calling me out on my crap, telling me i am idiot or just telling me you are always here for me, i know you are with ted i hope he knows what a good thing he has and never lets it go like i did and i will have to live with that decision for the rest of my life_

_sign_

_rko_

i sat there and did not know what to say. randy love me oh my god randy loves me. i smile softly and john leans over and read it and hugs me and said" i told you baby girl that boy is crazy about you" i nod my head and replied" yeah he has to woke up john he just has to i know i went out with ted but i did not feel it the spark the chemistry, i mean ted is wonderful any girl would be luck to have" then we heard code blue code blue room 352 code blue code blue. i froze and look at john and said" that randy room" john replied" no that is sam" i said" no it is not it is randy"

i did not care what john said and just get up and ran and find out it was randy. his mom said" he had a seizure but he is ok" i sigh softly and finally let the breathe i did not know i was holding out. the nurses and doctors get him stable and his mom look at me and said" honey i think it is your turn to stay with him like he did with you" i nod my head and john stop me and replied" can i" i giggle and hands him my apartment key and said" sure" john and everyone leaves and i walk over and sit down beside him. i put my hand on top of his and said" john told me that him and everyone did this when i was in the hospital and i thought it was a good idea considering you are in a coma and you really have no say so in the matter" i giggle softly at my self and me giggle made the chillness feeling run all over my body. i said" the night evolution ended when i was doing a house show the next night and we tagteam together do you remember that?" i stop and look at him and no movement at all from him. i said" i remember i had sore muscles because i fall during the top rope move not meaning to but i landed wrong and you were there to get me check out by a trainer and you stayed with me and we just talk the whole time and we just found out i was going to be bruised for a while and you waited on me hand and feet for the next two days and we talk more and more" i sigh softly and get up slowly and look out the window as it starts to rain a little bit and look back at randy. the heart monitor and everything was going smooth but little beeps were driving me nuts. i wanted to hear his voice and i want to see the blue eyes i had grow to love and that smirk that i just wanted to smack off his face, i wanted him and me to be at mcdonald or in his hummer and he try to steal a french fry out of my paper and i just roll my eyes at him or hear him sing off key to katy perry. i felt tears roll down my cheek and walk over and sat down back in the chair and said" do you remember the night walker and i broke up, how i knock on your door at one in the morning crying and you look at me and said" who do i have to rko and i told you who i saw him in bed with and you told me it did not surprise you but that i desreve someone better, randy i think that was the night i fall in love with you, i am not sure about you but i felt something when you and i laid in the bed and you told me everything was going to be ok" i sigh softly as it start to lightning out side and i look at randy and said" or how about my birthday it was storming and i was scared because i hate storms and everyone was picking on me but you and the guys that are my friends and you and the guys had a surprise for me and no one could find me and then you did in mickie james locker room in the shower in a corner with my arms around my knees and you came to me and tuck my hair behind my ears and said that you were not going to let no one or nothing hurt me and that as long as i wore the necklace" i froze when i said "necklace"i pull it out of my pocket and it said" 16=12=07" i look at him and said" as long as i wore the necklace your heart was with me and my heart was with you and as long as we had that no one or nothing could hurt us" i put the necklace in his hand and close his hand and said" now the necklace is to help you open your eyes" i climb in the bed and laid beside him and closed my eyes as tears roll down it.

the next morning i heard a voice softly whisper" please do not let me be dream the first time waking up to her was amazing please i will do anything to make this not a dream" i nearly jump out of my skin it was randy. i look up and see his eyes open and replied" randy?" randy smile and said" hey there, good morning beautiful" i smile and frown and pop him in the shoulder and he look at me and said" what was that for?" i replied" you scary me to death for one, and for two you driving drunk are you idiot" randy smirk and said" for nine months i have been a idiot but no more" i was confused until he lean over and kiss me softly like he did that night we made love and i was thankful i was laying down because i knew if i stood up that i would have lost all balance in my legs. randy said" i am seperated from her, i am getting custody of the kids i do not care that liam is not mine i am taking care of them and i want us to be a family" i replied" we have to date to get to know each other again"

i get out of bed and grab my phone and text john and everyone telling them that randy was up. a few moments later i hear little alanna voice and i bring her into the room and she see her daddy and hugs him and said" daddy" randy smile and hugs her and replied" hey my princess" john puts liam down in the car seat on the chair and walks over toward me and said" are you ok?" i replied" yes i am fine"

**a week later **

randy was still in the hospital and his mom and dad were here and his siblings. i felt bad alanna was worried about her mom and randy could not really leave the bed since his leg was broken and his other leg had a bunch of cuts and stuff. his parents did not really want to go into sam room and her parents were travel somewhere and apparently could not get the message and randy siblings were at school so that left me to do this. alanna said" please can you take me to see my mommy please" she does the puppy face which i could not say no to. i pick her up and we go to her mommy room and i didnt want to go in there but i did not want alanna in there alone. the moment i walk in i froze and said "brett" it was ted brother and to say i was confused would be the understatement of the year. brett said" look angelica, no one knows ok i meet sam through ted at a party things just happened but i love her. i froze and thought _sam ex husband randy, my kids father and me date ted once who is randy friend and brett is his brother can anyone say spider web. _i said" well alanna wanted to see her mom so if you are here can you watch her for a while um just text me when she is ready to come back to her dad. brett nod his head and alanna walk over and said" hey mommy sorry i have not been here in awhile it just i was with daddy and liam and grandma and grandpa and angelica, i know you do not like her mommy but she is cool and she is a great story teller, anyways daddy is going to be out soon but he has to stay with angelica for a while until he is better" i smile and walk out of the room and thought _ he is staying with me even long after the leg heals_. i walk to the nursery really quick and see kendall was six pounds five ounces and miracle was six pounds and eight ounces, which means both of them would be home soon as well.

i walk back to randy room and see him holding liam and said" buddy i know you are not my little boy but i fall in love with you when i first held you and i can't let you go, i am not sure i can keep you after sam wakes up but i am going to try" i replied" randy, brett is with sam for some reason i am not really sure anyways alanna is with them, she is still not a wake yet" randy said" oh well brett is a dibiase his family is always nice so it is ok" i did not say anything else and walk over and said" the twins will be out soon they are almost seven months and drinks three ounce or more" randy said" that is great" he looks at liam and i get behind liam and do a baby voice and said" what are you staring at" randy laughs and said" thanks angel i need that" the door opens and alanna runs in crying. i sigh softly and thought _brett is a deadman. _alanna runs to the bathroom and randy looks at me. i said" don't worry i get it" i knew alanna was upset so i decide to find out why and i walk out and see brett and walk over toward him and said" what the f happen" brett replied" her brain bleed she is dead" i froze not knowing what to say or do.


	10. Chapter 10

chapter 10

"sam died" those two words were rolling around and around in my head. i mean i know i hated her but i never wish her to die and poor alanna. brett look at me and said" whose going to tell randy?" i replied" me i will but first brett did you and sam ever?" i did not even know how to ask the question which was did him and sam ever sleep together because if they did i think i knew who liam father was. which crash me because i would have to break twice the bad news to randy. but i decide first thing first i have to tell randy about sam and then we can figure the liam thing out later. i walk back to randy's room and see that little alanna was still in the bathroom. randy said" is she gone isn't she?" i look up and i saw alot emitions in his face and walk over and softly nod my head and hug him and replied" i am sorry randy" randy softly sob in my arms which part of me did not really understand why since she had done some horrible things like cheat, lie and try and almost sucussed on end mine and randy friendship. but the other part of me understand why he was upset that was his wife and the mother of his daughter. i just hope to god he was not blame himself he did that to me with my accident and i survive i was not sure if he was blaming himself for sam accident and she died how bad his pain could be or would be. randy look at me and said" can you get alanna out for me? please" i nod my head and walk over and open the bathroom door and see her curl in a ball in the bathroom shower in the corner of it. i closed the door considering i think it could be like a girl talk me and her could talk. alanna said" mommy left me, why did she leave me does she not love me anymore" i felt a huge lump in my throat and kneel down and replied" honey your mom love you very much and she never wanted to leave you, but sometimes when we went something we did always get it and sometimes we have to leave the person and the pepole we care most about, but i know one thing your mommy is in heaven and watching over you and your daddy and liam" alanna said" so people that have angels are special right" i giggle softly and replied " yeah i have several angels watching me my dad mom and my mom mom and my dad dad died so i have three angels watching over me every single day" she look at me with her sad eyes and said" you and daddy won't leave me right" i hug her and gentle rub her back and softly said" sweetie i promise i won't leave you, i will always be here for you and your daddy and miracle and kendall and liam but i think right now your daddy needs you so how about we leave the bathroom it smelly in here" she giggles softly and nod her head and we walk out of the bathroom and she walks over toward her daddy and i gentle take liam and randy hug his daughter. i look down at liam and froze because i think the father of him was standing out side in the hall way. i put the sleep little boy in his car seat as i told randy that i had to go step out for a moment. he just nod his head and i walk out of the room and i head toward the lunch room and just look out the window. i felt bad part of me was jumping up and down that i would not have anymore drama with sam but again i felt so bad for little alanna and randy and little liam. i see brett and then part of me felt bad for him for not knowing that he might have a son and losing sam. so i get up and walk over and i notice he was talking to someone and i froze and smile when i see it was ted. ted see me and said" my priceless angel" i giggle softly and replied" hey teddybear" brett said" when did you get up here?" i replied" a few moments ago" ted hugs me and whisper" what up with my brother". i said" sam died" ted look at brett and said" wait a moment sam randy's wife are you out of your mind" brett replied" ok it was a one time thing a few months ago ok shut it" ted look at me and said" he does not know does he?" i said" randy no he does not know" ted replied" not him brett does not know about liam" i shook my head softly and brett said" liam i do not know a liam" i replied" liam is five days old sam son" ted said " it is not randy through" brett replied" i do not have a son" i did not say much not feel like agruing with anyone.

a few days later ted was helping me get the cribs put together and everything for miracle since she was well and health at the moment that she could come home. kendall on the other hand had to stay for a while on a breathing machine. miracle and alanna were a sleep and then me and ted help randy to my apartment. ted went to go lay on the couch which left me and randy alone in my room with little liam. randy said" thanks for being so supportive lately with alanna and me i mean i know sam was not your favorite person in the world" i look at him and gentle caress his cheek and said" no but i know what it is like to lose someone you love so much she is little she will be ok" randy said" i want to keep liam i know i am not his father but i want to adopt him but i know it is bad idea so i was thinking i could put him up for adoption" i rub his back softly knowing he love that little boy but knowing that he was not sure it was a good idea to keep that little boy. i really did not know what to say to the matter and i felt like my opition should not make it go either way. i said" randy you know i am always here for you,no matter what you decide to do i can't make this decision for you" he nod his head and lays back and i lay back with him and he said" i am glad to be home" i look at him and replied" home this is a small apartment that i have until kendall gets out of the hospital" randy smile and giggles and said" no angel i am glad to be home your arms and being near you feels like home to me. " i blushes and kiss him softly and said" that is the corniest weird cutest thing i think i have ever heard" he laugh and said" i know i am corny but it is cute i heard it in a song and it made me think of you" i smile and just lay there beside him until we both fall a sleep.

**a week later**

kendall gets to come home from the hospital and me and randy both decide we would move into randy house. john cena, john morrison, evan bourne, alex riley, cody rhodes and ted come to the house and we pack sam stuff and put the stuff in storage. john cena pulls me out side and said" are you sure living in her house with him is going to a good idea?" i look at him and replied" john she is gone i am not going to be mean about it i am just saying it she is gone she is not coming back, we care about each other out of all people you are the last one i thought would have a problem with this" john said " i do not have a problem but honey i know he has hurt you in the past, i think you guys are rushing it, him because sam just died and you because you think if you do not rush it that you will lose randy again to someone else" i look at him and replied" that is the stupidest thing i think i have ever heard john i love him, i love alanna and i love our twins, this is hard on him, sam gone and he put liam up for adoption the day before we came home he needs me and i am not afraid of lose him, i am afraid that we might have lost that feeling and i am going to live here so we can work on us and him getting better" john sigh softly and hug me and said" ok i am sorry i did not mean to make you mad" i nod my head and we go back to the house and i order pizzas and i walk in and smile seeing the twins laying on their belly and the boys were playing videos games. it was the xbox connect thing. randy and john cena one team, ted and cody one team, alex riley and evan bourne on one team and christian and daniel were just watching and eve was braiding alanna hair. alanna said" daddy do i look pretty" randy looks at his daughter and smile and replied" you do honey you are a cutiepie" alanna giggles and look at eve and said" now braid miracle hair" eve laugh and replied" when she is older she is to little right now"

when the pizza came we all ate and randy get tired of playing video games so they decide just to play the wii. i pick up miracle and she smiles and i act like she was a plane and randy kiss her and said" good night baby girl daddy love you" i smile softly and walks toward her room and gentle put her down and gentle put a blanket around her and she falls a sleep. i walk back in and see john hold kendall and the kinect game system was on and i look and they were playing the dance game and i start laughing and i kneel down in front of them and took a picture. i said" john give me my dance little monkey" john smile and hands me kendall and i do the same thing to him like i did miracle and randy smiles and kiss his forehead" good night buddy daddy loves you" i put him in his crib and i walk back to the living room and my phone rings and i was not near it and john picks it up" hello" a voice said" hey it is angelica mother may i talk to her" john replied" sure hold on" i said " who is it" john replied" your mom" i said " i am not here" i walk back out of the room and ted was the only one that knew why i said that and he follow me and said" you have to tell them" i replied" i know i just can't at the moment, i mean we are all already dealing with alot" ted nod his head and hugs me.

the next night on raw alex,john morrison, john cena and sheamus team up against christian, dolph zigger, jack swagger and christian. during the end of the match randy turn it off and look at me and said" when your mom called what happen, why did you tell john to say you are not here" i look at him not really wanting to talk about it since he was knew how bad some of my family members were but he did not really know or seen how bad, he had just heard me tell him things and he would get the viperness look in his eyes. i said"my mom came to see me one day when i was in the apartment i think it was the day before or so you said you were coming anyways ted was over, kendall was sick and codes were going off i was scared that i was going to lose him anyways my dad call telling me he had told my mom about the twins and everything anyways my mom comes we get into a huge fight and she start hitting me over and over, ted came a little while later told her to stop or he was calling security, she look at him and tell him tell security do not forgot to take out the trash and she left, i do not want see her and i want her no way near our kids" randy caress my cheek softly and said " why didn't you tell me sooner" i replied" i was ashamed, randy my mother beat me called me trash, i do not want them to see that and i sure as hell do not want to turn into that" randy hugs me and said" baby you're most unselfish person i have ever meet, you care more about others and put others first" the phone rings and i sigh and grab it and said" hello" the voice said" hello darling finally answer the phone to the women that give you life" i felt my stomach turn and like i was going to puke. she said" i want to see my grandkids" i replied" over my dead body, they are four months old they did not need something to scar them for life i had enough of that and they do not need my hand me down of mis fortune with a mother that did not give a damn when she was pregnant with me taking diet pills, they do not need you, you ruin me you are not ruining them" i hang up the phone and felt like hiding anywhere away so she could not find me or my kids or randy or alanna.

randy kiss the side of my head and said" angel lets go to bed" i replied " yeah ok" we went to bed and randy took a pain killer and went right to sleep but i just look up at the dark ceiling wondering if she was planning something. i knew who i was going to be caling in the morning. i just laid there for a few hours and then just as the sun was coming up i walk downstairs and start making bottles.

a hour later kendall woke up and i smile and thought _finally something to get my mind off the evil one that call my mother. _ i walk in to his room and pick him upare " hey big guy oh you are wet" i change him and took him into the living room where the sun was coming and feed him and he drank all four ounces. i put him down his baby swing and press it on two. a little while later i felt two arms around me and i look down and see tattoos and smile softly. randy said" i woke up and you were gone and i thuoght me and u were just a dream" i sigh softly and replied" um kendall woke up and he was wet so i had to change him and feed him" randy said" oh well i hope to woke up to you again i love seeing the peaceful look written all over your face." i blush softly and lean over and whisper" i am only like that when i am with you"

then me and randy both heard a voice saying " miracle is crying and i am hungry" i giggle softly and replied" you get alanna breakfast and i will get miracle" randy nod his head and kiss my neck softly which sent shivers down my spine. i walk in and see miracle and she was wet and dirty and i change her as well. i carry her downstairs as well and feed her and put her in the other baby swing.

alanna was eating her cereal and said" angelica daddy pour you cereal as well" i smile softly since we decide that we would let alanna call me whatever she was comfortable with and i would be fine with it. i smile and said" ok cutie i will be there in a moment" i press the button and let it be on two as well as it was the same for kendall.

** 4 months later**

the twins were eight months old and crawling everywhere and pulling themsleves up and then well crying because they did not know what to do. randy was going to be going back on the road soon. it is december and a week before my birthday and i had not heard from my mom since the night we talk and part of me was happy and the other part of me was freaking out severly. randy get his parents to watch the kids and he was doing really well and he was champion which i was very proud of and it was a supershow in ohio. randy was fighting health slater which i thought was stupid. i mean come on the man fought christian to go from christian to health slater really. but oh well i was just happy to be back on the road with him and my friends. eve see me and her mouth drop and said" no wheelchair no baby fat oh my god is that a smile, is ted that good?" i giggle softly and said" good to see you to eve, yeah no wheelchair no baby fat and i am not with ted i am with randy". she look at me like i had stupid stamp on my forehead. i said" eve he is the father of my children i love him" eve replied" i know i am sorry it just he hurt you so bad" i nod my head

what is going to happen on my birthday

author note whatever happens on raw and stuff from now on will just happen but later on like the six months or two weeks or whatever


	11. Chapter 11

chapter 11

me and eve were talking and she was smiling since the twins were with me and still in their strollers. they were eight months but by the look of them they look younger and smaller then most eight month old babies. alanna was coloring in her coloring book since randy was getting ready for his match. then all of sudden we were yelling and i froze hopping it was not about liam. i had not told randy that brett most likely was the father and not wanting the kid. eve look at me and said" go i will watch them" i replied" really" she nod her head and i get up and walk over and see evan, christan and john cena and john morrison holding randy back and i see ted, alex riley, justin grabiel and daniel bryan holding by brett. i am 4"5 and most of these guys were two feet or more taller then me. i get in the middle of ten guys and said" EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP" everyone gets quiet where you could literally hear if it was not for the thousands of people in the arena a pen drop. everyone look down at me and no one saying a word. i said " ok now boys i am going to call you boys because you are acting little boys not like men so since we are going to do this, i am going to ask ted what is going on" ted replied "brett here open his big mouth and was takling about missing sam and randy over heard and randy found out that liam was not his but liam might be bretts and well you know brett said at the hospital he did not wnat kids" i froze was ted really throwing me under the bus. randy and everyone holding him back look at me and i felt a huge lump in my throat now i was scared. randy said" you knew?" i replied" no ok yeah kind of, the day i took alanna to her mom room i saw brett in there i thought at first it was because no one was there to see her and i do not know i thought he was there just to see her because of that then when he said they had been together, i put two and two together, after sam died i did not want say anything becasue come on randy you were dealing with your injures and alanna was dealing with lose her mom at such a young age, i thought at the moment i would not say anything, i was trying to protect everyone in this situation but it is hard, when you said you were giving liam up" i felt tears in my eyes and said" i was going to tell you then but then my mom calls and it was like i had to protect everyone again and stuff get push to the back burn but i would have told you i promise you that" i did not mean to throw my mom stuff out there but the moment i said it eight of the ten guys were just looking at me and only two of the eight knew what happen. evan pulls away from randy and walk over and hugs me and said" i see where she is come from if you guys want to be mad at her you can but i wont" i smile softly thankful that i had one person and hopping i did not lose anyone that i just get back into my life. ted let go of his brother and said" i have been watching your back for the longest time i am not doing it anymore, angelica did not say anything because she was protecting you and randy but you know what you get yourself into this mess you get yourself out." ted walk over and hugs me and kiss my cheek and said" i am always here priceless princess" i giggle softly and replied" thanks teddy bear". john cena was the next one to hug me and said" we have to talk about the mom thing i want to know what is going on" i nod my head softly and then john morrison hugs me and him and john walk off to go talk about a match. which left daniel, brett, justin, christian and randy. christian said" i have to go find wade and jack and dolph, angelica are you going to be ok to handle this" i nod my head and replied" go good luck" christian smiles and walks off and that left me alone with four guys and one of four i care alot about. i look at randy and i walk closer to him and put my hands on his shoulders and said" randy please see where i was coming from, i just thought i was doing the right thing and" he look at me and replied" i have to go my match is next" he walks away and felt sadness wash over my body like a wave crash upon a shore. daniel and justin walk away something about a house show and they were teaming up. brett was the last one and he look at me and said" you did not tell me he put it up" i throw my head back at him and replied" he did it a few days after me and ted told you about the kid you said you did not want it, it is ok if u want to mess up your relationship with people but i am going to make this loud and clear do not screw with me brett i am the last person at this moment in time you want to screw with that is not the threat brett it is a promise" i walk away and i walk back over toward eve and she look at me and said" what was all the noise about" i replied" nothing i handle it" eve look at me and said" you look upset are you ok" i nod my head and replied" i am fine" when randy match was over i knew what he was going to do which was shower and then we would all leave at least that is what i was hopping for that we would all leave. eve watch the kids for me while i walk into randy room and i walk in and closed and lock the door behind me. randy turns around and see me and said" what are u doing" i replied" i do not want you mad at me randy, please say your not" randy said" i can't do that you never lied to me and then tonight from brett i had to hear from ted little brother that he slept with my wife and the little boy i grow to love so much and found out was not mine is actually his and the one person i trusted never told me" i walk over and said" baby i did not lie i just did not tell you at the time, come on sam just died, alanna was lock in a bathroom, the twins were still in the hospital and me and you just get back toward talking and being near each other with me not wanting to kill you like the past few times we were face to face, maybe i did not tell you because i knew how much you cared about that little boy" i sigh softly and said" randy please i can't lose my best friend again" randy replied" you wont i mean you still get alex, ted, both johns and evan and christian" i look at him and siad" they are friends they are not my best friend, my best friend, my soul mate, my partner in crime and the other half of me that is all you" randy look at me and just unlock the door and walk out and i felt like following him but my legs would not let me as they felt like jello and i just collasped to my knees and let the tears fall. then i get up when i saw both john match was over. since john cena said we need to talk about my mom thing. i get up and walk toward eve and she look at me. i just get the twins since randy get alanna. i go toward john locker room and just sit on the couch. john walks in and see me and said" i know i said i wanted to talk i did not mean right after my match through" i replied" randy is pissed at me and he left, i do not have alot of people john and i just get him back in my life and i keep one little thing from him and it ruins everything" john sat down and see kendall a sleep and miracle a sleep and look at me. i said" my mom made my life horrible to the point where i try to kill my self six times, three times i was sent to a hospital for 72 hour watch that was hell, one time my best friend since ninth grade walks in and finds me and give me this stuff to help you puke and stayed with me all night and all day, the other two times well nothing happen just some cuts, so i graduate high school and came to missouri and went to college and did the wrestling thing, she never once was proud of me, never once saying good job never once told me i could be and do anything i wanted to do, i never had her support so when i had the twins my dad thought me and my mom could talk work on things, you know i am mother she is a mother, but no she just start crap and i am thankful ted was there john or she would not have stop beating me" john hugs me softly and said" she is not going to do anything anymore me and the guys and eve will make sure of that" i smile softly and said" eww you smelly go shower" he laugh and nod his head and replied" yes mama" i giggle softly and push him toward the showers.

after john took a shower he drove me and the twins back to the hotel where i decide i was just going to let randy cool off and i will just bunk with my boys john and twins slept through the night so i did not have worry about them waking up anyone. evan said" can you believe the miz and r-truth wanting to fight me and kofi for the titles" i giggle softly and replied" i wonder what their team name is" john replied" the mizfits, get it miz and r-truth miz fits because all they do is complain" i laugh softly and said" i like airboom better" the boys nod their heads and they went to sleep but for some reason i was not all that slept. i wrote a note saying

"_i am going to the pool if the twins woke up just text me sign angel" _

i knew the guys would think i was crazy but they had a indoor pool and i need something to take all my tense and stress away and i knew that would be me swimming and sitting in the hot tub. i put the towel on a chair and i put the room key and cell phone on top of it so no one would see it and take it. i walk over and press the button for the jets for the hot tub and step into it and sat down and closed my eyes. i felt all the worries and tense feeling i had just wash away. i knew i had hurt randy and i did not mean to i hope he could forgive me since i did not want to be alone my birthday of course i had my kids but i need their father. i hated need a man. i hated the feeling that i need someone that hurt me worse then anything thinking i was never good enough to be alone that i had to have someone. then i heard a voice asking" mind if we join you" i open my eyes and see alex and ted. i said" if you guys want to" i just sat there and alex and ted step in and ted said" randy is rooming with cody something about he acts like a kid that he would be good with alanna, so what happen" i replied" he said i lied to him and i never lie to him, i did not lie i just i thought i was protecting him" alex said" angel he is a big boy he could take care of himself you do not always have to protect someone" i look at ted and ted laughs and look at alex. ted said" alex she is always been like this there is no point into talking her out of it, she has been here through almost all every problem me, john, and randy have with our wives or cody and christian with their girlfriends or whatever she has always been like this." alex said" ok but randy is a big boy do not worry about him beside he would be stupid to let you get away again." i replied" thanks a-ry i need that" he smile and just sat there and closed his eyes and ted hug me and said" it will be ok i mean if he makes you sad until your birthday i will beat him up on your birthday" i giggle softly and said" no you wont ted this is something i have to handle for my children" alex said" how about ted dont beat him up but i do" i look at him and said" no" alex replied" please" i said" no alex ok" he just nod his head. then i heard a voice and everytime i hear this i swear i can hear a wolf howl at the moon and dogs barking and babies crying. i know a little dramatic but still in my head that is what i hear. my mother said" wow you go from one guy to two aint you a busy girl" i could felt ted grip around my waist get a little tight. alex's eyes just shot open and said "Excuse me" i replied" alex meet the devil oops i mean my mother, mom this is my friend alex and ted oh wait you already know ted" my mother said" how were your kids" the past tense talk was a little annoying. ted said" were? do you mean how are they? they are a live" i smile thankful ted could talk because at this point the whole thoughts in my head were hurt mother dearest any where possible that will not get you arrest. alex said" they are cute kids" my mother replied" where are they at" i said" with their god fathers john and evan" my mother replied" where is randy" i did not say anything since i did not know what to say and then i heard a voice that sounded like angels talking. the husky voice said" right here i um had to drop alanna off with a friend of mine before i could come down here and ted and alex just came to keep her company, right guys?" the boys nod their head but ted grip around my waist was still tight. my mother replied" wow three guys you are a busy girl, no wonder why i called you a mistake when you were little one of these days all your friends wil realize that to." i did not care that ted had his grip on me. i get out of the hot tub and get in her face and said" excuse you, i am not your tragic anymore, you had me i had problems because of you, i am not the girl you can use anymore to have people feeling sorry for you" my mother laughs and replied" you know i never wanted you, i just had you thinking it would keep your father around boy i was wrong he left me when you were about four years old he said he could not handle the crying and the hospital stuff anymore, but you are close to him hell he does not even want you". i could not see straight anymore i was so angry and push her as hard as i could and she fall in the pool. i said" STAY OUT OF MY LIFE" randy pulls me back from the edge since he knew i could swim just not that great especial in the deep end and turns me around and rub my back and said" shh baby girl it is ok shh" i look up at him and said" we ok?" randy nod his head and replied" yes i am sorry i get mad" we head back up to the rooms after i grab my stuff.

**a week later my birthday **

me and eve were hanging out at the mall and she would sign autographs but most of the time we were left alone. eve said" whatever you pick i will buy for you" i replied" eve" she said" no it is your birthday and i am the only girl you hang out with beside all of the boys so i am doing this" i nod my head and replied" thank you" we see my favorite store ok not really but i like some of the shirts and i figure if we were going to shop we need to start here. it was called wet seal. we buy tons of shirts and some boots. then we went into a store called forever 21. eve get a message on her phone and told me to go on with her since it was not really a big store and she would be there in a moment. i nod my head and just walk into the store thinking nothing of it. i just thought it was weird i had not heard from randy or the boys today and we had left the twins with hunter and Stephanie. then my ringtone for randy plays "wait for me" by theory of a deadman (i freaken love this song). i get a smile on my face and pull the message up

"_hey angel i did not forget it is your birthday, i was sleeping you know since alanna had a little bug the other day and i was just sleeping and i just wanted to tell you i love you and happy birthday and i will see you later- your rko for ever. "_

i smile since i was glad i had randy back in my life being without him would have killed me. eve walks over toward me and said" i get a message from your boytoy we can't go back to the hotel until later" i replied" ok well we can try on clothes and be girls" she smile and hugs me and we start picking clothes to try on and stuff.

we head to the food court since we were hungry after trying on all the clothes and buying alot we decide to get something to eat. where i see ted, cody, and alex all in hoodies and sunglasses. eve was looking at me and look who i was looking and she laugh and said" is that who i think they are" i nod my head and we walk over and replied" can we have your autograph". eve tries not to laugh and alex was the first one to look at me and said" how did" i replied" easy you three were looking down and i could tell by the back of the cell phone holders" ted said" happy birthday" i smile and replied" thanks" alex and cody said " happy brithday" i replied" thanks" ted hands me what his present was and i open it. it was a stuff white tiger from bear a build wearing a blue hoodie and shorts. he smile softly and said" there is another present in the box house thing it came in" i smile and it was a jewerly box and it was tiffany box and i open it and saw a letter "a" round pendant. i smile and hug him and said" thank you" alex hands me a card and it was a $150 gift card for i-tunes. cody hands me a box and i open it and it was a charm bracelet that he had already get charms on for me. first charm was a heart lock with a key and other charms were angel wings, snow flake and others. i smile and hug him and said" thanks cody and guys my birthday has been a good one so far." i was wondering if randy was up to something but i did not want to ruin the surprise if there was surprise. eve and i ate lunch which was chick fila and after we were done eve told me that john text her and wanted me out side. i walk out side and see john lean against a mustang with a huge stupid girn on his face. i said" john what did you do" john replied" you know how you always wanted a mustang" i said " yeah but i could not drive because i do not have a linscene and then me and randy were in the accident and i could not really use my legs so then i give up the dream why" john said" well this mustang behind me is yours" i look at him like he was crazy and said" what" john replied" i get you this for your birthday ok me and your dad get this for your birthday" i was surprise shock and run and hug john and said" really" john replied" yeah me, your dad and john morrison and christian chip in"i was happy for the first time in a while and i mean life was going good for me and i was happy that it was going so well. eve comes out with all out stuff and said" what did you get her Johnny boy." john replied" the mustang" eve looks at the car and said" really you guys wow" john replied" not just me alex and christian and her dad chip in and we buy the car for her if she is not on the road she will need a car" eve puts our stuff in the back. john said" evan said he has your present but you get it later and i am not telling you what is it and randy has a surprise and i am not telling you what it is"

**later that night**

me and eve were getting ready. i was wondering what my surprise was from evan and randy. i was in loose legged blue jeans and dress loose strapless sleeve shirt. i heard a knock on the door and open it and see evan and my mouth drop. he has mickie james, ashley, and maria and my friends from my home town whitney, jessica and my friend john deere with him. i hug him and said" evan thank you" evan laugh and replied" i figure you need your friends to have a party". now i was super happy now i just need to know randy surprise. john hugs me and said" hello dear i have miss you so much" i replied" i have miss you to" me and john have a weird friendship but he was a good guy. john left with evan so me and the girls could finish getting ready. whitney said" why did evan invite john deere what the heck" i sigh softly forgetting one thing whitney does not like john deere. i said" because evan invite for me, john my friend" after we get ready we leave and go to a club that hunter had rented out for me for my birthday. i saw everyone and then i saw my dad and my step mom and my step siblings and my nireces and nephews and evan with a huge smile on his face. i see everyone but for the one person i have only heard from once today and sigh. me and everyone had fun but i was missing randy. then the lights go off which kind of freak me out let just say i watch to many scary movies. then i heard the husky voice and one light on him and i see him and smile softly. he look good in dark blue silk shirt with the first two buttons undone. randy said" i want to wish my girl a happy birthday and i wanted to do this all romantic light so i need her to follow me." i giggle softly as everyone was clapping and cheering and he had not done anything yet. so me and him go outside and it is snowing. he smile and said" six months me and you not talking and if we were talking we were fighting i told you once before that accident made me realize that i have a good thing with you and i should not let you go, you are the best thing in my life beside our kids and that include little alanna and these past six months have been greatest of my life, i love wake up and having you sleep next me, i love how goofy you are with the kids, i love how you let me in after all the crap that i put you through, i love that you give me another chance for us, i love how your arms feel like home to me, i want that home feeling for the rest of my life, i want us to grow old together, i want to be able to know that for the rest of my life you are going to be my wife, so will you do me the honor and be mrs. orton?"

author note i know the guys get her big gifts that cost alot of money but john saying on raw he knows alot about cars lol so i thought it was good just to let him give her a car. plus the next chapter i will post a link to the ring.


	12. Chapter 12

chapter 12

the moment he open the velvet box and i saw the blue diamond ring. i smile and softly nod my head and replied" yes i will marry you" he slip the ring on my finger and pick me up and spin me around and i laugh and smile and kiss him softly and slowly. he just held me in his arms as we stood there and watching the snow fall on the ground. i saw a grayish green lexus coming toward us and i knew who was behind the wheel. i felt really scared knowing this person was a bad drive even with the dryiest road and it was ice and snow on the ground and it made her even more dangerous. i said" baby lets go back in side please" he look at me and replied" it is so nice out here baby" i said" please?" i was scared not just for my self but for randy. he nod his head and he lets me go in front of him and we had been across the street from the club so i walk across and then randy walks and then i heard a thump and then a car driving off as fast as they could. i did not want to turn around to afraid i already know what i was going to see but i turn around and see randy. i run inside and said" someone call 911 now" i yelled and run back out side and sat down there crying and said" baby please be ok god please be ok" i heard a few people behind me and then i felt john arms around me lifting me up saying" what happen." i replied" my mother hit him with her car she was going to hit me but he told me to go in front of him back to where everyone is and i turn around and he was on the ground" john said" the ambulance and police are coming" i nod my head and the ambulance came and police did as well and i told them everything and then i went up to the hospital.

the moment we get to the hospital they took him and i just sat down in the waiting room and everytime the double glass doors open and closed every time it did i jump. it was everyone coming from the club to the hospital. i called hunter and told him that we would be a little late that randy had been hit by a car. three hours later the doctor comes out saying that randy leg rebroken and he had a broken shoulder and he had hit his head pretty hard. everyone decide to go back to the hotel and i stayed at the hospital.

i did not go to his room first i walk to the church and get down on my knees and said" well i am not really good at this god i know it must suck being you i mean everyone asking for something and they are not doing anything in return but please i can't lose him, i will do anything i will give him my last breathe, i will give him anything just please do not take him away not because just of me but little alanna, kendall and miracle" i get up slowly as i walk to randy room.

the next morning when randy woke up he look at me and the look hurt me so bad because it was a like of not knowing who i was. i said" randy" randy smile and hug me softly and replied" oh baby you are ok thank goodness" i wanted to say something but i decide not to and just hug him and be thankful he was ok.

when randy get to go home three days later his leg was not broken but it was pretty damaged. i get randy comfortable on that couch and get everything settle and this was going to be first year randy had not gone over to see the soilders and he was not happy about that. so i let alanna go to her room and play and i put the twins in the bouncers to get them sleepy so they could sleep so i could do other things. randy notice i was doing alot of things and finally reach out with his good arm since his other shoulder had to be pop into place and said" baby calm down i am fine, the kids are fine just relax" i decide to get miracle out of her bouncer and i set her down and i knew she could crawl so i decide to let her crawl and then she pull her self up and she start walking. randy just watch her and i turn around and i start watching this and it brought tears to my eyes. this was a very special moment our daughter was taking her first steps. i decide to take a picture and put dec 19 miracle taking her first steps. i look over at kendall and he was just look at his daddy with his head laying on his bouncer. i giggle softly and said" i think our son is entertained by you" he look at me a little confused and i point and he smile and said" aww our sweet kids and we are so lucky" i nod my head hopping that cops would catch my mother but they told me that they have not even found her car yet. i thought _it is a ugly color why isn't easy to find it should be easy." _

**christmas eve day**

john and everyone gets back from iraq and were stopping to see randy. miracle now was almost always walking and she did crawl but she was more into walking. kendall on the other hand was more into crawling and standing and that was it. john cena was playful chasing miracle and picks her up and said" hey cutie where you think you are going" she smiles and giggles and i smile softly. we all ate dinner and then most of them start leaving to go to see their families. after i get the kids a sleep i walk downstairs and me and randy count down to midnight since we decide we were going to open our presents now and let the kids have their time in the morning. i get randy engrave dog tags kind of like john but each one said a name like miracle then her middle name and last and birthday with her birth stone and the other three had the same thing. then the last one i had made when randy was in the hospital and it said " with all my heart yours forever and ever and always together no one can seperate us until die do us part" randy kiss me softly and replied" exactly baby forever and always my love and my baby you will be" he hands me a box and said" i have one more present but my brother is bring it in the morning" i smile softly and open the first box and it was a charm bracelet with each kid names on it and the next present is a locker with one picture of me and randy, one of miracle, one of kendall and one of alanna and one space was empty. the back of the necklace said" always care people you love with you" i smile softly and hug him tightly and kiss him softly. we just laid on the couch and fall fall a sleep. the next morning the kids woke up and i get the twins and we open presents and i put stuff away. then i hear a knock on the door and open it and see nathan and said" hey nathan" he walks in and he has two surprise and they both were puppies. one was a husky and randy told me that one was mine and the other one was a chocolate lab which was the kids. i smile and said" aww thank you baby" i smile and walk over and hug him. i have always wanted a husky since i love husky ok i love the wolve looking dogs. i decide to name him shadow and i look at alanna and said" what do you want to name the puppy" she smile and replied" cocoa" i nod my head and decide when it was nice and not dangerous to drive that i would get the dog tags for the dogs. i put both of them in the back yard and nathan and randy played video games. i put the twins down for their nap and i put in a movie for alanna.

a week later randy was in the gym walking with his leg and most of the time he was in pain alot but he wanted to get back to wrestling soon rather then later. the kids were at randy's mom since i had some run around to do and i did not want them to be around me in case i run into the devil knowing as my mother.

i went to wal-mart and grab some stuff and paid for it and as i was walking out i see her and i froze and i blink and she was gone. i just figure i was crazy and randy text me saying that he was done and need a ride home. i had been thinking alot lately that me and him have not been together but that one time. heck every time i look at him lately i feel like i want to jump him. so i decide that i was going to wear the lingerie i buy when i was at the mall with eve a while back. after i pick him up i told him that tonight we were kid free and i wanted us to spend some time together and he look at me and i smirk softly. he look confused and i said" like that night we were together" he smile and replied" oh i think i could be up for some tender loving" i giggle softly and said" oh really" he smile and replied" yes baby" the moment we get into the house we start kissing and he pins me against the wall and kiss my neck and we went upstairs and we made love. he gentle laid his head on my chest and i rub his back. i was in a room laying in the bed with the man i love and i felt life was prefect at this moment. randy said" baby" i replied" hmm" randy said" i love you" i smile and kiss him and replied" i love you to"

**a month later**

i had been feeling sick lately and the twins were nine months old and it just seem like kendall did not want to walk but i was not going to pressure him. my mother pressure me into thing and i figure when he is ready he will walk and miracle was walking. randy was back on the road i thought it would be better to rest up and heal up but no he figure he need to be back on the road that his shoulder was fine. i did not have the energy or the strength in me to fight him when he was set in his suborn ways. ashley, maria and mickie james were at my house and ashely was the first and only one i think that notice something was wrong. she followed me upstairs after i was putting the twins down for their nap and i walk out of their room and she stop me and said" angelica are you pregnant" i replied " no i am not pregnant i have just been having a stomach flu you know alanna goes to day care and kids go there sick and health and she must have brought something home and the twins caught it from her and i caught it from one of them" i sigh softly as we walk back downstairs were the girls were since we were talking about my wedding i told them that i wanted something small just my friends and family and randy friends and family nothing big. they were going to be my braid maids and my friends jessica and whitney were going to be maid of honors. ashley pulls me to the bathroom and said" here" she hands me a test and said" take it" i replied" are you just carrying these things around" she look at me and said" just take it" i replied "ok" she walks out of the bathroom and i took the test. five minutes and i saw eight letters and froze. it said positive.

author note

i know it is short sry um tell me what guys would like to see.


	13. Chapter 13

chapter 13

eight letters which means positive which means something good. but i had alot on my plate as it was considering we had alanna who was about to be three and our twins were nine months old and i was dealing with my pyshco mother who could be anywhere and planning a wedding. i just wrap towel paper around the test and broken it in half and walk out and start talking to the girls. mickie comes back from the kitchen and said " what is wrong with your dogs" i replied" i do not know they have been like that all day" she just nod her head and we just sat and talk until alanna runs downstairs and said " mommy angel there is a car sitting out front and someone just sitting there". i said " ok angel thanks for telling me" she goes back upstairs and the girls just look at me. i get up and go to a box i had hidden and puts the gun in my back pocket and the girls look at me like i am crazy. i said" it is my mother this ends today i do not care how i do not know when but if i have to i will end this my self" ashley looks at me and said" do you even know how to use that". i replied " yes matt and sean john's brother taught me just make sure the kids stay inside" ashley look at me and said" angelica please do not do this" i replied" she hit randy with a car, she beat me when i was in the hospital, and she not hurting the kids i won't let her and if i shot her and go to jail i will tell them i was protecting my self and my kids" i walk out of the door and closed it behind me since i really just wanted alanna and the twins to stay in the house. i walk toward the car and then i froze she had my sister son julian who is six in the back seat and i knew at that moment i could not use the gun. i get in the car and said" what do you want" she replied" you are coming home" she lock the door and started speeding off. i cussed under my breathe because i had no cell phone, no jacket, and a gun and i had no clue where i was going. i said" hey julian" julian smiles and replied" hey aunty" my mom said" both of you shut up" i roll my eyes and i had no clue where she was going. when she pulls up to a warehouse and i turn my back just to see if julian was ok and then everything went black.

two hours later i woke up and my head was spinning and i was in a dark room and i did not feel the gun anymore and now i was scared. i wonder if the girls have called the police yet, i wonder if randy knew yet and that image made tears roll down my cheek. what felt like two hours to me was actually 12 hours. i get up slowly and i saw a dim light on over my head but beside that i saw no windows and i look around and froze, since i knew exactly where i was. we were back at the house my mom brought before i move to missouri and i was in the basement which was original my sister room and it smell so horrible that i was getting a sick feeling in my stomach. i look around my sister room thinking she had to have a cell phone or a house phone in this room or a computer or something and after looking for a while i did not find anything. then i heard a little boy cry and turn around and see julian and run over and hug him and said" it is ok shh i am here i am ok look buddy we have to get out of here, ok come on" julian replied" we can't granny is crazy, mommy lied to daddy and daddy left me and went to heaven" i froze julian dad was my best friend lucas and when i heard he died. it was like it just happen well i guess it did since i just found out about it. i said" julian, we are getting out of here, you have nieces and a nephew to meet" i did not like this at all and i did not like how they were treating julian.

i could not even find the door which was really annoying the hell out of me. i heard the door open and froze and i saw black and said" scott how could you help them" scott replied" you left me to go to missouri think you are better then all of us, you are not better then anyone and julian is here to keep you company you know his mother does not want him, you should know how that feels" i look at him and slap him and he look at me and said" you bitch" i replied" exactly you forgot what kind of bitch i can be if you piss me off let me out of here, i might be pregnant, i have three kids at home and i have a fifance that i bet is worried about me and i have six people and a little girl that saw my mother car" scott said" we burned the car" i look at scott and said" scott remember peyton your sweet angel, your baby girl, she would not want you to do this what you doing this proving to anyone" scott slap me and i fall and he said" she died do not ever bring my little girl and this, this is to prove nothing this is a retreat meaning until you start acting like you love them people upstairs you are not leaving and trust me angelica i can tell if you are lie or not just because they are not sometimes good it doesn't mean i like that" he puts the food that he brought down and leaves and locks the door behind him.

julian ate the food but at the moment i was not really hungry i had to get us out of there. julian start crying and i kneel down and saw red ants biting him and i was getting pissed off. julian had health issues they should not be doing this to a little boy. i tried several times to open the door and it did not happen. i did not know what to do. then i saw my sister at the door and i said" ok fine just let julian upstairs come on faith he is a little boy with health issues" she roll her eyes and said" come on whatever your name is" julian look at me like he did not want to go and i lean over and kiss his cheek and hug him and said" go" he leaves and she look at me and she comes toward me and we start fighting and she kicks me hard with hard heel boots on at my knee and i collapsed in pain and she said" thats from mom" i look at her and did not say anything as she left. they took out one leg so i could not run but i was getting out of here.

**three months later **

i wanted to go home, my kids will be turn one in a few weeks i wanted to see them. i miss randy and alanna and miracle and kendall. i knew what i had to do to get out did i like the idea hell to the no. but i know i have to do it just to get out of the house and away yes. my leg was not fix but i mean i was never out of the house or out of the room. but it was like clock work three times a day they would bring me food. i was miserable and pregnant and getting eat up by ants. i waited for scott to come and i flirted with him. he was stupid he had a knife in his back pocket and i grab it and said" scott let me go" scott replied" no" he leans over and start kissing my neck and taking off my clothes and i just stab him over and over nad push him away i get dressed and head upstairs toward the front of the house. i was not leaving julian especial not with these people. i walk into the house and what i did not see was my step dad bring me and he hit me in the back of the head and i fall. next thing i know i woke up on a bed and my feet and hands were tied and he rape me over and over and then cut the rope and throw me in the back yard. i get up in all of pain and run to the next door neighbor house and called police. they came and arrest everyone for kidnapped and other things. the police call julian and i stop them and said" wait i am his aunt let him come with me" i knew my sister had four kids but i did not know where the other three were but julian was six years old and had already been through alot. they nod their head and hand him to me and take me to the hospital and get both of us check out

after getting check out the police drove me to the airport and i get to go home. i froze it was randy birthday today and i was so happy i was going home on my baby birthday i could not wait to see him and my kids. julian look out the window and said" will randy like me?" i replied" of course he will, i think he will be happy about having a six year old to do stuff with i mean because right now the twins are to little and alanna is a girl so of course he will" when the plane landed i just called a cab and told them the adresse and give them the last little bit of money i stole from scott. julian runs to the front door scared to knock on it. i giggle softly and said" buddy i am not sure they are here" i see a car pull up and almost jump out of my skin and i turn and see randy and i could not help my self i just run toward him and hug him. randy hug me tightly and said" baby" i replied" happy birthday honey i am sorry i have been gone for a while but i am not going anywhere" randy smiles and kiss me softly and notice i was pregnant and said" did they?" i replied "yeah but i was pregant before he did its yours, i found out i was pregnant before i left" he just hug me and i felt like i never ever wanted him to let go.

then i heard the three sweetest little voice said"daddy, dada, dada" randy laugh and said" kendall says words just not walking yet" i nod my head and he gets the kids out and alanna looks at me and hugs me and i hug her and said" hey girly i miss you so much and your brother and sister, i have a friend for you to meet it is my nephew" randy get miracle out and she smiles and reaches for me and i hug her and said" hey mommy miracle, aww mommy miss you" miracle smile and i let her go next to alanna and then randy gets kendall. i smile softly kendall look exactly like randy. i smile and kiss kendall cheek but he get scared and start crying which made me sad. randy said" he is sick he has not been feeling good lately so you brought your nephew" i nod my head and replied" yeah we can talk about it later when they are a sleep alot has happen and we will just talk about it later" he nod his head and hugs me and said" i get my birthday wish i wanted my baby home and she is home" i smile and lean over and kiss him softly and said" yeah"

later that night after we put the kids to bed i made a bed in the living room for julian just for now until we figure out the room and everything. i walk upstairs and felt two strong arms around me and literally almost jump out of my skin and then i felt randy soft lips kissing the back of my neck and then the side which send chills down my spine and goosebumps down my arms. randy laughs and said" it seem i still have a magical effect on you" i giggle softly and felt chills again that laugh was so hot. randy said" so boy or girl?" i knew what he was asking and i shook my head and replied" i am not telling oh when i do it is on the twins birthday i know everyone will be here and i can surprise them that i am home" randy said" my baby is a genius" i giggle and replied" yep and dont you ever forgot it." i kiss him softly thinking to get my step dad image out of my head and look into his blue eyes and saw happiness and lust and love. i felt everything that he was feeling i was happy i was home with my family and i love my family and lust well it was my hormones talking. we walk to our room and laid down where i laid my head on his chest and just listen to his heart beat and fall a sleep. randy whisper" my home is back home with me where she belongs" i smile in my sleep as i felt his arms wrap around me and gentle rub my back.

**two days** **later **

it was my twins birthday their first birthday and i was excited for them and to see everyone and to tell everyone that i was pregnant and what i was having. randy had been impaitent and bugging me about what we were having which was starting to drive me nuts. randy open the door and let everyone come inside and then i come out from where i was hiding and john was the first one to pick me up and hug me and said" where have you been? when did you get home? holy shit are you pregnant?" i pop him and said" jonathan felix anthony cena, there are kids in this house watch your mouth" he laugh and hug me and said" i am sorry i am just happy to see my adoptive sister i have miss her so much" i giggle and said" i have miss you to, my mom is the one that kidnapped me so that is where i have been and i get back two days ago" then everyone else start hugging me and i was happy to be back home where i belong. julian comes out and he look scared but he did not know alot of people and he was shy and it was his mother treat him so bad that made him this way. i giggle and playful pull him toward me and said" everyone this is my sweet little nephew julian and julian this is everyone do not be shy everyone is nice" ted said" really another boy that i have to fight to get your attention" ted try to look serious but me and john and evan and randy start laughing and ted start laughing to.

the whole party was amazing and we were cutting cake and randy wraps his arms around my waist and whinyed in my ear and said" baby can you please tell me now i waited like a good boy" i laugh softly and kiss him softly and replied "ok" everyone gets cake and i said" ok everyone three months ago the day i was kidnapped i took a test found out i was pregnant and now i am three months pregnant well when police took me to the hospital to get check out i found out that i am having a little girl"everyone clap and congrated me and randy.

author note

i have three questions need help?

a little girl name first and middle?

one wedding song artist and song

my next story because this one will be ending soon should it be. you can pick more then one

john cena/ oc

alex riley/ oc

evan bourne/ oc

ted dibiase jr/ oc

randy orton/oc

tna

aj styles/oc

crimson/oc

alex shelley/oc

chris sabin/oc

last question from the list of people and oc. would you want to see a wrestling story or high school or college or one making a movie and the oc winning a part. tell me what you want to see thanks appreciate it.


	14. Chapter 14

chapter 14

a week from the kids birthday and julian now going to school and alanna at day care and randy on the road i was at home thinking about my wedding. mickie, ashley, maria, jessica and whitney and john wife liz were all at my house and we were looking at dresses. i had told them after i have the baby i was getting married now while i look like a whale. i was very thankful my dad was going to walk me down the aisle. mickie said" have you thought of names" i replied" some i mean i like the name grace, i like the name andria, i like the name leanna and rihanna and just alot of names" after we talk about names for a while i heard a little boy crying and said" that is kendall i will get him" kendall was still a little scared of me but he did not really cry anymore he just look scared. i walk in and said" hey sweet boy" i pick him up and notice his diaper had wet all the through his shorts and on his bed. i told the girls that i might be a little longer then a little while but that i would be right back down there. i give kendall a bath and i put a dry diaper on him and a shirt. i turn to grab the shorts and he was crawling away. i giggle wishing he would walk and i was glad we were downstairs so he would not go to the stairs and try to crawl down there so i had a moment to clean up his room and put everything in the washer. then i heard ashley said" angelica he is walking" i replied" what" i walk in to the kitchen and see kendall pushing the foot stool but he was walking. i grab my camera and took a picture and put it in his baby book and put a year and a week old kendall start walking. i pick him up and put him in his bouncer and then i heard miracle and said" twins they act like i will be back again" i go to miracle room and smile and pick her up and said" hey angel oh you smelly" i notice it happen again had gone all the way through the diaper on to the sheets of her crib. i give her a bath and dressed her as well and put dirty sheets in the washer with dirty clothes and then put her in her bouncer as well. i sat down and the girls were looking at maid of honor and bridesmaids dresses. my friend whitney said" we should have like the 27 dresses you know at the end where the girl has her bridesmaid in different color and style dresses you should do that" i replied" no i do not want to do that this is not a circus whitney this is my wedding, ok" i sigh softly knowing this might have been a bad idea getting whitney involve in anything of mine since she loves to make things about her, and especial when it came to me. the phone rings and i knew who it was and told the girls that i would be back. i walk outside in the back yard and press talk and said" hey baby" his husky voice replied" hey beautiful" the dogs were barking and randy heard them. randy said" are you outside" i replied" randy i am in the backyard she is in jail and if i talk on the phone in there i am most likely going to kill someone" randy laugh and said" i think my character viperness is rubbing off on you, let me guess your friend whitney" i replied" baby she just i do not know she thinks this wedding is about her, if she throw out one more stupid idea or one more suggestion i am going to snap, i am already in a bad mood i am tired, i do not feel good and the past two days the babies diaper have leap through and i am washing their blankets yet again" randy said" baby do not kill anyone i love you and i do not think you look good in a orange jumpsuit look just tell the girls you need to rest for a while and just tell them to warm up bottles or something and take a nap" i roll my eyes when he said he does not think i would look good in a orange jumpsuit i knew he was trying to make me laugh but at this moment he was making me more annoyed.

i sigh softly and sat down and said" i just miss you and i guess what happen at my mom place is having more of affect on me then i thought and that sound like a good idea baby, i love you" randy replied" i love you to look i have to go i was just checking on you, give the kids a hug and kiss for me and i will call you later" i said" ok tell the boys to be careful" randy replied" i will" we hang up the phone and i walk back into the house. i saw whitney holding my daughter calling her bella. i sigh softly i knew i need to calm down but for some reason i could not seem to find my calm happy place. i walk over and pick up miracle from whitney and said" whitney her name is miracle not bella i am sorry your daughter died a day after she was born but darn it not every little baby is bella or leif jr, i am sorry your lost your kids" whitney replied" they are with me right now" the other girls were looking at us all weird and i did not know how to explain it to them or let alone did i think i could try to explain it to them. i put miracle back in her bouncer and kiss her forehead and said" let just look at dresses ok" i knew randy idea for me to get a nap was a good one but after walking back in on whitney break down moment i was not sure it was the best idea with her there. a hour later whitney boyfriend called and she left without saying much to anyone about her leaving. the moment she left everyone look at me. i said" i can't explain her mind but she seriously thinks they are here but not here i do not know how to explain it." i sigh softly and figure since she was gone i could go take a nap. i told the girls i was going to go lay down and could they watch the kids for me. they did not care and they just nod their heads and they decide to stay to watch the kids.

a hour and a half later i woke up and i felt a little bit better but not much but i guess a little bit was better then nothing. i come downstairs and see miracle rocking and moving her arms like she was dancing. i giggle softly since she was dancing to mickie james songs. kendall was sitting on the couch drinking juice. i walk over toward him and sat down and he smile and climb into my lap and rest his head on my chest. i smile and rub his back and said" hi my sweet boy" ashely walks in and said" miracle come here" miracle walks over and ashley hands her, her sip cup and she smiles and plopped down on the floor and drinks her juice. ashley said" jessca and liz and maria went to get movies and pizza and they wil pick up julian and alanna" i nod my head and replied" cool" ashley said" how was the nap" i replied" it was ok for the most part" i had not really told anyone what happened at my mom house. i mean randy knew some but he did not know everything and i know you cant start a marriage off hiding secrets but at this moment it was scary for me to think about and it would be scary to talk about because it would be like re living it and i did not want to relive it. mickie james smile and look at kendall and said" you know how we girls have guys walking us down the aisle" i nod my head and said" yeah i do why" mickie replied" i pick kendall" i giggle softly and said" mickie he is just one he just start walking" mickie replied" see i knew you were going to say that so i have a surprise" i heard a knock at the door and i knew it was not the girls because they would have just walk in with the kids. mickie walk over toward the window and giggles and jumps up and down and i could not help but fall over laughing and ashley start laughing as well. mickie said" your surprise is here?" i replied" what or should i say who is here?" mickie said" go open the door and find out" ashley takes kendall and i get up.

i open the door and i froze in my spot and said" skittles?" i smile and look at mickie james and said" oh my god" jeff hardy laugh and replied" hey angel, mickie and i are on tna together and she was talking about the wedding and wanting to have someone walk with her and i wanted to see everyone again and see you again so i decide i would" i smile and hug him and said" that is prefect come in" jeff comes in and i introduce him to my kids and i could not wait until julian came home because jeff hardy was one of his favorites because randy orton and john cena and evan bourne and a.j styles. jeff was holding miracle who seem very interested in his hair. then i heard voices coming and then i see julian and alanna and everyone. i smile this was going to be good my friend jessica was in love with the hardy boys in middle school and i knew she would be excited to see jeff just like julian would be excited.

julian and jessica face were priceless i took a picture of it and then i took pictures of them with jeff hardy. then we start eating and julian and jeff went to julian room to play video games. me and the girls watch movies. later that night everyone stayed at my house and i just went to mine and randy room and i miss him so much. he would a few days off but that was from wrestling that was not from promotion his dvd and meeting fans and sign stuff. i pull out my smartphone and went to my pandora app which is a radio thing and i look at all my playlist i had on there since i could not sleep i was hopping that music would at least help me a little bit. i look out the window and saw the full moon and just lay there hugging one of randy's shirt close to my chest because it smell just like him. i knew it was late and that i should sleep but i was afraid if i closed my eyes i would be back in that room with that man and i was helpless then and i was not helpless now but in my dreams i was helpless all over again. i get up and walk into julian room and see him a sleep and i just gentle tuck him with his blanket. i walk into alanna room and she was a sleep holding her teddy bear close to her chest. i walk into miracle room and she was a sleep and so was kendall.

eight hours later i woke up from the smell of pancakes and i knew it was jeff. i get up and walk downstairs and i walk into the kitchen and it was jeff and mickie. they notice me and said" miracle and kendall are in their play pens, jessica took julian to school and alanna to day care and ashley and maria and jessica left to go to work so you are stick with us two" i giggle and said "cool that is fine with me" mickie replied" a package came for you in the morning it is over here" she pointed to the front door and i walk over toward it and it was addressed to me from randy, which made me more excited since i miss him so much i wonder what he get me. i open it and the first thing i saw was a letter and i unfold it.

_hey baby _

_i was just sitting in rooming with john you know the rapper who snores and talks in his sleep wishing i was holding you in my arms. i was thinking about -what my vows should say and i realize i have no clue at the moment because everything i want to say how much you mean to me, you are already know i can't wait until we are married, i love you, you are the most amazingly beautiful, talent, smart, nice, great mother and the kids and i are very luck to have you and we do not regret having you in our lives, you made my life better just by being in it, so i was thinking something special i could write well i have it using your name in a special way, like a. mazingly beautiful, n. ice kind heart naughty (private wink face) g. oofy good looking. talented, l. ovely. . c. reative, caring and i cant see my self without you. and forever love you. _

at this point i had happy tears rolling down my cheek and whipping them away and i was not even done reading the letter or seeing what he had gotten or sent me. i laugh at some of the stuff in the letter

_i was just laying here in the room lonely in my bed missing my home feeling i get everytime i am around you. i hold the pillow and i fall a sleep and dream of your face. i love you and i love our kids. i love the fact that you took julian and brought him home with you, i know he is your nephew and you know everything he has been through and you brought him into our love him, he is a great kid and you are the greatest aunt i know taking on all that you are. john just throw a pillow telling me to go to bed so i better before he get huffy and puffy even through he is puffy he calls himself fluffy. i love you more then words could say and i can't wait until our wedding day. love you sign your future husband._

i smile softly as i get up and walk toward the box and open it more to see what he had sent me. the first look like a very old box which had me confused and then i open it and froze. it was my grandma custom made bracelet with different things on it. i had remember being a little girl and see this and trying it on. then i saw a note it was my dad hand writing

_randy told me what happen with your mother angel i am sorry i know you miss your grandma and i found this in her box of stuff i had in my shop and i know she would want you to have had the bracelet i love you. dad _

i smile softly as i put the box beside me and went looking through the other stuff. there was boxs from buildabear and i giggle softly since i knew and i had a strong feeling the smaller animals were for the kids and bigger two were for me. the first box of mine that i open was a panda bear and i press the stomach. i heard husky voice and almost felt weak in the knee. randy said" hey baby i know you like pandas and i saw this and get it for you, i love u and miss you just know that i am counting down the days until you and i are together again and i am so glad that you wait for me, i love you" i froze and thought _he is going to sing the song. _part of me was happy if he was going to sing and the other part did not really know if he could sing. then i heard his husky voice saying or try to sing this

"Wait For Me"

You are not alone tonight

Imagine me there by your side

It's so hard to be here so far away from you

I'm counting the days till

I'm finally done

I'm counting them down, yeah, one by one

It feels like forever till I return to you

But it helps me on those lonely nights

It's that one thing that keeps me alive

[Chorus:]

Knowing that you wait for me

Ever so patiently

No one else knows the feeling inside

We hang up the phone without saying goodnight

Because it's the sound of your voice that brings me home

It's never been easy to say

But it's easier when I've gone away

[Chorus:]

Knowing that you wait for me

Ever so patiently

Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and

It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

[Bridge:]

What I'd give

What I'd do

Knowing I'm not there for you

Makes it so hard to leave

What I'd give

What I'd do

Anything to get me home to you

And this time I'll stay

And you wait for me

Ever so patiently

Yeah, you're everything I've ever dreamed of having and

It's everything I need from you just knowing that you wait for me

then i heard the voice" baby i love you" i smile and sat there and i was so happy just to hear his voice and have something to hold against me at night when he was not home. the next box i open was a hedgehog. then i press the button and heard the voice again and said" ok baby i know you think i am crazy and probably confused why i pick a hedgehog, most people like the cute animals, but this is different and special just like you, from the moment i saw you i knew you could be something special in my life and i have been right ever since you walk into my life" i smile and blush softly so glad he could not see me blushing. the little gift he get the kids alanna was a hello kitty and miracle was a hello kitty. the boys were wolve looking dogs call fence wolf. i put the kids presents in their rooms and i put my stuff in my room. i walk over and grab my phone and i figure he was in a match or at the gym or at a fan thing or a promotion thing. so i text him

hey i get the package today thank you so much baby i do not know what i did to desreve such amazing guy but i love you and i can't wait to see you. i sent it and then i head back downstairs when mickie called my name. me and mickie and jeff ate.

jeff had to leave since he had to be on tna tonight since it was going to be his first night back on there me and mickie told him that we would watch. then mickie realize she had to go as well since eric from tna just called her and told her that she had to be there since she was the women champion so her and jeff left at the same time which left me home alone for the first time in a week. i look at the clock there is four hours until alanna and julian would be home. the twins were with randy orton parents who had came to get them after mickie james and jeff left.

i did not know what to do because sleeping was not a choose at this moment since the nightmares were so bad that i would woke up in a pool of sweat or wake up with my heart racing and my body shaking. i just wish someone was here with me so i could relax and not be scared. i was strong most of the time but ever since i get back from my mom place it was like i lost my strength that i use to have. so i pull out my lap top trying to find something to get my mind off of the horrible thing my mind was playing over and over in my head like a bad movie. i play a few games and then i decide i had to find a song for me and randy to dance to at the wedding. i already had the father and daughter song. i did not want it to be to cheesy like taylor swift "you belong with me" i love the song but i think it was a little to cheesy. so i decide to look up wedding songs. i decide to look up ten top country wedding songs since i love country music. the first site i want to had good songs. they had the songs and who song them and why they were on the list and i love all the songs so i wrote down the ones that i like. after looking up the country songs i decide to go to see if pop artists had any good songs that were not cheesy.


	15. Chapter 15

chapter 15

i decide to rock/pop bands first. i see a song called guardian angel by red jumpsui-t apparatus. i listen to it and smile it was a really good song so i wrote it down wit te other songs that i had written down on a piece of paper. then i heard my cell phone ring and smile since i knew the ringtone and it was ted. i pick up the phone and said" hello teddybear" ted smile and replied " hey randy said i could ask you this so i am going to can i stay with you for a little while i do not want to go to a empty house, can i stay with you?" i said" sure i mean it will be kind of nice to have someone to calm me down even i get mad and sure when are you coming?" i heard a knock at the door and walk over and open it and see ted and said "now" 

i laugh and hang up and hug him softly since the last time i saw him was a week or so ago at the twins party. ted said" where is everyone" i replied" jeff and mickie had to go to tna, jessica and ashley and maria had to go to work, the twins are at randy's parents and julian and alanna are at school/day care" ted said" thanks for letting me stay" i nod my head and replied" you do not have to thank me ted i was glad someone called" ted look at me with concern and i knew that i had to tell someone but i was not sure if it was going to be ted that i told. ted said" ok randy told everyone that you have been acting kind of weird since you came back from your moms, what happen? please tell me i am worried about you" i shallow the lump that was forming in my throat and just sat down on the couch and said" the day i found out i was pregnant i saw her and i took the gun out of the hide spot i have" ted look at me and replied" gun? randy has a gun?" i said" no it was gun i had after randy get hit by the car i figure i need a gun to protect my self and my family" ted nod his head and did not say anything else and so i figure i should start again. i said" i go out and i see my nephew in the car and i knew i could not shot her then he most likely had seen a enough and we pull up to a warehouse and i turn to see if he was ok and the next thing i know everything goes black and i woke up what felt like two hours later i found out was more like 12 hours later when i woke up and i was in basement and i was scared and then i heard julian voice and then i saw why he was crying red ants were bitting him, my sister comes down and i told her to let him out, anyways three months later scott my sister boyfriend comes down where i was and tries to rape me and i stab him over and over and push him off, part of me wanted to run and never look back but my nephew was upstairs i had to save him and i go upstairs or up front of the house to go into the house because the basement you had to go out side to go into the basment and out side to go into the house and i did not see him when i walk in the house but my step dad grab me and takes me into the room and ties me up and rapes me over and over about the fifth time he met his cilmax he finish and cut the rope anyways he throw me out side after the pain stop i get up and went to the neighbors and told them to call 911 and the police came and arrest them and i saw them carrying julian out and told them i will take him with me and after we get check out at the hospital i came here" ted just sat there and i could see the angry in his eyes and i said" ted you can't tell anyone ok i will when i am ready" ted nod his head and hug me for the first time in a while it felt like everything was going to be ok. ted wrap his arms around me and rub my back softly and i fall a sleep in his arms.

two hours later i woke up when i heard julian said" aunty wake up" i slowly open my eyes and julian look scared and i sigh softly and slowly sit up and hug him and said" it is ok julian this is my friend ted he is just going to stay with us for a little while" julian went to go play and my friend jessica decide to get mcdonalds for everyone for dinner. for the rest of the night nothing really happen we ate and then we all want to bed. i walk into mine and randy room and laid down next to his stuff animals that he had sent me and just lay there looking at the moon and the stars.

**six months later halloween **

i was nine months pregnant and due any day now. alanna was dress up as Cinderella and julian was dress up as a blue power ranger and miracle was a lady bug and kendall was a puppy. after me and jessica took them around we decide to take them to see their grandma and grandpa for a little while. it was eight at night so we had four hours of halloween fun just me and her and we could not really do alot since i was pregnant. the baby was kicking like crazy and it was just getting really bad. i was thankful me and randy had decide a name andrie grace orton. the pain was getting so bad i told jessica we had to go to the hospital. we get to the hospital and the doctor just look and make sure the baby was ok and they said that it look like the cord wrap around her neck. i froze since john dad told me that john was born and the cord was wrap his neck three times. i was now really scared i could not lose this little girl so they decide to do a c-section as they were getting me ready for that. my friend jessica was in the hallway calling everyone.

the phone ring and john picks it up and said" hey this is randy phone but this is john speaking happy halloween what can i treat you to?" jessica replied" you are married you can treat me to tell randy that angelica is in the hospital the baby has the cord wrap around her neck and they have to do a c-section i am going to stay with her but you have to get him here somehow some way i do not care how and i do not care what way" john said" yeah we will be there soon he is doing his match right now but afterward we will be there" jessica said" ok here is the hospital oh you know what hospital just make sure you guys get here soon" they both hang up and john who has not prayed in a long time get down and start praying. evan comes in and see john and said" what the world are you doing" john replied" praying angelicas friend just called and she is in the hospital they have to do a c-section so when randy is done with his match we are going" evan said" ok" the match ends and randy wins and evan goes to get him and told him everything that john told him. the boys head to the car and head toward the airport because hunter had a plane waited for them. randy just look out the window and just prayed over and over and so did the other two males.

**two hours later **

i woke up in alot of pain and jessica in my room and no one else and i felt kind of sad that randy was not there. jessica was a sleep and i did not have the heart to woke her up so i just laid there looking up at the ceiling. i just laid there and then i turn on the tv on the lowest volume but just enough so i could hear

" a mother and a daughter broke out of jail, police say they are very dangerous" i froze and look at the clock it was still halloween and it was my mother birthday and i felt sick to my stomach. she was out and i just had my baby girl and i was weak and sore. i just hope the police catch her this time because i knew that if they didn't she was on her way to where i was to finish what she had started. i felt tears rolling down my cheek as i heard the door move and i felt chills down my spine and slowly turn my head and see randy and john and evan. i smile softly i was very thankful to see those three at the moment. randy see the tears and walks over and hugs me and said" hey what the matter is the baby ok?" i look at him and shug my shoulders and said" i do not know i was in alot of pain and i passed out, randy she is out it was just on the news her and my sister are out" randy said" are you sure it was them" i replied" a mother and daughter broke out of jail how many mothers and daughters do you know that are in jail" randy just look at me and hugs me and said" everything will be ok, i promise now i am going to see if our daughter is ok i will be right back" john and evan hug me and they just sat down and they wake up jessica. a little while later randy comes back and said" she is ok they just run some tests on her just to make sure she is health and everything" i nod my head softly and randy walk over and climbs in bed beside him and hugs me. i felt so good to be in his arms and i felt something with my hand and it was like coth feeling like a bandage. i was confused and said" baby" he look at me and replied" oh yeah don't worry it is nothing bad here" he gets up and took off his shirt and i saw our kids initials and smile when i see mine and his initials with the words family always and forever under it. i smile and run my hand over the tattoo and kiss him softly and said" that is so sweet" a few hours later a nurse brings andrie in the room and i held her and smile softly. john and evan and randy were around me so jessica took a picture of me and my daughter and the guys around us. then she took one of just me, randy and the baby and then one of just randy and the baby. the guys head back to mine and randy place with jessica to get some sleep since it was now monday morning or early monday morning and evan and john had to be at raw that night. the nurse came to get andrie and then me and randy go to sleep ok randy want to sleep but me not so much finding out that my mom get out of jail was seriously freaking me out to no end. i hope they catch my mom and my sister because if not i was scared what they would be planning.

eight hours later my cell phone rings and i grab it and press talk and said" hello" julain voice replied" aunty, they are out what if they come here? what if they come get me? what if they come and hurt both of us? what are we going to do?" he did not give me a moment to answer at least one question and i did not really know how to answer any of them, because i was scared of the same things that he was and for the same reasons that he was. i said" listen to me buddy no one is going to get you guys ok, you guys are not going to school or day care to day or any day until they are caught or we come up with another plan but i promise you, you are safe i took you away from them to protect you and keep you safe and that is what i am going to do now listen to me, if you go out side go in the backyard, do not go in the front if you see them either one i want you to tell adult ok" julian replied" ok i promise where are you at?" i said" i am at the hospital i had your nirece last night but i will be out either later today or tomorrw ok" julian replied "ok i love you" i said" i love you to buddy" he hangs up and i hang up and just lay there looking up at the ceiling not wanting to go back to sleep because thanks to them being out the nightmares were back. i heard the husky voice whispering" good morning my angel" i smile and replied" good morning baby" he said" who was on the phone" i replied" julian he was really scared about them being out, randy i am scared about them being out because if they are out and my step dad is out with them, they are going to come looking for me and julian" randy gentle turns my head so i was looking at him and said" angel i will protect you, ok they wont hurt you or our kids i wont let that happen i wont lose you again" i just nod my head and rest my head on his shoulder and he rubs my back softly.

three days later me and andrie get to go home. i put her down since she was a sleep. randy put the twins to bed and puts a movie in for julian and alanna and we meet in our room after he turn on the security system. he walks behind me and wraps his arms around my waist i was still a little sore from the c-section and he kiss my cheek and said" i am here but i have to go tomorrow and i am scared to leave you alone" i turn around and kiss him softly and said" everything will be ok, mickie and jeff will be here after the preview sunday and they are here until wednesday night and then i was thinking me and the kids could go to my dad house a while my step mom is there and my step mom knows alot of police and she can help me with the kids" randy nod his head and said" i like that idea baby beside it will be a good way for alanna and me to get to know your family a little bit and a little more" i nod my head and just relax my back into his chest as we stood there looking out the window. after the movie we told julian and alanna it was bedtime. they both brush their teeth and then they want to bed. randy smile and grabs my hand and i thought we were going to bed but he walks us downstairs and turns on a playlist from his i=pod and wrap his arms around me. i put my head on his shoulder and music start playing. he smile and said" i know not the most romantic but i want just to hold you and i know you sleeping is not the best idea because of the nightmares so this is to take your mind off of all that stuff" i smile and replied" how did i get so luck to have such amazing sweet nice guy" randy said" i am not sure baby i am not sure how know luck i am to have such amazing girl who could do so much better" i smile as we just sway to the music and did not say anything else just enjoy the moment.

the next day randy had to leave and he really did not want to and part of me did not blame him. but the other part was kind of e angry at my mother that she had scared randy this much that he did not feel great leaving me alone with five kids. so i told randy when jeff and mickie came we were going to pack and put some stuff it storage and rest was going to come with us just until my mother and sister was caught. we were not selling the house and we would move back as soon as they caught my mother and sister. he kiss andrie forehead and then he kiss the twins who was kind of hard to get a hold of since kendall had start walking it was not really walking anymore it was more like run on his tiptoes. he give julian a hug and alanna a hug and a kiss. he walk back over toward me and kiss me softly and said" i will call you when the plane lands and everything i love you" i replied" i love you to" he left and when he left i feed the kids breakfast. after i change miracle and kendall and andrie. i put a movie in julian room for alanna and julian and then i put a movie on in the living room for the twins. i turn on baby monitiors all over the house and decide to do some washing clothes and everyone thought i was weird that i did not want a clean lady in the house. i told them that it was scary for me to have a stranger in my house when my mother was so crazy and i just felt more comfortable doing things on my own. after doing one load and put another load in the dry and folding a load. i heard feet and a gate shaking and giggle softly and said" miracle hope orton hold on i am coming" i walk back upstairs and see her standing there shaking her cup which means her cup was empty. i full up her cup and hand it back to her and a little while later kendall walks over and does the same thing and i fill it up and hand it back to them. they had not spoke a word yet and i was really ready for them to. i decide to do the dishes and put them away and everything. i feed the dogs and put water in their bowls. i walk back into the house and smile seeing the kids dancing around to the wiggles. i decide to pack while the kids were watching tv. i decide to do the twins room first and i did not pack everything just some clothes for hte moment and i put them up so they would not end up on the floor. julian did not really have much with him at this house yet so that would not be hard to pack.

after i was doing all the running around the house almost like a chicken with head cut off. i sat down in andrie's bed room and sat down in the rocking chair and she start crying and i gentle pick her up and gentle rub her back and change her diaper again. i put her back in the crib when she goes back to sleep and i go back downstairs and it was noon so i decide it was lunch time so i told julian and alanna and i made them mac and cheese and hot dogs.

after they ate i decide to put the twins down for their naps and i let julian go downstairs to play video games and let alanna stay in the living room to watch a movie since she wanted to watch Cinderella. then the phone rings and i pick it up and notice the caller i.d and it was randy phone number. i smile and pick it up and said" hey" me and him talk for a few mins until he had to go to the gym. after we hang up i heard a knock at the door and look out the window and see jeff and mickie so i let them in. mickie said"where is the sweet little andrie" i replied" upstairs a sleep just like kendall and miracle i think i mean kendall and miracle are watching tv for quiet time and maybe they will go to sleep, julian is downstairs in the game room and alanna is in the living room" jeff look at me and said" game room where" i giggle and pointed toward it and jeff left to go to the game room. mickie and i roll our eyes and laugh and said" boys and their games" jeff was walking out of the room and replied" girls and your shopping" i giggle softly and i look back at mickie and said" i thought sunday was when you guys were coming" mickie said" it is we just stop by for the night, hey tna is always in orlando and stuff you should come get away vacation" i look at her and replied" vacation i just had a daughter three days ago, i have one six year old julian, the twins and little alanna my mom is out of jail i am not sure a vacation is the best thing at the moment" mickie nod her head and said" good point but when andrie is a little older i mean it will be good for the kids to go to disney world and have fun and be kids" i nod my head since i totally without a doubt in my mind agree with mickie about the kids needing to have fun and be kids. then i hear little andrie and miracle crying and me and mickie head upstairs. i get miracle first because kendall has been fussy lately so i did not want him to wake up if he was not ready to wake up. i change her and hand her to mickie as i go get andrie and pick her up and we walk back downstairs and i andrie in her baby swing on low and mickie puts miracle in the play pen and has it face the movie that alanna was watching. i walk over and peek in on julian and jeff who were playing wrestling of course. i roll my eyes and head back to the kitchen. mickie see the list of songs i had writing down and said" have you pick one yet" i shook my head and replied" no i just dealing with me being pregnant then having the baby and then finding out my mom is out of jail i just have had alot of other things on my mind" mickie nod her head as she just look over the songs. mickie said" so what are you and randy doing for thanksgiving" i replied "going to my dad house then i do not know what else but we are moving down to my dad at the moment so that is why when you guys come back we are leaving" mickie nod her head and said" why are you moving" i replied " my mom know randy house, my mom knows my dad house but my step mom knows the police really well so my mom wont be able to get to me or the kids" mickie nod her head and said" ok so no on the song what about dresses?" i look at her and replied" i mean i know what i want i just have not tried anything on yet" mickie said" are both girls going to be flower girls" i look at her and replied" alanna yes, miracle i am not really sure at the moment maybe but i am not sure and i know their dresses are going to be like light blue or a light pink color and julian is the ring boy" mickie said" what about little kendall" i replied" i do not know we are kind of afraid he might try to eat them and i do not know" mickie sits down and start writing names down and what each person would be doing. i just filled up cup with a lid for little alanna and a sip cup for miracle. i walk back and i see her list and laugh softly and said" ok you and jeff, maria and ted, ashley and matt, john and liz, whitney and cody, nathan and jessica, i do not see whitney walking with cody i am sorry but oh well, i like the flowers girls and julian the ring boy and kendall and miracle walk back and julian and alanna walk back aww mickie i love it" two hours later they had to leave and that means i was alone once again.

**a month later thanksgiving**

we had finish moving into my step mom house a week ago. all the kids include my nirece bailey who is five, my nirece ashton who is five, my nirece kate who is five and no they are not triples they were just born three months apart, ella who is two years old and my nephew andy who is eight, brayden who is three and brodie who is one all want to the play room that my step mom had made for my nireces and nephews when they came over. andrie was upstairs a sleep in the play pen crib thing. randy was on his way down to my dad house and my dad was watching tv and everyone else was cooking or they were putting tables together. i decide to watch tv with my dad since i was really not that good in the kitchen and i did not really want to be in the way. i see my step mom mom with my step mom brother and his wife walking into the house. i realize they had not meet miracle or any of my kids include julian and alanna actually most of the family that was here or that was coming have not meet them yet or randy. my dad said" when are you getting married" i replied" as soon as they catch mom i do not want her to ruin this and i have a feeling that she is up to something and i just i want my fairytale wedding i want it to be prefect and i know things cant be prefect but i am wanting them to kind of be at least somewhat prefect you know" he nod his head softly as he gets up to help my step mom mom into the house and want to go make his famous shrimp dip. i get up to get my kids and start the introduce them to people. my step mom mom kept saying the children names wrong so julian and alanna want to go back to play with bailey. but i put brody and kendall and miracle in the living room. because i was tired of hearing bailey whining because the littles one were not listening to her. i walk upstairs and see andria was still a sleep. my step brother walks upstairs and said" hey where is my new little nirece" i giggle softly and pick and replied" over there a sleep" my step brother josh(looks like brad pitt it is scary) walks over there and picks her gently and said" wow she has hair like thick" i nod my head and replied" i know just like mine poor girl" josh laughs softly and just held the baby girl. josh said" five kids and you are only 23 years old are you nuts?" i replied" julian is not mine he is my sister you know the little red hair that use to be here all the time that is her son i took him in because she was a horrible mother to him, alanna is randy's daughter her mother died and i fall in love with that little girl the moment i saw her and the twins and that little one you are holding now are mine, i am not crazy i just love my family" he did not say anything for a moment and said" i am sorry if i made you mad it just most people your age do not have kids and are not getting married and if they are getting married it because they are pregnant" i did not say anything and gentle take andrie from him and replied" i love randy i have for almost five years, for two year it nearly killed me seeing him happy with sam, she hated me so much after that accident then when i found out i was pregnant with the twins she literally tried to ruin my friendship with randy, do not act like you know what normal people because you don't"

a few hours later it is dinner time and randy show up and i was so happy to see him. me and randy sat with the kids since there was not enough room for everyone at the tables and i just offer us to sit with the kids. because i knew the kids miss him just like i did. alanna looks at andrie and giggle softly and said" daddy she looks like you" randy replied" does she?" he look at me and i nod my head and replied" yes she does the eyes and the nose" randy smile and said" she is going to be a cute kid we are going to have to hit boys with sticks" i giggle softly and replied " aww protective daddy"


	16. Chapter 16

chapter 16

**december 16 **

i am turning 24 today and i decide we could just do a little birthday party since i was still not safe or felt safe with my mother still out there. randy told me that my birthday present was me and the whole family going to walt dinsey world since i want once but i could not remember anything about it and he wanted us all to have fun. it was one of my birthday presents from him and it was also one of the christmas presents for the kids. i wanted to wait until andrie was a little older but i still like the idea so i decide we should go and then we can go again later on when andrie gets a little older. we let randy's brother and sister and mom and dad come with us and my dad and my step mom and my niece bailey and my nephews brody and brayden and their mom and my step brother and my niece's mom becca. we decide to stay at a beach house we decide all the boys meaning brayden, julian and kendall were going to be in one room. we decide that miracle and brodie were going to share a room. then we decide alanna and bailey were going to be share a room. then me and randy and andrie in one room. my step brother danny and his wife lyndise in another room and my dad and step mom in another room and becca in the living room. randy said "baby i prospal to you a year ago i love you, i love our kids i want to get married can we please get married" i sigh softly and kiss him softly and replied" yes baby i know you do and i do to, i love you more then anything in this world but i just want it to be prefect i do not want my mother to ruin this" he hugs me and said" baby it is already prefect i am marrying you and living my life and starting my life with you" i smile and kiss him softly and replied" you are the sweetest man i have ever meet" randy said" we should go to bed since we are taking the kids to sea world tomorrow" i nod my head and replied "ok" i feed andrie her bottle and then get her to go to sleep and then me and randy went to sleep.

the next morning we woke up and start eating breakfast. we had not told the kids what we were doing yet. me and my step sister becca get the kids ready while everyone else was getting ready and i was happy. alanna walks over to me and said" mommy tell kendall he has to put on his shoes he keeps telling me no" i giggle softly and replied" sweetie he does not have to put on his shoes right now i will put them on when we get to where we are going ok" she nod her head and hands me kendall shoes. becca look at me and said" she just call you mommy" i nod my head and replied" i know i am ok with that we told her after sam died that she could cal me whatever she was comfortable calling me" then i heard a husky voice said" honey where are kendall shoes" i giggle and replied" downstairs with me and bring him down here i do not like him up there by himself but i can't move you know how miracle gets sometimes when she is shy" randy said "ok i will get him" randy comes down with kendall over his shoulder and said" have u seen kendall" kendall giggles and i laugh and replied"no i haven't i guess he does not want to leave" kendall look at me and said" i want to go bye bye" i smile and replied "there he is" randy smile and hands kendall to me and i put his shoes on. randy decide to take the kids out and put them in the car as we were waiting for everyone else. we decide randy would drive and i would sit in the seat beside him. we had julian, alanna, and andrie sat in the middle row and the twins are in the back. the next car is my dad and my step mom and my step sisters lydnise and becca and danny in the middle row and brayden and brodie in the back row. alanna said" where are we going" julian replied" yeah where" i giggle softly knowing that they would find out soon and said" you will find out soon" so we head to the sea world place and all the kids get excited ok the older ones that know where we are get excited and the young ones like brodie and the twins an andrie have no clue where we are. we get the stroller out and our had three so for the baby andrie who was in the back one then miracle and then kendall. my stepsister lydnise had brodie in the back one and brayden in the front one and bailey and Julian and alanna walk. we saw all the animals and then we went to the dophlin show and then the whale show. when kendall love both but miracle was not really that sure about any of it and either was brodie. after we were done at sea world we decide to head back to the house and let the little kids that need naps to get naps because well they would get fussy and we did not want to have to deal with that. so i figure while the kids were napping like andrie, miracle, kendall and brodie. i decide that we should take bailey, brayden, julian, and alanna to the beach. plus becca, danny and lyndise want to go to the beach and me and randy want to go. so my dad decide that him and my step mom who had back issues were just going to stay and watch the kids that were taking naps.

we all walk to the beach since the house was right next to the beach. we stay for like two hours until bailey was getting fussy and whining about being hot. it was nearly six o'clock and lydnise ask randy if we could go out the four of us because she wanted to get to know her future brother in law a little bit better. i thought it is a good idea but we have to ask my dad and them to watch the kids. so we go back to the house and take showers and get dressed into clothes to go out. i decide while randy was putting a movie in for the four kids that were six, five, three and three. i walk downstairs and ask my dad if he could watch the kids and my dad and my step mom and my step sister becca did not have a problem with that.

so me, lydnise, danny and randy head out to randy car and went to a sea food place. lydnise said" so randy how long have you two known each other" randy replied" almost six years" lydnise said" how long have you guys been together" randy said" almost two years i prospal to her last year on her birthday" we drove to the place that we were eating at and get out. randy held my hand and we walk into the place and we get a table by the window and girls were on one side and boys sat on the other side. i order a sweet tea, lydnise order a mountain dew, randy gets water and my step brother gets a beer. we look at the menu to find out what we were going to order for dinner. i decide on some popcorn shrimp and pasta. lydnise gets grill shrimp and pasta. randy gets lobster and danny get lobster. we sat there and talks for a while and food comes and we ate. after we ate we decide just go walk on the beach as the sun was going down. randy and i walk on the beach and he wrap his arm around my waist and kiss the side of my head and said "baby you seem so much more relax here i love it" i smile and kiss him softly as we just walk. randy said" i have a idea since you did not want to party when it was your birthday because of you mom, how about we party here, like a new years/ birthday party" i smile and replied" that seem like a cool idea" i kiss him softly and he kiss me softly. then i heard my step brother looking for us and said"come on lets go and tell them what the plan is then i will tell my dad" randy nod his head and replied" ok" we head back to the hummer. danny and lydnise both like the idea of us doing a new year/ birthday kind of party. we get back to the house and it was still early so i thought it would be nice to take the kids to get some ice cream. lydnise wanted to come and so did becca so i decide to make it a girl and kid thing. i get the kids shoes on that were coming and see kendall walk over to his dad and tries to climb on the couch and said" dada" i giggle softly and replied" he is dada boy" randy smile and look down and siad" hey buddy do you want ice cream" kendall nod his head and he looks at his daddy. i said" i think he wants u to cmoe with us" randy smile and replied "ok ok" he put his shoes back on and picks up kendall and we head toward the ice cream place. when we get to the ice cream place julian gets snicker ice cream, bailey gets chocolate, becca gets rocky road, lydnise gets strawberry which she was going to share with brayden and brodie. i get strawberry cheese cake ice cream. alanna gets bubble gum which she offer to share with miracle. randy gets orange and he shares with kendall. we ate ice cream and then we walk back to the house but during the walk kendall, miracle, and brodie all fall a sleep. so we get home and put kids to bed and lydnise and brayden go to bed. i just sit down on the couch with becca since bailey and alanna went to the game/ play room this house had. becca said" so when are you getting married, i mean a boy that sexy is not going to wait forever" i look at her like i wanted to smack even through i knew she was most likely right. i replied" i know that becca but i can't with her out there i do not want her to find out and ruin it, but coming to the church and waiting until we leave and shot us or something, i do not want to have to worry about her, i want to focus on the wedding not her and her pyshconess ruin it"

over the next four days we did everything from walt dinsey world every single part of it which took two days and we went to other parks as well. new year day was here and we told my dad the plan and he did not mind staying back with the kids because he was tired from all the running around that we have done over the past few days and my step mom did not want to go because her back issues. so we go out and go dancing and having fun and i did not want to drink but lydnise was 21 and she wanted to, and everyone else wanted to drink as well. so i decide i was going to be the driver. i get necklace from lydnise and then i get a gift card from danny. randy said" honey i have your presents they are just at home i mean your dad house i will give them to u when we get back" i nod my head and replied" ok" the rest of the night we party at midnight we kiss each other softly and head back to the house and we see everyone was a sleep.

**three months later in march **

it has been five months they still had not caught my mother or my sister and i finally realize i could not put my life on hold anymore because of and the girls went dressing shopping and found all of the prefect dresses. my dress was a light blue color wedding dress that was strapless and sleeveless. the bride maids and maid of honors were the same color and style. miracle and alanna dress were light blue Cinderella looking kind of dress. so i decide we were going to get married and so the guys decide to throw a bachelor party for randy and he told me that he did not want to go. the kids were staying at his parents house. randy walks into the kitchen and said" baby i do not want to go to bachelor party, you know why i will have to make sure john does not cheat or drink to much and that is not fun for me" i giggle and wrap my arms around him and kiss him softly and deeply and slowly pull away and replied" think about it like this we will get married in two days just go out have fun with the guys and i will have fun with the girls and we will see each other soon and it will be me in my wedding dress and walking down the alter to you" he smile and kiss me and said "ok i will go" i replied" good just remember i love you and i can't wait to walk down that alter to you" he smile and kiss me softly and we heard a knock at the door and i knew who it was and we walk toward the door and i see jeff,alex riley, john cena and morrison, christian, ted, cody and evan and marc who is john cousin and john brothers and nathan randy little brother. marc see me and hugs me and said" first congrates and can we steal your future husband away" i giggle softly and hug him and replied" sure marc i did not know you swing that way through" everyone brusted out laugh and marc just look at me and hug me and they left and randy give me one last kiss and leave.

two hours later the girls come which is beth randy sister, liz john wife, ashley, jessica, maria, mickie james, eve, becca, lydnise and i found out whitney was not there because she had to work and no one knew what she did for work. i had no clue what we were going to do tonight and i was partly excited and partly scared.i trusted my girls and i hope they were not getting me a stripper or a male dancer or whatever you call it. i would just feel weird about it. i knew the guys most likely were going to have strippers but i had faith in randy that he would not do anything to hurt me and i knew i would find out if anything happen from of the guys, because they were bad about keeping secrets especial ones from me.

meanwhile randy and the boys were at a club and drinking and having a good time. randy said" guys this is good no strippers please, i do not need them i do not want them i just want a night out with the boys" the guys nod their heads but they were not really listening since they just saw the girls that ask to come to spicy up the party just a little bit. john matthews notice who two of the girls were and froze and grab john cena and said" no we have to get randy out of here" john cena replied" why, come on he is getting married he should have some fun" john matthews said" no the tall red hair that is angelica sister trust me i have seen the girl on several ocassions i know what the girl look like and the other girl i am saying no to is whitney" john cena replied" ok" before he could say anything my sister was all over randy and whitney was kind of blocking everyone from getting to randy. john matthews calls the police on angelica sister but the club they were at was almost out in the middle of no where so it would take a while to get there. angelica sister took randy to the back where they end up sleeping together. whitney hated doing this she did not get along with my sister yet she was helping my sister and the only reason why was to get money to seperate from her husband so that her and her boyfriend could get married. meanwhile me and the girls were watching sappy movies since they knew i was not really into the whole bar scene and i was not really into the whole male stripper thing even through it would be fun it was still making me feel weird. so after a few movies me and the girls just talk about everything and anything really. then one by one we all start going to sleep since the next morning and day was rehearsal dinner and stuff and then the next day after that me and randy were getting married. i was excited and a little nervous and worried that my mom and sister and step dad would ruin this but at the same time excited because i would be starting a new chapter in my life being a wife to randy. i go to my room and just lay in the bed looking up at the ceiling and just had a happy freak out kicking the blankets and just being all gitty and happy.

five hours later i woke up from the phone ring and groan softly it was not a good time to go to bed at 3 a.m so who ever was calling better have a good reason if not i was going to be very unhappy and they were going to get a snap out of me. i reach over and pick up the phone and said" whoever this is, it better be good" whitney's voice on the other end said" hey look it is me, me and my friend from work went to a party and anyways she left me here and i have to go get my car i was wondering could you come get me" i replied" whitney really it is 8 in the morning, i have to do other things to do beside coming all the way where ever you are and then drive all the way back pick up five kids bring them home get them dress get my self dress and go to the church and do all of this stuff i need four more hours of sleep maybe two more at most so can you please find someone else" whitney said" your sister screwed randy last night" i replied" shut up whitney that is not fun and i am not coming just because you said that kind of stuff" i hang up and just lay there and a few mitunes later i was back to sleep dream world. but thanks to what whitney just told me it was not good dreams but bad dreams of randy and my sister sleeping together and i literally a few seconds after ward jump out of bed. i jump in the shower and just stayed there for a while. _whitney would not lie to me would she and why would she lie to me so close to my wedding if this was a lie. _i thought to my self as i was washing my hair and body and put a smile on my face in a few hours i would be seeing randy. i pick out a pair of white khaki and and a purple loose shirt that was ruffle in the middle of it toward the end of it. i head downstairs and see jessica, liz and most of the girls up but for ashley. jessica look at me and said" someone looks nice are you excited about today?" i replied" yes but more about tomorrow i am going to be mrs. orton i liek that" the girls just left as we left the house which took three cars. me and jessica, liz and beth randy sister in my car. then mickie james, ashley and maria in mickie james car.

meanwhile randy froze when he saw who was in the bed by him and just get up and get dressed. the guys were up and they all did not say anything. ted wanted to say something but not to randy but to angelica about what happen. (i just realize my oc name john has the same name has josh on smackdown i just thuoght it and type it and now just realize it lol)john matthew lock the door from the outside and there was no windows so it was not like angelica sister was going to come out. john matthews said" police will get her and then her mom and then angelica will not have to worry about anyone ruining her wedding day" john cena replied" no one tells angelica what happen no one gets it" all the guys nod their head and randy just sat down and run his hands over his face and said" no i can't stop my wedding life marry life with angelica with a lie i am going to tell her" john cena look at him and said" what are you crazy? you tell her she get pissed at you and wedding is off and relationship is off just keep it to yourself if anyone else tells her we will tell her what happen but she is about to be arrest and no one is going to tell her" a female voice comes from behind them and replied" wrong i told her she need to know" all the guys turn around and see whitney and john matthew was really pissed and said" you bitch, you hurt her all the time, you slept with more guys she has like then anything i do not know why she is even friends with you" whitney said" we all know why you are friends with her because you pity her" john matthew said" that is not true she need someone to talk to when her family was really horrible to her and that was me and i try to help her at the time the best way i could and the only way i could help her half or most of the time was being there so she could talk to someone and let it out before she harm her self" whitney said" at least i tell her the truth unlike you guys" randy replied" you know i wonder how she is going to feel when you knew that her sister was coming and that you help her sister after what her sister and her mother and her step father did to her that you help her sister" the guys just left all but marc and john matthews to make sure the police get angelica sister. the police call angelica phone.

meanwhile i was with the girls since we had to be at the church soon i was finishing up a few things and my phone rings and i press talk and said" hello" the police replied" is this angelica carrilion" i said" yes this is she who is this" the police replied" we are the police ma'ma we have your sister in custody now we are still looking for your mother" i smile and sigh in a little relief they have my sister at least they have one of the three people. i said" thank you" the police replied" don't thank us ma'ma we were just doing our jobs but a mr. matthews and mr. cena" i froze john matthews and marc found my sister what, how that made no sense to me and i realy did not want to know right now. i said "thank you" i hang up and told the girls and we finish getting ready.

the rest of the day me and the girls were getting stuff ready and then we went to go pick up the kids and head to the church and the kids were happy to see their daddy so alanna and the twins run and julian was still not sure what to call randy or how to act with randy. so he help me with andrie and he push her in her stroller into the church and then me and the girls follow them in to the building. i was happy because in 24 hours or less i would be marrying randy orton. i walk over when i see randy pick up andrie and said" hey baby girl daddy miss you, next time mommy wants me to go somewhere i am going to say no, i miss my girls way to much and my boy" i giggle and walk over and kiss his cheek softly and replied" we miss you to but you need to have some fun" randy replied" i have fun with you and the kids, i have fun on the road with them and i like being home with you" i smile as i just sat there and kendall was whimp he did not like wearing shoes and it was just a phrase that he was going through. miracle see john cena and i swear being two or almost two or not i think she has a crush on him. she see him and said" johny" i giggle softly because he turn around and smile and replied" miray" miracle walks to him and john picks her up and playful dances around like a fool with her. alanna see ted and basically they do the same thing. then we do all the rehearsal stuff and then we get ready to eat which was pizza since we all decide on that. i get up to go to the bathroom and when i come out i crash into ted and said" oh sorry ted i was not looking where i was going" ted replied" he slept with your sister please do not marry him" i sigh softly and said" ted i care about you like a brother ok i told you my heart belongs to randy, you and whitney are not going to ruin this for me if you guys were really my friends you would stop lying" i walk and left ted alone in

the hallway.

later that night me and jessica rode in my car with julian, alanna and andrie in the middle and the twins in the said "when are you going to drive your mustang" i replied" i do not know i have five kids and i have to drive them around i will use it when i have one kid with me maybe two but right now i can't and i drive this" jessica said" ok what is wrong? you have been acting weird almost all day and night" i replied" nothing just have alot on my mind and i do not want to talk about it in front of the kids" jessica said " ok we will put the kids to bed and then we will talk" i replied" i do not want to talk jessica ok i just want to go to bed wake up in the morning get the kids and everyone at my house ready get to the church walk down the aisle to my future husband who will be at the alter" jessica said" ok um who is getting the boys ready" i smile and replied" evan offer to pick them up after they eat breakfast so evan is going to pick them up" jessica said"cool" we pull up to the house and julian pick up kendall and carried him in. alanna holds miracle hand and they walk in. i pick up andrie who was a sleep and i rub her back and we walk into the house. i put andrie in her crib and then i made sure all four kids brush their teeth and made sure they were in bed.

the next morning i woke up and i feed all five kids and pack diaper bag for the three kids. i grab some for kendall because he was not potty trained yet and then a moment later someone knock on the door. i walk over toward it and see evan and alex riley. i said" kendall, julian ride is here" evan replied" they did eat right?" i giggle softly and said" yes i just feed them" i hand him a little bag for kendall and said" his shoes, socks, sip cup and diapers and wipes" alex grab it and carries it out and julian comes out and walks to the car with alex. kendall walks over and i pick him up and kiss his forehead and replied" i will see you later buddy" kendall giggles and reachs for evan and evan takes him and they leave. then me and the girls get ready and head to get hair and make up done. i was getting my hair curled and alanna wanted her hair curled. they try to do miracle hair and she shook her head and kept smacking the lady hand doing the hair stuff, so i just told them to leave her alone since her little bit of hair she has was already wave/curly. but i did let them put a little make up on her cheeks and lips and she giggles. then we get to the church and i put my dress on and look in the mirror. i had a blue necklace which was from my grandma that had die that randy had gotten from my dad. i had a blue rose hair clip in my hair that was borrow and the vail i had was something old. i had find it in a box of stuff at my dad house but it was not vail that cover the fact it was one with stuff on the side (like what jamie wearing walking down to landon in a walk to remember kind of vail). i just look in the mirror and sigh softly because i was happy but at the same time sad, most girls had their mothers or grandmas help them get ready and get them encourage words but i did not have any of that. alanna comes behind me and said" mama do i look pretty" i turn around and kneel down and replied" you do look pretty you and andrie and miracle all three are my beautiful little angels" alanna smiles and hugs me and i hug her softly. everyone goes out but i have mickie go with the girls. i look at my self one more in the mirror and i walk to the door where my dad was. he smile and kiss my cheek and we head toward the double doors where i would be walking out of and down to randy and walking back into and out of with a new last name. i giggle softly with a huge face on my face and my dad laughs softly as we walk down the alter. i look down and see randy and the kids and everyone and smile as a happy tear roll down my cheek. we get to the alter and my dad kiss my cheek and shake randy hand and gentle places my hand on randy's hand. randy gentle whip my tear away and mouth" i love you and you look beautiful" i smile and mouth "i love you to and you look very handsome" i look down and see kendall with shoes on and look back at randy and he mouth" i wait for the very last moment to put them on" i smile. the preacher does his normal thing and then we get to the vows which me and randy wrote our presonalize vows. randy smiles softly and said" baby you know how much i love you,I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH...

ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU

GIVE MY LIFE, MY LOVE, MY HEART

AND MY SOUL TO YOU AND FOR YOU'

ENOUGH TO WILLINGLY GIVE ALL OF MY

TIME, EFFORTS. THOUGHTS, TALENTS

TRUST AND PRAYERS TO YOU

ENOUGHT TO WANT TO PROTECT YOU'

CARE FOR YOU, GUIDE YOU, HOLD YOU

COMFORT YOU, LISTEN TO YOU, AND

CRY TO YOU AND WITH YOU,

ENOUGH TO BE SILLY AROUND YOU

NEVER HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING FROM

YOU, AND BE MYSELF WITH YOU...

I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO SHARE ALL OF

MY SENTIMENTS, DREAMS, GOALS,

FEARS, HOPES, AND WORRIES

MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH YOU

ENOUGH TO WANT THE BEST FOR YOU,

TO WISH FOR YOUR SUCCESS

AND TO HOPE FOR THE FULFILMENT

OF ALL OF YOUR ENDEAVOURS

ENOUGH TO KEEP MY PROMISES TO YOU

AND PLEDGE MY LOYALY AND

FAITHFULLNESS TO YOU.

ENOUGH TO CHERISH YOUR FRIENDSHIP

ADORE YOUR PERSONALITY, RESPECT YOUR VALUES

AND SEE YOU FOR WHO

YOU ARE...

I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO FIGHT FOR YOU

COMPROMISE FOR YOU AND SACRIFICE

MYSELF FOR YOU IF NEED BE]

ENOUGH TO MISS YOU INCREDIBLE WHEN

WE ARE APART, NO MATTER WHAT LENGHT OF

TIME ITS FOR AND REGARDLESS OF

THE DISTANCE

ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP

TO STAND BY IT THROUGH THE WORST

OF TIMES, TO HAVE FAITH IN OUR

STRENGTH AS A COUPLE, AND TO NEVER EVER

GIVE UP ON US

ENOUGH TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE

WITH YOU, BE THERE FOR YOU, WHEN YOU NEED

OR WANT ME, AND NEVER EVER WANT TO LEAVE YOU

OR LIVE WITHOUT YOU...

I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH" everyone was in tears including me.

then it was my turn with my vows and it start to hit me. for some reason what ted and whitney said was running my head over and over like a bad song. everyone was looking at me and i realize i had been quiet for a little to long. i said love you. You are my best friend.  
>Today I give myself to you in marriage.<br>I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you,  
>and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle.<br>I promise to love you in good times and in bad,  
>when life seems easy and when it seems hard,<br>when our love is simple, and when it is an effort.  
>I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard<br>These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.

_. _then the preacher does the sickness and health until death do us apart and we say what he says and slip the rings on our fingers. the preacher says" you know kiss the bride. randy smile and kiss him softly and slowly as he slowly pulls away and said" i love you mrs. orton" we walk back out to where we go and we went to our own little room for a few. randy kiss me softly and said" you seem a little spacey out there, are you ok?" i just married him and i did not even know how to ask him if what i heard was true or not and if it was true i did not know what i would do. i replied" i am fine it just all little over whelming you know we just waited and we finally get married" randy smile and kiss me softly and said" yes we did and i meant every word i said" i replied" i know and i meant every word i said" we change into other clothes i mean i love my dress but it was just not what i wanted to wear to where we were going to meet and eat with everyone. i put on this light blue dress that went a little past my knees. randy change into some khaki and a shirt. we head to where everyone was and everyone clap and john cena announce "ladies and gentlemen mr and mrs. randy orton and angelica orton"


	17. Chapter 17

chapter 17

we decide to eat and stuff. kendall was whining he did not like his shoes. i giggle softly and place kendall in my lap and slip his shoes off and playfully tickle his feet and he giggles and wiggles. i smile and kiss his forehead and said" you are goofy little boy" my friend jessica taps her glass and said" ok maid of honr give speeches, angelica we have known each other since the sixth grade and we have been through bomb threats, to break hearts to the good and the bad and we face each thing together and we bond into sisters and that is what i think of you as my baby sister and i remember the first time you told me about randy orton, i could hear the smile in your voice and i could tell you were in love with him and over the next few years i saw you guys facing everything together and apart, randy i do not know that much about you but what i do i like you make my baby sister so happy, you guys truly define true epic life alter love heres to randy orton and my baby sister angelica orton" everyone claps and sips on their drinks. then john cena stood up and marc said" talk do not rap" everyone laughs and john rolls his eyes and said"ok i have known the knuckle head angelica married for almost 14 years and like jessica and angelica we dealt with alot and we had grew into brothers, the first time randy talk about angelica, i swear i thought i was going to have to smack him because he would not shut up about her, i get to meet her almost two months or so later and i found out why he could not stop talking about her since she was and is one of the sweetest girls in the world, she does not care about her self like she should but she cares about others and how they are doing, i hope you guys have a long happy marriage, sister if you ever have a problem with the knucklehead you know who to call" everyone laughs and randy and john have a man hug and john kiss my cheek and hug me. my dad gets up and i kind of froze because i had no clue what he was going to say. my dad gets in front of everyone and said" my daughter is the most important thing my life i remember it was two am december 16 when she was born she was so tiny and little and had so many problems doctors did not think she would make it but i prayed every day anyways she made it and i have always be there for her now knowing she is married and someone else is going to be there for her, it is hard but i will always be there and randy you make my little girl happy i am glad to call you son" my dad give randy a man hug and me and hug and a kiss. randy smile and lean over and kiss me softly and said" i love you" i replied" i love you to" i look down at kendall who was reach for a strawberry that was on my plate. i giggle softly and cut it in to a small piece and hand it to him. beth said" now husband and wife will share their first dance which is all my life by k-c and jojo" randy smiles and i smile and put kendall back down in the table and told jessica to sit by him. randy grabs my hand and we walk to the middle of the dance floor.

I Will Never Find Another Lover  
>Sweeter Than You<br>Sweeter Than You  
>And I Will Never Find Another Lover<br>More Precious Than You  
>More Precious Than You<br>Girl You Are..  
>Close To Me You're Like My Mother,<br>Close To Me You're Like My Father,  
>Close To Me You're Like My Sister,<br>Close To Me You're Like My Brother  
>And You Are The Only One My Everything<br>And For You This Song I Sing...

All My Life  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>And I Thank God  
>That I..That I Finally Found You<br>All My Life  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too  
>Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too<p>

I'd Send You All That I'm Thinking Of...Baby

Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger  
>You're All I'm Thinking Of<br>I Praise The Lord Above  
>For Sending Me Your Love<br>I Cherish Every Hug  
>I Really Love You<p>

All My Life (Ohhhh..Baby, Baby)  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>And I Thank God  
>That I...That I Finally Found You<br>All My Life  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too  
>Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too<p>

You're All That I Ever Know,  
>When You Smile All My Face Always Seems To Glow,<br>You Turned My Life Around,  
>You Picked Me Up When I Was Down,<br>You're All That I've Ever Known,  
>When You Smile My Face Glows<br>You Picked Me Up When I Was Down  
>Say...You're All That I've Ever Known<br>When You Smile My Face Glows  
>You Picked Me Up When I Was Down<br>And I Hope That You  
>Feel The Same Way Too<br>Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

And All My Life  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>And I Thank God  
>That I..That I Finally Found You<br>All My Life  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

All My Life  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>And I Thank God  
>That I ..That I Finally Found You<br>All My Life  
>I Prayed For Someone Like You<br>Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

(Fading)  
>And All My Life<br>I Prayed For Someone Like You  
>And I Thank God That I...That I Finally Found You... <p>

randy kiss me softly as we were still on the dance floor. beth smiles at me since she knew that was a song because i heard it the first time me and randy kiss and i just like the song. i just look at randy and i felt so safe in his arms and i gentle laid my head on his shoulder. then the song your gurdian angel by redsuit appartus comes on.

When I see your smile  
>Tears run down my face<br>I can't replace  
>And now that I'm strong<br>I have figured out  
>How this world turns cold<br>and it breaks through my soul  
>And I know I'll find<br>deep inside me  
>I can be the one<p>

I will never let you fall(let you fall)  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all(though it all)  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<p>

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.  
>Seasons are changing<br>And waves are crashing  
>And stars are falling all for us<br>Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
>I can show you I'll be the one<p>

I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<p>

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart  
>Please don't throw that away<br>Cuz I'm here for you  
>Please don't walk away and<br>Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will  
>Pull my strings just for a thrill<br>And I know I'll be okay  
>Though my skies are turning gray<p>

I will never let you fall  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<br>[to fade] 

i felt tears roll down my cheek. i do not know why but a bad feeling wash over me and it felt almost like i could not breathe like something was crashing me. i could not lost randy and he softly whisper" i love you baby i will keep you and the kids protect even if it sents me to heaven" i want to say something but i couldn't and i just left my head on his shoulder. beth said" now it is time for the father and daughter dance" john cena get up and walks over so beth could dance with her father and press the button to play the song which is called i loved her first by heartland. randy dance with alanna, beth dance with her dad and i dance with mine.

Look at the two of you dancing that way  
>Lost in the moment and each other's face<br>So much in love, you're alone in this place  
>Like there's nobody else in the world<p>

I was enough for her not long ago  
>I was her number one, she told me so<br>And she still means the world to me, just so you know  
>So be careful when you hold my girl<p>

Time changes everything, life must go on  
>And I'm not gonna stand in your way<p>

But I loved her first, I held her first  
>And a place in my heart will always be hers<br>From the first breath she breathed  
>When she first smiled at me<br>I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday  
>But it's still hard to give her away<br>I loved her first  
>[From: <span>.<span> ]

How could that beautiful woman with you  
>Be the same freckle face kid that I knew<br>The one that I read all those fairytales to  
>And tucked into bed all those nights<p>

And I knew the first time I saw you with her  
>It was only a matter of time<p>

I loved her first, I held her first  
>And a place in my heart will always be hers<br>From the first breath she breathed  
>When she first smiled at me<br>I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday  
>But it's still hard to give her away<br>I loved her first

From the first breath she breathed  
>When she first smiled at me<br>I knew the love of a father runs deep

Someday you might know what I'm going through  
>When a miracle smiles up at you<br>I loved her first 

my dad kiss my cheek and after the song ends walks over to my step mom and sits down. the rest of the time we spent dancing and having fun until it was time to cut the cake and we end up getting it on each other faces more then anything by the end of the night i had not seen whitney or heard from her all day.

a few moments later everyone was starting to leave and i do not know why i just had a really bad feeling something was wrong. they caught my sister and they did not say anything about my mom. randy's parents and sister and brother took the kids. randy notice we were alone and gentle pull me toward him and we start dancing and i turn and see evan do a thumb up thing and i playful roll my eyes. it was josh turner i wouldn't be a man

There's a slow moon rising  
>It's shining on your skin<br>The way your body moves me  
>I know there's no holdin' back<br>No holdin' back

I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like this  
>I wouldn't be a man if a woman like you<br>Was anything I could resist  
>I'd have to be from another planet<br>Where love doesn't exist  
>I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like this<p>

I can feel passion flowing  
>As you fall into my arms<br>The secret way you touch me  
>Tells me there's no holdin' back<br>No holdin' back

I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like this  
>I wouldn't be a man if a woman like you<br>Was anything I could resist  
>I'd have to be from another planet<br>Where love doesn't exist  
>I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like<br>Roll with me baby all night long  
>Soul to soul with me baby all night long<p>

I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like this  
>I wouldn't be a man if a woman like you<br>Was anything I could resist  
>I'd have to be from another planet<br>Where love doesn't exist  
>I wouldn't be a man if I didn't feel like this<p>

randy said" i love you angel" i replied" i know and i love you to" evan said" so randy am i still giving you guys a ride to the airport" randy throw the death draft with his eyes at evan and i giggle softly and replied" baby be nice" randy said" it was a surprise" i replied" it is still a surprise he did not say where you were taking me" randy smiles and kiss me.

a little while later we all three head to the car and i see a light lime green car pull up and i froze for some reason. the bad feeling just sent chills down my spine and goosebumps down my arms. i felt my body almost immediately shaking shaking. randy said" baby what is wrong?" i replied" the car." randy said" you mean the ugly green one it is not her baby come on, you siad it yourself your sister is in jail the caught her" i said" they caught her no my friend john matthews and marc found her and they said nothing about having my mother randy" randy wraps his arms around me and said" it is ok come on we can leave" we start walking again and evan was already in the car. i turn around just watching the car with my eyes and randy was just behind me and said" baby come on" i replied" it is her i know it is her" randy said" just come on" then i heard the sound that i will never ever be able to get out of my head. it was glass breaking and almost like a fire cracker went off two and then the car speeds off. i felt his arms still around me but they were loose and look over my shoulder. it was randy and he was shoot and he falls and i run to the car and bang on the door and evan look at me like i had complete lost my mind. i said" call 911 randy was shoot just call 911 please" evan nod his head and calls 911 and i walk over back to randy and said" baby come on stay with me it is ok you will be ok" i was crying and he softly replied" i protect you and the kids it might sent me to heaven but at least the kids always have you" i felt tears roll down my cheek and gentle handle his hand.

15 minutes it took 15 minutes to get from henderson church to hospital and there was one life that was laying in the balance and he is my husband. i can't think of alot of things that take 15 minutes but if i have to think of a few let me see michael jackson's thriller video for one. the moment we get to the hospital they took him to the back and the rest of us meaning me and evan were just there to wait i guess that is why they call it the waiting room. every five minutes i heard the emergency room doors open and every time i felt the wind from them opening i felt a chilly feeling down my body and especial my spine. then i felt someone pull me in their arms and for the first time since the whole thing happen i felt the hot moist rolling down my soft cheek and rubbing my hands that were covered in blood. the person holding me softly said" honey angel what happen" i heard his voice and just slowly look up at him and said" she was going to kill me, ME, why did he, why did he stood behind me, if i lost him i do not know what i am going to do" john rub my back in small circles and said" why did he do it? he loves you and he knows that he had to protect you someway some how he decide that he would protect you the only way he saw how, did they catch her" i softly said" i do not know, but if they don't and i find her i will make sure she and my step dad are six feet under" john did not say anything as he held me in his arms. then i heard someone say" why did you marry him? he is a cheater once a cheater always a cheater" i look up and see ted lean against the wall across from me. john gets up and i push him down and i am 4"5 and i walk over toward ted who is 6"2 and said" would you please shut the hell up? he did not cheat on me. tell him evan, john, alex" when i heard no one say anything i felt like i was alone and turn around and replied" i know you guys heard me" evan said" angelica" he stop and i saw a look on his face i never seen before which was apology. i look around and it was like all the guys had the same looks and i felt sick to my stomach and run to the nearest bathroom and closed the door and went to the last stall and lock it and the moment the lock connect i felt my back against the stone cold wall and legs came to my chest and i just cried and then the sick feeling start coming up and i crawl toward the toilet and puke. then i heard mickie and the rest of the girls checking on me but right now i did not want to talk to them and hear them saying" randy loves you, you guys get married and he would not hurt you" i knew that i would believe it. i just wish i could stop time and go back to henderson parking lot and i get shot. but i did not have a time machine and i could not go back in time and this was real.


	18. Chapter 18

chapter 18

i spent the next three hours in the bathroom not really talking to anyone and yes that includes the boys do not ask me how they get into a girl bathroom with out getting called out by security or out of the hospital for doing that. i was thinking he had slept with whitney since i just thought she strike again and she just ruin my life once again. i slowly get up and splash water on my face and look up in the bathroom mirror and i was so mad at my self and upset and alot of emotions in me. i just punch the glass and felt tears roll down my face as i felt the glass cutting my skin. i felt numb and empty and just hollow. i come out of the bathroom but i did not go to anyone i just slip my back against the brick wall out side of the bathroom and like a reaction i just start hitting the back of my head against the wall. i did not know what time it was and at the moment i did not care i wanted randy and me to be where ever his special was not in a hospital and him fighting for his life. i did not notice anyone coming and sitting by me. then i felt someone picking me up and then i saw a female nurse picking the glass out of my hand. i was so numb feeling that i did not feel the pain that i knew was there. then i look up and notice that it was john matthews and he just shook his head not saying a word. i do not know why but him being disappoint in me hurting me more then anything but for the fact that my husband was in a hospital operation room. because he and i have been through alot together in the three years that we have known each other. the nurse wraps my hand up and told me to clean it and everything but that i should be ok in a few days or so to use it. i just nod my head surprise th-at she did not ask what happen or anything.

the moment she walks out john matthews look at me and said" he needs you and you go off and do something as stupid as this are you out of your mind?" i hated this he was mad at me. i felt numb and emotionless and he was yelling at me and that was the last thing i need and at the same time it was like the one thing i need to feel like someone give a damn. i replied" she tried to kill me john, ME i am her fucking daughter and she tried to kill me and SHE might have killed randy, do you know how bad this is killing me? then on top of everything i find out the day before my wedding and the night of my wedding my husband cheated, so i have the right to act THE HELL I SEE FIT" i get up and walks out of the hospital and the moment the cold air hit me. i just sigh softly as i step out side and i felt all the girls running and hugging me. i hug them and just lost it and they just told me like i knew they would that everything would be ok. then they saw my hand and start asking me what happen. the only person that kind of figure it out was jessica and she just look at me and shook her head as she told everyone that i had a problem with depression and they understand and they just hug me and we just talk.

a little while later we go back into the hospital and i froze when i saw the doctor and john look at me and mouth" he is in a room and coma baby girl" i felt like my world just crashed and the wind was just knock out of me. i thought _how am i going to tell the kids? how am i going to tell alanna? how was i going to tell julian and the twins? they better catch her or she better hope to god i do not find her because if i do god have mercy on my soul. _i walk over and said" is he going to be ok" the doctor replied" he is like that it did not hit any of the organs i mean i heard she was so close i do not see how she miss but he has lost alot of blood we won't know until he wakes up" i did not know what to say and just nod my head.

**a month later**

randy was still in a coma and i had told the kids what happen and i hardly left the hospital unless it was to go home to see the kids for a little while and that was hard because i was scared that if i left him that it would be the last time that i saw him. i had start cutting but no one really knew that i did it because i hide it so well and i knew how to hide it because my friend whitney who i have not heard from use to do it and she told me how she hide it. i come back to the hospital after putting the kids to bed which was when i left them with my dad and my step mom who were staying at randy and mine house. i could not sleep in our bed since he was not home and it just felt empty in that house. it was already past the twins birthday and randy birthday and the twins missed their daddy and so did alanna. they have not caught my mother yet which was pissing me off. i pull back up to the hospital and just sat there in my car and i grab the i-pod that beth had put mine and randy songs on. i knew i was getting a little one tree hilly but music had to help me i mean it help lucas yes i know he is a character but come on girl can dream. i turn off the car and just sat there for a moment and finally get out and head back into the hospital and i saw john cena and liz sitting there in randy room but i did not want to go in just yet. john cena said" man wake up, the kids needs you, angelica needs you, she might think we do not know but we do know she has been cutting her self and she hardly eats anymore, she knows that you well you know what happen at your party anyways she loves you man woke up" i heard john and felt worse then anything. liz said" come on randy alanna lost sam, she can't lose you to she is only a little girl needs her daddy every little girl needs their daddy and you have two others that needs you as well so wake up"

i walk in and put the i=pod down and everything i had in my hands down. john look at me and said" no before you even sit down you come with me" i replied" john i am not in the mood i am tired, i am not feel good just leave me alone" john said" you need to eat something he needs you and you are letting yourself go what kind of wife are you?" i look up at him and replied" excuse you, john go to hell ok, i am in hell right now, he is laying in that hospital bed because of me, she wanted ME dead, you know better then anyone beside randy how miserable she made my life, so dont you question my love or feelings for randy, i hate my self for this" i sigh softly and whip away my tears and said" part of me wants just to lock my self in a room and yell and scream and let everything out so it is not build up in me, the other part of me wants him to wake up so i can be mad at him and he can just tell me everything will be ok that we can face this together, i can't get what he said out of my head" john look at me and said" what do you mean" i replied" he qoute that guardian angel song and he said i protect you and the kids it might sent me to heaven but at least the kids will always have you, they will have me who will i have i need randy" john walks over and hugs me and said" i am sorry i did not mean to say what i said it just honey, the cutting and the not eating and everything you do has to stop, he needs you well ands the kids need you to be ok, they are little and you are the strong mother" i just nod my head and john said" come on lets go get something to eat he would kill me if he knew i did not get you to eat" i giggle softly and whip tears away as me and john went to go get something to eat. we get into the lunch room and i eat alot because most of the time i just ate crackers or cracker and peanut butter. after i ate and john ate, we just sat there for a little while. john said" honey why are you mad at him, you said you need him to wake up and say we can face this together and so you could yell at him" i replied" you know why what did ted say a month ago, whitney told me the morning of the rehearsal dinner and ted told me that night and then ted tells me the night randy is in the hospital and i ask you guys to tell him to shut up and all of you were quiet, i mad because he cheated, heck he cheated on sam with me, me with whitney maybe we shouldnt be married" john look at me and said" who said it was whitney?" i look up at him and replied" excuse me? what did you just say?" i start to feel sick again like the first night and then it hit me it was not whitney it was my sister.

we head back to the room and john and liz left and i just sat there curled up in a ball on the chair by his bed and put head phones on his ears and found the song i was looking for and said" please come back for me and the kids, they need their father and i need my best friend" and press play.

Every now and then  
>I get a little lost<br>The strings all get tangled  
>The wires all get crossed<br>Every now and then  
>I'm right upon the edge<br>Danglin' my toes out over the ledge  
>I just thank God you're here<p>

(Chorus)  
>['Cause] when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun<br>['Cause] when I'm a firecracker comin' undone  
>When I'm a fugitive ready to run<br>All wild-eyed and crazy  
>No matter where my reckless soul takes me<br>Baby you save me

It's hard lovin' a man  
>That's got a gypsy soul<br>I don't know how you do it  
>I'm not sure how you know<br>The perfect thing to say  
>To save me from myself<br>You're the angel that believes in me  
>Like nobody else<br>And I thank God you do

(Chorus)

Well I know I don't tell you nearly enough  
>I couldn't live one day without your love<p>

When I'm a ship tossed around on the waves  
>Up on a high wire that's ready to break<br>When I've had just about all I can take  
>Baby, you,<br>Baby you save me 

i press stop for a moment since i had the volume where he and i could hear it. i kiss his forehead and said" baby you are always here for me, like the car accident we were in you save me from my depression because you talk to me every day and you and everyone made me feel like i was normal when i knew i wasn't, you save me by giving me the beautiful family we have, you save me with all the drama we had for nine months, i guess you save me because i realize you always cares about me" i felt tears in my eyes and said " so woke up i am always going to be here for you and the kids always and forever"

after a while i fall a sleep right beside him where i knew i belong with him. the idea of me wanting to hunt my mother and step father down like they were deer was still rolling around in my brain, but my kids and my husband need me more and me not to be in jail. i just look up at randy as he was just laying there and i just closed my eyes and hope when i woke up. his ice cystral grayish blue eyes would look at me with a smile on his face saying" hey beautiful". i was hopping when i woke up that it would be my reality. two hours later i woke up when i felt someone grip getting tighter. i hope it was not one of the boys or girls pulling me away from my husband, because if it was one of them i would bitch slap them. i was having a good dream at the moment and if they ruin it. i was not going to be one happy camper and then i felt someone caress my cheek with their fingers. i was scared to wake up feeling like this was part of my dream and if i open my eyes he would still be in a coma and i would still be lonely with four scared children asking for their daddy and the fifth one being six months old not having a clue what was going on. i just place my hand on his chest as i was laying on my other arm. i knew i would have to open my eyes eventually it just at the moment being in my dream state was pretty amazing. i felt the person softly kissing my forehead and cheeks and again i am still thinking this is part of my dream. because i have the same dream for a month now and in the beginning is what happen at the church we get married and everything then in the middle turns into the nightmare where he gets shot and then it is like a month or so later he is wake and every time really open my eyes and i realize it was all just a i felt the person touching my finger and slip it off and read" my angel" he slips it back on and kiss my lip softly. i kiss back softly and we slowly and i still kept my eyes closed and then i heard his husky voice singing.

"Stare At You"

I still get lost, caught in a daze,  
>Tongue tied, just like the very first day...<br>I saw you and I'm so amazed  
>Cause the look that got me twisted still hasn't changed<br>Your sexy eyes never lie,  
>Baby, I lose myself (when they open)<br>Girl, forget about goin' out  
>Baby, I'd rather not (so, I'm hoping)<p>

[Chorus:]  
>I can just stare at you forever (oh, baby)<br>I can be here with you doing whatever (my lady)  
>It's not the way you look that brings me to my knees,<br>It's the way you look at me  
>I could just stare at you forever<br>If forever you were staring at me  
>What do you see? I can't figure it out<br>You're talking to my heart withought making a sound  
>I can't lose when I'm caught in your eyes<br>(I feel like superman) Got me up in the sky  
>Your sexy eyes never lie<br>Baby, I lose my ground... (you're so gorgeous, oh...)  
>Girl, forget about goin' out<br>Baby, I want you now...

[Chorus]

Baby, keep the lights on  
>I'm gonna stare at you all night long<br>And we'll keep rocking 'til the sun shines  
>Waiting 'till the moonlight to do it again<p>

[Chorus]

i smile softly and flick my eyes open and see randy and he smile and said" there my beautiful baby blue eyes that i could stare at you for ever" i did not know what to say. i was so happy to hear his voice again and to see his blue eyes and to know he was actually there. i slowly get up and i just thought i would get a nurse and tell her that he was up.

the nurses and doctors check on randy and while they were doing that i called or text everyone and told them the good news that randy was wake and right now that was all i knew and that i would keep them update when i found out more information. everyone really happy that he was up and i was really happy that i did not lose him but in the back of my mind i was extremely mad at him. i was thankful that i was laying on the hand that had all the cuts and stuff that were mostly healed. the only thing is i heard john telling randy in his coma state that i cut my self and i was not sure if he had heard that or not and part of me was scared to death that he had and the other part was hopping that he hadn't. the doctor comes otu and i snap back into reality and the doctor said" he is very luck that he will only be sore for a while but the pain will be gone and he will be good as new" the nurse comes out and they told me that i could go back in there. randy was sitting up and smile and said" baby, i am so glad that you are ok, the last time i remember was being shot and then everything kind of fuzzy" i replied" baby i was so scared i was going to lose you" randy look at me and pat the bed and i walk over and sit by him and he wraps arm around me and kiss the top of my head and said" i am not going anywhere you are stuck with me" i giggle softly and replied" i would not have it any other way" randy said" i heard john ok some of what he said i know you know i cheated honey i am sorry, i do not remember what happen really, one moment john matthews and whitney fighting and then the next your sister is all over me and the guys could not get to me because whintey was helping your sister honey i am so sorry the only person i love and has my heart is you and only you, no other divas, no other girls but you and my daughters and my sister and my mom have my heart" i smile and kiss him softly and said" i love you and no one else, but if you cheat again i will personality make sure you cant have anymore kids" randy laughs and kiss me softly. later on everyone came to visit randy all of our friends were first and then two at a time left. john matthews and jessica were the last two and i was hopping since randy did not hear john talk about me cutting that they would not say anything about it. i was out with the kids in the hallway with his mom and dad. a voice said" why? he cheated on you and you forgive him? i could treat you better then he would and i would never cheat on you, i would treat you like a priceless princess" i look up and i walk away from the kids since i did not want to agrue or cuss in front of them and said" ted drop it, right now because if you do not me and you won't be friends" i walk away but then i felt someone grabbing my arm and pulling me toward them and kiss me. i push him and slap him and said" stay away from me and my family" i walk back to the kids and said" ok who wants to see daddy" alanna and the twins jump up and down and i pick up andrie. julian just walks with us and i knew that he did not jump because he did not know what to call randy or how to act about randy. jessica help alanna and miracle on the bed. i notice john was not in the room and either was kendall and he was just in front of me. jessica notice me looking around and said" kendall had to potty and you told me you were potty training them" i nod my head and just left it alone. i said" girls be careful" they both nod their heads and hug their daddy and randy hugs them and kiss their forehead. randy see andire and said" hey cutie" andrie reaches for her daddy and i giggle and walks closer to the bed and randy just hugs her and said" oh my you gotten bigger all of you have" the kids just giggle and then kendall comes out of the bathroom and said" i big boy" i giggle softly and replied" you use potty like big boy" kendall nod his head and i smile an give him a high five and then help him on the bed and randy give him a hug as well and said" wow i have a big boy now" kendall smile and said" i wuve you daddy" randy said" i love you to buddy and your mommy and your sisters and julian"

**a week later **

we go on our surprise honeymoon which was a cruise. the first night we were there we just stay in the room. the second day we just lay by the pool all day which the end result was both of us sun burn well me sun burn my legs and some of my chest. my arms were covered by a 3/4 quarter inch sleeve shirt cover for the bathsuit. later that night the one thing i hope he did not ask me. he look at me and said" honey, i did not say anything in front of anyone but i hear john about you hurting your self and you have had your arms cover and your right hand cover in bandages, so tell me" i replied" honey i was scared and i felt alone so i thought i do not know that my pain if i was in pain that i could handle you being in the hospital" he gentle caress my cheek and said" baby do not do that ever again, i can't lose you, the kids can't lose you" i nod my head softly and gentle wrap my arms around his neck. i gentle took off my top and he run his fingers over the scars and then he gentle raised my left arm and kiss each scar and then lightly kiss my neck and i giggle softly since i am ticklish in my neck and he does the same thing to the right side. we end up making love twice and i fall a sleep in his arms.

we get back five days later and our kids were happy to see us. then randy mom tells us that they found my mom and step dad heading to mexico but a cop stop them since they were in a stole car. i was happy and i just jump up and down and jump into randy arms and he spin me around.

the end

author note i do not own any of the songs or any one from wwe. i know this chapter is kind of a weird end but i could not think of must else. i will be working on another story.


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